The first in our special guests for the barnstorming tour is LuckyGuess. He was one of the first people I had in mind whe I thought of guest stars and he didn't dissapoint with this series. Great times all around. The tour is back in full GEAR!

Keep watching for more guest stars.

Sales Pitch by LuckyGuess 3-13-06

I've decided to market my Jesus video game. I'm not familiar with the concept. You control Jesus as he fights the Axis powers during World War 2, and you can power him up with laser vision and fire breath. How are you going to market it? I dunno. Something like, "Jesus Saves Your Ass From The Nazis With Laser Vision And Fire Breath." I think we have a winner.

Sales Pitch 2 by crabby 3-13-06

We're back on the G4 chanel, the shitty chnnel completely dedicated to video games. We're LIVE with the creator of Jesus Saves Your Ass From The Nazis With Laser Vision And Fire Breath. It's an honor to be on your show. Whjy don't you tell us how you got the idea? I felt we needed a new take of Jesus and I felt I was the only man hip enough to make Jesus cool. So what do you have planned for the follow up? How do I explain that I'm too filled with self doubt and anxiety and that I have no ideas whatsoever?

Sales Pitch 3 by LuckyGuess 3-13-06

How did the G4 spot go? Terrible. I was too full of anxiety and self doubt to effectively market the game. Then I got so nervous I pissed myself. It smelled like asparagus. I forget why I'm a part of this. I also added Asparagus Piss as one of Jesus's special power-ups. It's awesome.

Sales Pitch 4 by crabby 3-13-06

Being friends with you is like being friends with MAD magzine, its nothing but dick, fart and jesus jokes with you. I'm really sorry. *FART*

Sales Pitch 5 by LuckyGuess 3-13-06

I just signed advertising contracts with MTV, Nickolodeon, and Disney. They made some changes to the game, didn't they? Well, the title changed. What's it called? Jesus, Flava Flav, SpongeBob SquarePants, and Hillary Duff's Disembodied Vagina Save Your Ass From the Nazis With Laser Vision and Fire Breath. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Sales Pitch 6 by crabby 3-13-06

You know, I wasn;t always a complete piece of shit. Really what happened? Well....her name was Angela and she smelled like bannana's. If you put your cock in ice water for 35 minutes straight, then I'll give you a kiss on the cheek. Ok.

Sales Pitch 7 by LuckyGuess 3-13-06

Oh, God! I'm such a failure! I couldn't market my game, and my penis is shriveled and dead from prolonged exposure to ice water! I'm just going to kill myself! Do we have any angels left to show this kid his life is worth living? No. Well, I take that back. crabby? Where'd you come from? Fuckin Jesus.

Sales Pitch 8 by crabby 3-13-06

After a long pointless pep talk.... Thats why you gotta make sure you get your yearly physical and make sure you follow the five food groups. Yeah, I really need to step up and be a man about this. Perhaps a wine tsting game with some sort of new peripheral controller to use? But how to incorporate Jesus? You could call it Jesus Juice and have the player control Jesus. Tender, yet forceful.

Sales Pitch 9 by LuckyGuess 3-13-06

We're back on the G4 chanel, the shitty channel completely dedicated to video games. We're LIVE with the creator of Wine Tasters Jesus Xtreme Party May Cry: Tales of the Gutter. The honor sort of goes away after the first time, but it's okay to be here as long as your boobs are kind of showing. Is it true that you have incorporated new elements into this game using the advice of an angel sent from God? Yes it is. In fact, he's playing the game in the testing studio now. So right now you're tasting wine as Hillary Duff's disembodied vagina? This room smells like cheese balls and wasted lives.

Sales Pitch 10 by crabby 3-13-06

Dude, did you play that new wine tasting game? Not yet how is it? It sucks dude, jesus is so fucking lame. I think it might be the queerest game I've ever played. The faggots who created make me sick. What makes you think Jesus is queer? He spends all day on top of wood. HOLY SHIT DUDE!!!!!!

Sales Pitch 11 by LuckyGuess 3-13-06

Dad, you said we could play ball today. Later. You haven't payed any attention to me since you bought that new wine tasting game. What a whiner. And to think I believed that dying for humanity's sins would give this idiot a backbone. Sometimes I think you love that game more than you love me. Whoa! I just unlocked Flava Flav!

Sales Pitch 12 by crabby 3-13-06

In other news, the hot new wine tasting game is all the rage, we'll tell you why your kids love it...after these messages. They like it cause its mildy offensive. And how!

Hillary Duff's disembodied vagina would approve, as do I

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The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

"Whoa! I just unlocked Flava Flav!"

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.