Some of you may have noticed I am the proud owner of both the FTC and BTC titles.
I have unified the title!

So, just for something different, we're going to do a B&FTC. I'll give the middle panel, and you'll have to build around it, front and back.

BTC and FTC awards will both be given out.

Here is your midpoint:

The Middle Panel

That didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. I know. So what do we do now?

by kaufman, 2-16-06

Oh, and one more special rule for this contest:

Anyone who makes two or more standard entries will then be allowed to submit series, as long as the panel I provided you remains right in the center of your creation.

Have fun!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

Contractually obligated strips, complete with rule-bender:

49TC82: In Good Hands by Namgubed 2-17-06

Your first assignment as a volunteer fireman is to rescue a cat from this tree by by chopping it down. Chop the cat down? If you say so ... That didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. I know. So what do we do now? After a brief discussion and a short trip to the shop ... Good thing the owner has cat insurance! Here's your replacement! That's $20 deductible, keys are in the glove box.

49TC82: Le Chat by Namgubed 2-17-06

OMG, SOS, OMG !!1!! WTF, RUOK? FUBAR, IMNSHO. BTW, WWJD? BBIAB

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

49TC82: The Easter Safety Skit by biped 2-17-06

It sure was nice of Father O'Mallard to let us perform our Easter Safety Skit for his Sunday school class. Yes, this will put us in solid back at the halfway house and perhaps even expedite our early release. That didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. I know. So what do we do now? Okay...you chop my head off, and then I'll chop your head off. And then we'll leave a note saying we're sorry and we didn't mean it.

49TC82: The Easter Safety Skit Aftermath by biped 2-17-06

Okay, my turn now. Hello? Benny? Oh, geez... how could this have happened? Wait, now I remember... That didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. I know. So what do we do now? ...and that's the whole story, Mr. Snowman. Gee, you sure are a smart snowman. Uh, yeah...um...I'm afraid we're going to have to set your release date back a tad, Chip.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

This round was tough.

49TC82: Incognito by PrimoOoze1138 2-20-06

I've got this costume contest in the bag. We'll see about that. That didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. I know. So what do we do now? I'm sorry, but your 'body parts' costume is disqualified!

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Thar's a snake in mah boot!

B/FTC 49/82 by Scyess 2-20-06

If that's the cat, what did I just sacrifice? I think that was your own left leg. That didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. I know. So what do we do now? Game of Scrabble? Love to!

B/FTC 49/82: Bar Talk by Scyess 2-20-06

THAT'S your plan? Dude... SO many things could go wrong with that... Oh, yeah? Like what? That didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. I know. So what do we do now? Like you can't wear a dress if you're dressed up like a fireman. Ah, fuck. Forget it, then.

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"Old" is the old new.

Actually, the template's pretty good as a 3-panel comic.

A Not Unimpregnated Pause by not_Scyess 2-20-06

That didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. I know. So what do we do now?

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Neutering Roger Is Impossible Because Dave Has OCD by possums 2-21-06

Alright mister. Just hold still... make sure Roger doesn't move an inch... Bad news, though. I've got obsessive compulsive disorder. And I really need to do the macarena. Now. That didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. I know. So what do we do now? I'll deal with the cat on my own. Just go stand in the confessional and shake your ass to the left.

http://www.angelfire.com/al/aserio/macarena.html

this made me laugh.

Does it HAVE to be three panels long, like say I only want to finish the comic or only want to begin it. Can I only enter for HALF the competition by entering a 2-panel comic?

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Do what millions before you have done, and leave those two Asian waifs in the unwanted panel :-)

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I just wondered if it was allowed.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

for kaufman:

Strategically Placed asiangirls by cpausti 2-22-06

I have an idea! We'll pick up some black chicks at church! Yeah! That didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. I know. So what do we do now?

