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biped 
Mr. Wonderful
Member Rated:
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| Captain Chip, can I be your youthful sidekick? | |
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| Oh, heavens, NO, Billy! You see, the concept of the "youthful sidekick" is seen these days as rather...well, uh, heh-heh...er... | |
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| "As rather" what, Captain Chip? | |
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| Well, uh...as rather...er..."gay." And not just "gay", but suspiciously pedo--pedophi--oh, what's that word... | |
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| But, didn't "Captain Wanker" have a youthful sidekick in all those gay porn videos that you-- | |
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| Yes! YES! But Tom Byron was actually in his FORTIES when he played "Whack-off Lad"! | |
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| STOP RIGHT THERE, evildoers! Face the mighty justice of CAPTAIN CHIP! | |
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| And his youthful sidekick, BLUE BOY! | |
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| What--what the heck are you doing, Billy? Didn't I tell you-- | |
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| Shhh! Don't call me "Billy"! You'll give away BLUE BOY'S secret identity! | |
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| What the hell's wrong with you, putting a 12-year-old kid in danger like that? Not to mention the weird sexual vibe your bizarre "pairing" gives off... | |
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| But--but I didn't--but I told him--oh, FUCK YOU! | |
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| ...and then, Your Honor, the child-endangering gay pedophile hurled the "F-bomb" at me. (sniff) | |
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| I was UNDER DURESS, Your Honor! | |
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| Billy, did this--this MONSTER--compel you to do anything involving your...you know..."secret place"? | |
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| (Ulp--he must be talking about Blue Boy's SECRET LAIR!) Only CAPTAIN CHIP gets to see my "secret place", mister! And touch it! And go in and out of it! And-- | |
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| Thanks for "helping", Billy, but SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! | |
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| "Shut the fuck up"? That must be SUPERHERO SECRET CODE! COOL!!! | |
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| Billy, you're making it difficult for me to comply with the restraining order. I'm not supposed to be within fifty miles of you. | |
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| Okay, Captain Chip. You fight crime here, and I'll go fight crime on the north side of town. NORTH SIDE, YEAH!!! | |
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| What a huge foul-up! "Youthful sidekick"...BLAH! I'll never-- | |
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| Captain Chip--may I be your youthful sidekick, please? | |
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| ...and later, we'll get you into a sexy, er, super costume, and I'll show you my "secret place", Blowjob Girl! I mean, BLONDE JUSTICE GIRL! Heh-heh! | |
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| HOLY GOOSEBUMPS, CAPTAIN CHIP! | |
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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.
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