For this FTC I am graciously offering you a choice of three templates. You may use one or all of them. Isn't that nice of me? I know what you're thinking -- "Wow! He's the greatest." Ha, ha, I agree.

FTC 79: Template #1 by biped 12-10-05

GUESS WHAT, Mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY! OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!!

FTC 79: Template #2 by biped 12-10-05

GUESS WHAT, Mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY! OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!! Don't worry, Mom -- there's no law against it. I checked. BUT BOBBY, THE ANTI-MURDER LAWS APPLY TO EVERYONE, EVEN IF THEY'RE NOT SPECIFICALLY MENTIONED BY NAME!!!

FTC 79: Template #3 by biped 12-10-05

GUESS WHAT, Mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY! OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!! Mommy, I'm PREGGANT! And WOOFY'S the daddy! OH, HOW HORRIBLE!!! SOB!!!

Rules:

1. You cannot change anything whatsoever about the existing panels.
2. No photoshop.
3. You can use photoshop if you want.
4. Template #1 can be a 2 or 3 panel comic.
5. You can change anything whatsoever about the existing panels, as long as you don't mind being DISQUAYLFED!!!

To whoever hosts after me:
POST THESE LINKS
AND POST THAT THE NEXT HOST SHOULD POST THESE LINKS.
... and the host after that.
HOSTS! Read this first.
Awards List (Paste at judging)

HYPNO-BABY COMMANDS YOU TO ENTER THIS CONTEST.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Finnish t3h Cawmik by cpausti 12-10-05

GUESS WHAT, Mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY! OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!! C-SPAN HAS NO COMIC RELIEF!!! Don't worry, Mom! Ted Stevens is still in the Senate! NOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO!!!!

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all the wrong things for all the right reasons

FTC 79: Hot Roasts a Flyin' by BigFrank105 12-11-05

GUESS WHAT, Mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY! OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!! Mommy, I'm PREGGANT! And WOOFY'S the daddy! OH, HOW HORRIBLE!!! SOB!!! MY ROAST! IT'S RUINED!!! Oh, I'm sorry kids. What did you say?

FTC 79: She must be coming up the stairs or something. by theReverend 12-11-05

GUESS WHAT, Mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY! OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!! Don't worry, Mom -- there's no law against it. I checked. BUT BOBBY, THE ANTI-MURDER LAWS APPLY TO EVERYONE, EVEN IF THEY'RE NOT SPECIFICALLY MENTIONED BY NAME!!! You know, you really are an annoying cunt. I try, honey. I try.

There's no way by fuck I'm posting any links of any kind. Disquaalude me if you must.

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8===D

FTC 79: Why Drawinger can't win contests by drawinger 12-11-05

GUESS WHAT, mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY! OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!! Meanwhile, drawinger realizes he has no ideas, just a dumbass template. Dammit. Maybe if I do something random... Here's a llama there's a llama... ...and another little llama

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fff

FTC 79: Another Dead Kennedy bites the Dust by lukket 12-11-05

GUESS WHAT, Mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY! OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!! What's the problem? I THOUGHT YOU HATED HIM SINCE THAT TIME HE GOT YOUR SISTER KILLED IN AN ACCIDENT! You forgot one thing about him sweetie. When people say that he's a great politician, THEY AREN'T REFERRING TO HIS QUALIFICATIONS! YOU MEAN!? I DON'T HAVE ROOM FOR HIM IN THE EFFIN' FREEZER!

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troelsea at gmail dot com

I wonder how young hipster Lara7 feels about her forum users "likeness" being used in so many comics as the archetypal mother?

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

FTC 79: I'm still dumb! Horray! by 80_Million_Fleas 12-11-05

GUESS WHAT, Mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY! OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!! Mommy, I'm PREGGANT! And WOOFY'S the daddy! OH, HOW HORRIBLE!!! SOB!!! GOOD EVENING! I'm your male escort! SWEET MOTHER OF CHRIST!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! WHY DOES EVERYTHING BAD HAPPEN TO ME????

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Shame on Us for All We Have Done. May God Have Mercy on Our Dirty Little Hearts.

FTC 79 : The Trooth by finn34 12-11-05

GUESS WHAT, Mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY! OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!! Wait... TED Kennedy? Honestly honey, couldn't you kill someone IMPORTANT?

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

FTC 79: An Optimist. by friendy 12-12-05

GUESS WHAT, Mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY! OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!! Mommy, I'm PREGGANT! And WOOFY'S the daddy! OH, HOW HORRIBLE!!! SOB!!! Well, at least the earth hasn't been taken over by the aliens. Hello there!

FTC 79: Untitled by friendy 12-12-05

GUESS WHAT, Mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY! OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!! Mommy, I'm PREGGANT! And WOOFY'S the daddy! OH, HOW HORRIBLE!!! SOB!! *weep* Mommyyyyyyyyyyy!!! *weep* Well, it wasn't me who said that all this untied shoelace and missing button stuff wasn't funny anymore.

