both scrooges are rich, but only one has the cajones to stare down a shotgun...

Bill Murray wins

who would win :

The Sopranos cast vs. The Wire cast

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

Omar could jack the entire cast of the Sopranos by himself.

Ferris Wheel vs. Ferris Bueller

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Ferris wheels can't command the "OH YEAH" (bom bom) soundtrack to play in your head.  And they rarely ever have a day off.  So Beuller wins.

 sushi vs gifilte fish

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Jews have a history of being persecuted; I'm pretty sure it would be easy to do the same for their food. Thus sushi wins.

Literature vs. Text Messaging

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

melville3258: Call me Ishmael.

cutiepie69: OMFG! r u gay?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

gabe_billings

literature hereby wins!

bill o'reilly vs. keith olbermann - no holds barred cage deathmatch

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

Bill O'Reilly would lose in a contest against a dingleberry off of my ass.

Mr. Salty vs. Mr. Peanut

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

According to Google Fight, Mr Peanut edges it and who am I to argue with google? Plus Peanuts kill more people than salt and so that makes Mr Peanut a mass murderer.

Mr T. vs A cup of tea

Mr T might not be able to tolerate fools or jibber jabber, but tea plants can take on the poison of any deadly substance around them, rendering the drinker very dead. And tea was never the star of a bad 80's Saturday morning cartoon. Mass murdering liquid wins.

Plato or Aristotle?

One could say that Western civilization is based off of the ideas in Plato's Republic. Thus, Plato is indirectly resposible for G.W. Bush in office.

Aristotle Wins.

Retarded paraplegic rhesus monkey vs. Dan Quayle.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

even a retarded quadriplegic rhesus monkey beats quayle by 3 lengths.

big brother or the man?

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what if nigger meant kite

Big brother beats you up but the man is Shaft, a badass muthafucka. Shaft ftw.

Puppies shot out of a potato cannon or cows slung by a trebuchet?

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Puppies might liquify and get stuck in the barrels. I'm gonna have to go with cows.

Curious George or King Kong?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Curious George. A movie about bestiality has got to be better than the piece of shit King Kong remake that was so boring I actually wished the dinosaurs would stop eating people and fighting giant apes.

Furries or Mother Nature?

Furries are an abomination unto Mother Nature. Besides, she gave Superted his special powers.

Blondie the cartoon strip or Blondie the New Wave Punk Band?

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

jes_lawson

Debbie Harry would punch your balls off if she read that. Thus, the win.

Bruce Campbell

vs. Joe Pantoliano

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

Since Joe Pantoliano can't seem to overcome Tripod, I'd have to say Campbell wins this round.

Mark Hamill

[IMG]http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c12/ivytheplant/BTAS_joker.jpg[/IMG]

or

Mark Hamill

[IMG]http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c12/ivytheplant/trickster.jpg[/IMG]

Definitely the first one. He has style.

Rent, the musical, vs. Rent, what you pay each month.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Rent the musical.

AIDS AIDS AIDS!

Speaking of which: HIV vs. Ebola

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Ebola. Totally.

AIDS wastes you away slowly and exspensively, allowing you to say your proper goodbyes and regret your risky lifestyle.

Ebola just eats your motherfucking flesh. Fast. Leaving you little time to prepare to die.

Frost or Keats?

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Kill Whitey.

keats. frost won some awards, but keats had the real live shit.

Meatloaf the singer vs. Meatloaf the meal?

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

After I ate my Grandma's meatloaf, I ran to the bathroom like a bat out of hell. Meat Loaf the singer FTW.

And as long as we're on the topic of bands/singers...

Air Supply or the world's Oil Supply?

Until they make an alternative-fuel vehicle that runs on washed up 70s rockers, I'm going with oil.

Pistol whip or Cool Whip?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

A pistol whip just right can kill someone, but Cool Whip in the can sprayed up someone's nose can kill them as well and it makes them look like a death by bukkake.

Jaws the shark Or Jaws the Bond villain?

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Jaws the shark may have been inmore sequals, but Jaws the Villian gets laid in his sequal. So Bond Villian SCORES!

 

New Supergirl with attitude and freakishly long midrift or old Supergirl with well hid midrift and perkier breasts?

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Insert Theme to Mannix here