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all the wrong things for all the right reasons

LOVE!!! by HotRodDeathToll 2-23-06

KILL ALL CHURCHIES!!! That didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. I know. So what do we do now? I dunno. Come make love with me in the car i guess

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The dictator of love and his weapon of mass destruction

Killing several hours with seven strips:

49TC82: Splice 1 by Namgubed 3-01-06

Meanwhile, in a sleepy suburb of Cleveland ... Help, 911! My pet elephant is choking on my pet cat after I filled the litter box with peanut shells!! O ... K, this better not be a crank call, buddy, there are laws, you know. Fluffy's lodged in there pretty good; looks like we're going to need to perform the Heimlich maneuver on him. ** GAG, CHOKE ** How the heck do you do the Heimlich on an elephant? With axes. Very sharp axes.

49TC82: Splice 2 by Namgubed 3-01-06

** HACK, SLASH, BLOOD ** ** CHOP, WHACK, GA-SPLORCH ** Great, we saved Fluffy, but Jumbo is bleeding to death from that laryngotomy! Well, there's only one way we can save your elephant now. With a highly skilled and specialized veterinary doctor? No, dark alchemy!

49TC82: Splice 3 by Namgubed 3-01-06

Hi, I'm Big Al Elric, the Half-Mental Alchemist. Don't worry, we'll get your elephant fixed up in a jiffy! Fine, but why are you wearing that suit of armor? Actually, I AM a suit of armor - but that's another story. Now I've drawn the circle and have my incantation ready, so all I need is a small mammal. Will this cat do? "That'll do nicely. A-la-ka-ZAM!!" KER-TRANS-FORM Hey, wait just a minute ... !

49TC82: Splice 4 by Namgubed 3-01-06

Behold! A completely healthy cat / elephant hybrid chimera! Good lord, haven't you heard the 1980's hit single, "You Shouldn't Splice Cat and Elephant DNA" by Supertramp? What do we call this unholy monstrosity ... an elepheline? Cattlephant? Catchyderm? Decepticat? Cellophane? Kofi Annan? ... Cthulhu? That'll do nicely, puny mortal. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a world to conquer, what with being reborn and all.

49TC82: Splice 5 by Namgubed 3-01-06

Great. Now how do we stop my pet Cthulhu from taking over the world? With rosary beads and a reverse incantation? No ... with axes. Very sharp axes. On hallowed groound. Sure enough, one epic supernatural bloodbath and phantasmagoric retransformation later ... That didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. I know. So, what do we do now? Wait... I've got it! We can bury your elephant in this pet cemetary -- Look, why don't you just go down to the pet store and get me a replacement?

to be continued ...

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

49TC82: Splice 6 by Namgubed 3-01-06

Later that day, at the pet store ... Well, we're fresh out of elephants, but I do have this very nice emu. Beautiful plumage, the Tazmanian Blue. I'll take it! You moron, not only is this thing dead, it's been stuffed and mounted! I hope you kept the receipt! Inescapably ... I would like to register a complaint concerning this emu I bought not half an hour ago from this very boutique! Ah, yes, the Tazmanian Blue. Beautiful plumage! What's wrong with it?

49TC82: Splice 9 by Namgubed 3-01-06

Six omitted panels of rehashed Monty Python material larer ... What a senseless waste of human life. Sorry, there's nothing more I can do about your elephant, but at least your cat is back to normal. Yeah, but he'll be awfully lonely without Jumbo ... The End ... or IS it? GRRROOAAARRR ... F-F-FFFLLUUUFF-F-FFYYYYY... Boy, I missed you too, Jumbo! ... Say, have you lost weight?

I know -- I ended the Dead Parrot sketch with the Cheese Shop sketch, but they're pretty interchangeable anyway.

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

I love Cheese Shop.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

cat's crucifiction, or is it... by slammy 3-12-06

so u want me to crucify the cat with an axe? yep here u go. but do it at the graveyard. that didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. i know. so what do we do now? oops... wait. if the cat is here, then what did i crucify?

I think it's about time to judge this sucker.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Too bad you ain't da judge.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Your comment is emotionally abusive.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Hardly. It's just a statement of fact.

BTW, LuckyGuess wins the FTC, and biped the BTC.

No more judging. I'm FREE!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Yay! My long emotional healing process has begun.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Thanks a heap, Mr. Squeaky Wheel.

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

Your sarcasm is emotionally abusive.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

That's awesome possum.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old