I'll get you my pretties, and your little dog, Toto, too!

The other day, I was talking about how much I masturbate and I said, "I've spilled more seed than Monsanto." (Monsanto is an agriculture company among other things).

Also, my favorite line in the movie "Girls Will Be Girls" is when one character asks another if she's had an abortion, and she replies, "I've had more babies pulled out of me than a burning orphanage."

Make a comic using an outrageous analogy. Judging will be in two hours.

Officer Roget on Patrol by kaufman 2-17-06

What's your name, ma'am? Sally-Ann. Sally-Ann Alogy. Well, Miss Alogy, do you know how fast you were going? You were swifter than Gulliver's Travels. Speedier than a thriving meth lab... Faster than a convention of supermodels. More fleet than the Royal Navy. Rapider than asiangirl2... Hastier than a giant statue of a castrated bull made out of dried grass. Quicker than ... I think I get the idea.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

The Dick In You by LuckyGuess 2-17-06

Daddy, are you gay? Yes, sweetie. I am. I've been sleeping with Boyd from legal, Harold from management, and Tim from the copy room. Not to mention the entire Junior High football team. In fact, I've had more dicks in me than your mother.

---
the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

ICC 28: Big Band Theory

Gosh, Mr. Leopold Stokowsky, how many musicians are in your symphony orchestra? More than you can shake a stick at!

by Namgubed, 2-17-06

---
"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

ICC 28: Cheep Shot

... and in today's political news, Vice President Dick Cheney is forced to admit that his shotgun has killed more chicks than Ted kennedy's car.

by Namgubed, 2-17-06

---
"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

I have to run to the store for a bit, so judging is delayed...in the meantime, enjoy my non-entries...

Hostess With The Mostess by choadwarrior 2-17-06

Are you a Ho-Ho? I sure am, Cup Cake. Can I eat your Fruit Pie? You can slap me around and call me Suzy Q, for the right price. Would you Sno-Ball me? I've sucked more Ding Dongs than Twinkie the Kid.

Bone Appetite by choadwarrior 2-17-06

We're having macaroni and cheese tonight. Again? Yes, again. Will you slice up hot dogs in it? Of course. You must have cut more wieners than Rabbi Schwartz.

Germination by choadwarrior 2-17-06

Are you pure? Pure something. Do you commit the sin of masturbation? Are you kidding? I've spilled more seed than Monsanto.

Dig This by choadwarrior 2-17-06

Stunning. I've laid more cable than Time-Warner.

ICC 28: Not-so-happy camper by lukket 2-17-06

... so, what's your story? Well... I suffered from excessive flatulence and went to the doctor. Did he say you were dying? Well, said to him: "I've got more gas than a Nazi concentration camp", and he looked very upset. Why? Well, I think it's maybe because he's Jewish.

---
troelsea at gmail dot com

ICC 28: Blame Game Over

... and former FEMA director Robert Brown points the finger at the Dept of Homeland Security in an excuse that can only be described as being less water-tight than New Orleans.

by Namgubed, 2-17-06

---
"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

Dr. Kaufman continues his streak of comic contest domination. The "faster than a convention of supermodels" line clinched it.