Upgrading #1 by TheGovernor 11-14-06

What have you got there? It's the new Carrot Vista It just looks like an ordinary carrot Trust me its much better How so? Have they sprayed it with pestisides or something to keep more of the bugs out? No, that's extra, but it does come in six flavours, and it's so shiney!

Upgrading #2 by TheGovernor 11-14-06

So how come the farmer's made six flavours of carrot then? Surely one is enough? A carrot is a carrot no? Well they are all different, this one for example comes with a smiley face drawn on the side to make you feel happy while you eat it Does that cost extra? Well yes, but Farmer Gates thinks people will gladly pay that little bit more for such a fun carrot experience So what about the cheapest one? You mean the Basic Vista Carrot? Well thats just an ordinary carrot with the leaves trimmed.

Upgrading #3 by TheGovernor 11-14-06

I still don't see the point in eating new carrots when the old ones will do fine, and are actually tasting quite nice at the moment. Well here try one, you may find you like it Hmm, it's a lot harder to eat, and a little bit too crunchy on the teeth Yeah, but isn't the smiley face worth it? Besides they're made for younger fitter rabbits who can handle them better, and you wouldn't want to be left behind would you? Well I could always switch to Potatos Ive heard they are very versatile, and come in all shapes and sizes to suit Yes, but for a dedicated carrot eater such as yourself you may find them very difficult to prepare.

Upgrading #4 by TheGovernor 11-14-06

Well what about parsnips then? They're very carrot like, and they taste great, and all the cool animals eat them, plus they don't get eaten by as many bugs as carrots Yeah but the new Carrot Vista looks a lot like a parsnip but in a carrot instead, besides parsnips are weird, and you're a rabbit, and wouln't want to be labelled a parsnip eater would you? Well no, but Ive seen some badgers eating both Carrots and Parsnips at the same time, and they seemed really happy But thats only because they secretly prefer to eat carrots due to the inflexibility of parsnips when eaten every day Well I still don't see why I should eat Vista Carrots instead of ordinary carrots Well sooner or later you'll have no choice because Farmer Gates will stop watering ordinary carrots so they'll go off quicker and have more insects eating them

Upgrading #5 by TheGovernor 11-14-06

six months later... Well, I went to the dentist and had my teeth sharpened, and to the gym to get into better shape and so I think Im ready to move on to Vista Carrots now Great I knew you'd come round, but you're going to have to prove you're a Genuine Rabbit before you can have one Why do I need to do that? Well the Farmer's worried about wolves taking his carrots and giving them to non rabbits, so he needs to keep track of all the rabbits he gives them to So how do I prove Im a Genuine Rabbit? Simple, just go to Farmer Gates field once a day and jump about for a bit, and after he's branded you with a hot iron he'll give you a carrot

Upgrading #6 by TheGovernor 11-14-06

I got my Vista Carrot, and the smiley face is nice, but my brand mark on my leg is a bit sore and it does just taste like an ordinary carrot. Well what did you expect, it was hardly going to tastle like a banana was it? You're right, and it is a lot brigher than ordinary carrots That will be the orange paint So what you're saying is its just an ordinary carrot thats been painted bright orange and has a smiley face drawn on it, that I have to go to the farmers field every day to recieve? Pretty much, but just be thankful its not a parsnip!

is this something about computers? because i distrust them and their kind. always getting in the way of my internets!

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

I think you might be good at writing children's books.  Not the crappy ones, but the good ones that are fun for grownups to read, too.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

i like metaphors that denigrate the uber wealthy.

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Kill Whitey.

YES! YES! YESSSSS!

Oh, and good comics.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

I really, really like these.