FTC 79 : "A Family Tradition." by friendy 12-12-05

GUESS WHAT, Mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY! OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!! I can't believe you are saying this with awe in your voice! I thought you'd be scared. They can arrest me at any moment! Oh don't worry. If during all those years they still haven't figured out that it was me and grandma who assasinated his brothers...

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Disclaimer: Sorry if some of my comics are offensive to somebody. They are created in a light-hearted mood and aren’t intended to hurt anyone.

What a shitty turn-out for this contest!

Well, thanks to all who have entered. Judging will take place in a day or two. If you have any last minite entries, now is the time to post them!!!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Well, there weren't a lot of entries, but they were all very good. And I hate it when they're all very good, because that makes it harder to judge the contest.

The Truth Award This would really happen

Goes to: drawinger

For the Comic: "Why Drawinger can't win contests"

Most Political

Goes to: cpausti

For the Comic: "Finnish t3h Cawmik"

Funniest Comic to Republicans

Goes to: finn34

For the Comic: "The Trooth"

Funniest Comic to Democrats

Goes to: cpausti

For the Comic: "Finnish t3h Cawmik"

Funniest Comic to Nerds

Goes to: frendy

For the Comic: "An Optimist"

Most Sexual

Goes to: [b]80_Million_Fleas

For the Comic: "I'm still dumb! Horray!"

Most Ironic

Goes to: lukket

For the Comic: "Another Dead Kennedy bites the Dust"

Best Pun

Goes to: Smarmulus

For the Comic: "if a chap should quit, ick"

Funniest Politically Incorrect

Goes to: TheReverend

For the Comic: "She must be coming up the stairs or something."

Most Obscure

Goes to: drawinger

For the Comic: "Why Drawinger can't win contests"

The Tobor AwardFor funniest Inside Joke

Goes to: Smarmulus

For the Comic: "if a chap should quit, ick"

Best Title

Goes to: TheReverend

For the Comic: "She must be coming up the stairs or something."

Bonus Award

Goes to: finn34

For:

FTC 79 : The Trooth by finn34 12-11-05

GUESS WHAT, Mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY! OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!! Wait... TED Kennedy? Honestly honey, couldn't you kill someone IMPORTANT?

Bronze Award of Neatoness

Goes to: 80_Million_Fleas

For the Comic:

FTC 79: I'm still dumb! Horray! by 80_Million_Fleas 12-11-05

GUESS WHAT, Mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY! OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!! Mommy, I'm PREGGANT! And WOOFY'S the daddy! OH, HOW HORRIBLE!!! SOB!!! GOOD EVENING! I'm your male escort! SWEET MOTHER OF CHRIST!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! WHY DOES EVERYTHING BAD HAPPEN TO ME????

Silver Award of Excellence

Goes to: cpausti

For the Comic:

Finnish t3h Cawmik by cpausti 12-10-05

GUESS WHAT, Mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY! OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!! C-SPAN HAS NO COMIC RELIEF!!! Don't worry, Mom! Ted Stevens is still in the Senate! NOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO!!!!

Zinger Award (And the next host of FTC)

Goes to: BigFrank105

For the Comic:

FTC 79: Hot Roasts a Flyin' by BigFrank105 12-11-05

GUESS WHAT, Mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY! OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!! Mommy, I'm PREGGANT! And WOOFY'S the daddy! OH, HOW HORRIBLE!!! SOB!!! MY ROAST! IT'S RUINED!!! Oh, I'm sorry kids. What did you say?

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

BELLY-BONGOS FOR EVERYONE!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I noticed you got irritated with having to swap back and 'fro with the bold tags about halfway through that them there post.

Hey, I'm just sayin' I noticed is all.

Can't harm a fella for a-noticin', now kin yah?

I's reckonin' 'pon fixin' that homesteader place up e'ern from the Halsley joint an' makin' me an' ma a right place to set choo up der and have ahselves a proper time up there, yon the crik aways.

Well woooooo-weee! Br'er rabbih, he got heself in a big mess o trobow dat times, I tells you true. Now, you lookey here, you say "Po' ol' man, gihm some chay', help im out, like deh good sam." Well, I tells yah, you can gih money, yah, but I'll give you somepin in return. Is a bussiness deal, right boy? You want suh weed? Huh? Some coke? Howbout a girl? I kin finna girl to lay with. No? You like men? You one uh dem fairies? I kin suck it good, right sure ree! No? Good, good. I mean, I'd do it for deh money, but I... heh! Well, anyways, Br'er rabbih, he was just a hoppin' up Juniper Bush Alley when along comes a toad by name of Parker Posey, and... where's you going?

What, you got a problem with Parker Posey?

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

I'll get the next FTC up tommorow. Hopefully I can make it a good one.

quote:

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Can't harm a fella for a-noticin', now kin yah?

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Yes!!!! I can administer a million harms for anything that suits me!!!!

HARM, HARM, HARM!!!!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.