I hit the random button

As Professor Pjork Von Byproduct surveyed the carnage left in the wake of his Destructobot, he realized: All of his enemies had been destroyed, but was it really worth the loss of his favorite bar?

by HCRoyall, 11-17-05

I hit the random button

It turns out the Urinating Bench was not as big of a hit as its creator had imagined...

by HCRoyall, 11-17-05

I hit the random button

There's probably a very good explanation for this. I for one, don't think I want to know.

by HCRoyall, 11-17-05

I hit the random button

Sammy the Snail was leading me into a trap, I knew it. Luckily, I had a long time to think up an escape plan.

by HCRoyall, 11-17-05

I hit the random button

As the deadly Snow Carp lunged towards him, Johnny took the only sensible course of action and dove for cover.

by HCRoyall, 11-17-05

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

I hit the random button

Somewhere, Lewis Black is suffering from an aneurism. If it weren't for my horse, I never would have spent that year in college.

by HCRoyall, 11-18-05

I hit the random button

The fact that I got beaten up by a cripple wasn't half as bad as the fact that he did it by using his own useless legs as weapons.

by HCRoyall, 11-18-05

I hit the random button

We argued for hours about which of our costumes was scarier, until the Monster got tired of waiting in the house and came out to devour us.

by HCRoyall, 11-18-05

I hit the random button

After three hours and no success, Maura thought that Queens probably wasn't the best place to be selling Confederate Memorabilia.

by HCRoyall, 11-18-05

I hit the random button

Clowns are always funny. Until you're raped by one.

by HCRoyall, 11-18-05

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

One more:

I hit the random button

"Soon," Abe thought as he examined his abominable creation, "Those execs will rue the day they cancelled Fish!"

by HCRoyall, 11-18-05

I don't know what possessed me to do these, but after the first three or four they struck me as reminiscent of Gary Larson's Far Side Comics.

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

My favorite was the "Sammy the Snail" one.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I hit the random button

No one had the heart to tell "Captain" Jerry that his "ship's computer" wasn't really what he thought it was.

by HCRoyall, 11-18-05

I hit the random button

It isn't wise to poke the Tiki. I had to learn that the hard way.

by HCRoyall, 11-18-05

I hit the random button

When they say if you walk far enough you can see the back of your own head, they're right. But what they don't tell you is that you aren't too pretty after the trip.

by HCRoyall, 11-18-05

I hit the random button

Some days it's just not good to be a door-to-door salesman. Luckily my hasty dinosaur disguise confused him long enough for me to get away.

by HCRoyall, 11-18-05

I hit the random button

He wasn't a perfect clone, but when I told him to fetch me a beer he didn't argue half as much as my wife.

by HCRoyall, 11-18-05

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

...or...

"My one wish," said the park bench to the fairy, "Is to get revenge on that damned dog who's always pissing on me." And the fairy made it so.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

I hit the random button

For the life of me I couldn't figure out how it got in my house. But DAMN it had some nice boobs.

by HCRoyall, 11-19-05

YES.

---
More lust than you can shake a stick at.