Wedding reception 1 by lukket 7-19-05

How are you related to the bride anyway? What do you mean? I'm the groom! I figured that out, but still, we're in Arkansa for crying out loud. Are you insinuating that we only marry our relatives? I should throw you out of here right away. She's my cousin if you need to know.

Wedding Reception 2 by lukket 7-19-05

Your wife - is she your first? My first love? I meant, is she your first cousin? Yeah. No I meant - is she your FIRST cousin God heavens no! We're a big family.

Wedding Reception 3 by lukket 7-19-05

Why are you so uptight about me marrying my cousin? Haven't you had fantasies about family on your own? I only had a sister, and she suffered from Eurythmitis... Eurythmitis? Yeah. "Sisters are doin' it for themselves."

Wedding Reception 4 by lukket 7-19-05

Does the common grand parents sit on the groom's or the bride's side of the church? What do you mean? Isn't hard to know where to place family of you both? Not at all. How so? We draw lots!!

Wedding Reception 5 by lukket 7-20-05

Hey honey. You're a looker! Are you with the groom, the bride or both? I AM the bride. Sorry. It wasn't easy to see. What do you mean? It's not like you're dressed like a bride. Easy now. Mum told you not to hit the guests.

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troelsea at gmail dot com

Wedding Reception 6 by lukket 7-20-05

That guy in the green sweater - is he one of yours? That guy in the green sweater - is he one of yours? No. No. You'll lure him out through the back door, and I stand by waiting to hit him in the back of his head with a wrench and then put him in the trunk of the car. Deal!

Wedding Reception 7

I don't understand. He's not arrived yet, and he hasn't called in late. Considering what it costs to hire a wedding singer of his caliber, I'm very disappointed.

by lukket, 7-20-05

Wedding Reception 8 by lukket 7-20-05

Hmm that car seems to be leaking something... better go warn the owner Are you the owner of the black car parked out in front of this place? Uh... yes I am. What seems to be the matter, sergeant? It seems to be leaking oil or brake fluid from the back? But the motor is in the front!?

Wedding Reception 9 by lukket 7-20-05

Odd. If it's not from the motor, what is then that redbrownish thick-running fluid that leaks from the car? Um... Will it help you remember what it is, if I followed you to the car? Oh wait! It must be the .. um.. the maple syrup tank that is broken again! Yeah... that's what it is. O...kay... Noted. Have a good day sir!

Wedding Reception 10 by lukket 7-20-05

I have something to tell you. Me and Alex planned to have a wedding singer as a surprise for you, but he hasn't shown up as agreed. Have you seen him? NO! I haven't seen him. Um... how does he look like anyway? I called his manager, and he said that he had left his office to go here wearing a green sweater. Uh...oh... You look like you know something after all. No! I haven't k... seen him. I swear!

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troelsea at gmail dot com

Wedding Reception 11 by lukket 7-20-05

Still no sign, and he has left the office four hours ago. Did Mike see him? No. He seemed a bit odd about it though. Odd, how? He seemed like he knew something about it. I have kept it secret to him! I swear.

Wedding Reception 12 by lukket 7-20-05

I don't like how that wedding singer appears to have disappeared. It bugs me more that he HAS disappeared. We should call the police. It's hardly police business to catch wedding deserters. Won't you work with me here. No thanks. I quit tending bars several years ago.

Wedding Reception 13 by lukket 7-20-05

I'm worried for his life. I'll call the police right away. Do you think we'll get a refund, if he dies? Later I was told that you miss a wedding singer. Let me hear you first. We're short on time. That was the police man! Oh. I thought you called for a replacement.

Wedding Reception 14 by lukket 7-24-05

Hey! You were the one with the leaky car earlier today? Yes, officer. What brought you back? Am I being prosecuted for littering. I'm here about the missing wedding singer. What missing wedding singer? Oh sorry, I was told it was meant as a surprise. Yeah. He ... um.. it certainly was to me

Wedding Reception 15 by lukket 10-01-05

Well Mr. Did you see a man in a green shirt? I only saw people in the family. This is a big wedding reception. Surely there must be people from your bride's family as well? Officer, do I need to remind me that we are in Arkansas? Sorry. Stupid questioning of me. Don't worry. I won't take you out of here and shoot you like I... um... any more questions?

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troelsea at gmail dot com

Wedding Reception 16 by lukket 10-01-05

I understand that you're the bride. Have you noticed a guy with a green sweater whom you don't know? What did the groom say? He said he hadn't ... wait a minute ... I ask you Um... I haven't ... seen him before. Say, why do you store maple syrup in the trunk of your car? We don't.

Wedding Reception 17 by lukket 10-01-05

Your husband said that the thick red-brown fluid leaking from your car is maple syrup! Oh no! ... Well... since you know the truth I have to admit that ... we ... are ... um ... maple syrup smugglers! What!? You see, we drive to Vermont and fill up the trunk with maple syrup and smuggle it to here. That's hardly an offence, mam, unless of course you don't pay sales tax when you resell it! We do it for the thrill of it.

Wedding Reception 18 by lukket 10-01-05

I'm sorry mam, but I have to check the boot of your car. On what grounds? The parking space just outside this place. You can't do that - the sanctity of private property and all that. I can also just charge you with murder. Want to check my bootie instead, sweetie?

Wedding Reception 19 by lukket 10-01-05

You can't seduce your way out of this mam. Aww.... What on earth was that?! It sounds like troubles are over.

Wedding Reception 20 by lukket 10-01-05

What happened here mister! I saw the missing wedding singer! He was a suicide bomber lurking behind my car. He blew up the neighbourhood in the process shouting "Free Willy!" Free as in beer or freedom, willy as in the slang expression for a man's organs or as in the name? I don't know. I couldn't ask him. He just blew up. Why should I believe you, mister? You can't ask the deseased now, can you? I get so mad to think of all that sweet maple syrup that was destroyed!

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troelsea at gmail dot com

Wedding Reception 21 by lukket 10-01-05

Oh well. I'll have to send in the forensic team, but I doubt they'll find anything, so I guess you're free to go. That's a fair cop. Um. My car is damaged. Can I join your party while I wait for a replacement? Of course, I'll get you a badge and a campaign sticker!

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troelsea at gmail dot com

i likey alot. 2, 18, and 21 were my favorites. especially 2. i'd have rated it better than good if i could. it was like 2 punchlines for the price of 1

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what if nigger meant kite