Inspired by every nutcase teacher I've ever had, this WW should bring back some long-suppressed memories.

So, give me the World's Worst homework assignments. Anything is allowed; pointless tasks, sodomy, quantum mechanics, etc.

Bonus points for whoever manages to inadvertently recreate an actual assignment I've had.

Judging is when I get enough entries to make it worthwhile. Cause otherwise I'm just going to have to throw darts and whoever yells "ouch" first wins.

Thanks for making me remember the worst year of my life.

WW #43: Fifth Grade by PrimoOoze1138 3-01-06

The assignment: Take a state of your choice and give me EVERY SINGLE STATISTIC ABOUT IT. The state rock of Nevada is sandstone. Why could that be? Maybe because there's so goddamn much of it?! So there's, like, 49,702 miles of road in Nevada. Oh, yeah? That number's probably changed since you looked it up. I'll have to count off for that. And finally, there are approximately 215 nurses working in Nevada. Good, you'll need every single one of them after I beat you senseless, because I'M A DIABETIC!

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Thar's a snake in mah boot!

Real assignments I had:

Full Service Screenplay by LuckyGuess 3-01-06

Our next theater project will be writing your own musical. It has to have three songs and be less than fifteen minutes long. You have two weeks to write, memorize, and block it. You do understand that we can't actually have a plot under those guidelines, right? Oh, you'll have a plot. A good plot. Because if you don't I'll fail you and your entire troupe. I'm going to go leave the class unsupervised for 45 minutes while I eat donuts now, so get to work. Neat. So let me get this straight... you urinated in her gas tank? No, it was full service.

Medal of Honor by LuckyGuess 3-01-06

Class, your Final is going to be writing original summaries of twenty servicemen who recieved the medal of honor. How are we going to find this information? I will provide you with a web page that not only has background information on all winners of the award, but perfect summaries for each that you can't copy from but have to use in your own summaries. Sounds fair. I will also be scanning each and every word of your summaries, and so help me God if I find as much as a hint of plagiarism you fail. This is due tommorrow.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

WW 43: Billy Learns Tolerance by biped 3-02-06

Your homework assignment is to engage in oral and anal sex with one or more members of your own gender. WHAT THE FUCK?!? Why do we have to do that, Miss Gestation Period? There is too much intolerance, and this will teach you little bastards to better understand homosexuality. This is the worst fucking Boys' Orientation class EVER!!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I -- GO HOME AND SUCK DICK AND LICK BALLS, BILLY!!! AND DO ANAL FUCKING!!! SO YOU WILL UNDERSTAND GAYNESS!!! WHY DON'T YOU SUCK MY BALLS, YOU FUCKING LESBIAN!!!

WW 43: Billy Learns Tolerance 2 by biped 3-02-06

Your homework assignment for tonight is to commit suicide. Well, shit. I guess this is supposed to teach us to understand suicidal people better, huh Mrs. Dickenpuss? Well, that, and also to weed out some of you worthless little fuckfaces. Why, you fucking BITCH! You'd better watch your back, old lady -- Next day... Well? What about your homework assignment? Uhh, my dog ate -- my gun.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

WW 43: My Dog Didn't Eat My Homework by kaufman 3-02-06

What a horrible, pointless assignment. Doesn't Teach know it'll lead to nothing but pain and misery, and be a big waste of time? Oh well, you asked for it. I've put this off long enough. Only got a week to finish the fucker. Might as well go ahead and start. But don't blame me if it comes out bad. Let there be light ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Baby! by LuckyGuess 3-02-06

Today your assignment is to eat a baby. Extra points for eating it in front of it's parents. Can we use silverware? This thing doesn't look very appetizing. Goo. Where's my baby?! You have delicious genetics.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

WW #43: Pre-school Prodigies by PrimoOoze1138 3-02-06

Mozart composed his first piece when he was five. Get to work. i gotta go tinkle

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Thar's a snake in mah boot!

Elf Life 2½ by Namgubed 3-03-06

Meanwhile, back in the 6th grade... Each group will write a play based on a popular fairy tale, and then act it out for the rest of the class in the auditorium. We've picked "The Shoemaker and the Elves." There are no girls in your group, so you'll have to play the shoemaker's wife. You're gay, aren't you? Now that you have money, honey, can I buy a new dress? No ?!?! ...Well, you can KISS MY GRITS! Oh boy, an "Alice" reference. YOU SUCK!!

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

WW-divine U

GO TO HELL! maaaaaaan

by xxausrottenxx, 3-05-06

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xx( o Y o. )xx

i hate english! by slammy 3-12-06

this seriously happened... so what do we have for homeowrk today? i want u to finish the rest of the grammar book. (threehundredproblems) ... mother fucker

I had a hard time deciding between two finalists, but I have to say the winner for WW42 is...

D

R

U

M

R

O

L

L

LuckyGuess!

I couldn't decide between "Medal of Honor" and kaufman's "My Dog Didn't Eat My Homework," so I had to base my decision on bonus points. Since I have yet to create a universe, LuckyGuess's is actually eerily close to a homework assignment I had in 5th grade science class. With the teacher who pronounced "lichen" like "litch-in."

Pretend I wasn't being a moron and said WW43 rather than WW42. I just really like the number 42.

(:D
Thank you, 10th grade World History!

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old