C'mon... that's a gimmy. Buckaroo Banzai beat him at his own game. Out-modding the Mod.

Peter Weller wins.

oscillation overthruster vs. flux capacitor

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

Through a mountain...or through time?

Hmmm...I say 1.21  gigawatts! Great Scott!

Professor Emmett Brown with a knife or Reverend Jim Ignatowski with a lead pipe?

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Insert Theme to Mannix here

although i've never heard of either of those people, i'd rather have the lead pipe for sheer cranial trauma.

so, dude with the lead pipe FTW

William Wallace of Rob Roy?

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Kill Whitey.

William Wallace

2 shots Scotch
1 cup Cold Spring Water
3 cubes Ice
1 shot Seltzer
2 pieces Jolly Ranchers


RobRoy

1 1/2 oz Scotch

3/4 oz Sweet Vermouth

1 Dash Angostura Bitters

1 Maraschino Cherry


Jolly Ranchers in my cocktail!?!

Rob Roy for the win


Tiki Bar vs. Sports Bar

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

Sports bars have greasy food where everything is deep-fried beyond recognition.  So do Tiki bars, but they are 400% more like to have women in bikinis.  Tiki bars all the way!

Count Chocula vs the Lucky Charms lepruchaun

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

That Lucky Charms leprachaun could use his legions of child slaved as a distraction before smashing his opponents skull in with his pot of gold. Count Chocula is vaguely related to Count Dracula who was in a terrible, terrible, film with Keanu Reeves. Anything associated with Keanu Reeves is automatically ass, therefore Chocula is utter ass by association. Plus that Leprachaun would probably use his IRA connections to blow up the count.

Right vs. Wrong

Wrong feels better initially, but in my experience will show up sometime later to anally rape you with a rusty salted pry bar covered in sandy lemon juice.

Right not only doesn't give you the warm fuzzy of having gotten away with something, but also always instills a sense of self-righteousness into holier-than-thou pricks who use the opportunity hold it over your head much longer than is appropriate.

Wrong ftw. 

Whole milk vs 1/2% milk

whole milk FTW. you can't make a proper batch of brownies without it.

MC Chris vs. MC Frontalot

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

Never heard of em', so I say MC Hammer.

Hamburglar or Cookie Monster?

um... cookieburgler

Humpenstein vs. Google

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

1 - 10 of about 946 for humpenstein. (0.57 seconds)

1 - 10 of about 818,000,000 for google. (0.13 seconds)

River Phoenix or Phoenix, Arizona?

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

pheonix arizona is still alive! (cities and states can't overdose)

next up :

Neil Hamburger vs. A hamburger

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

Hamburger - America's most beloved food

Neil Hamburger - America's least beloved commedian

Although my personal tastes would choose othwerwise, I have to give the win to the Hamburger.

Lettuce and tomato vs. bacon and bleu cheese

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

if you can't spell blue right, you don't deserve to eat.

advantage lettuce and tomato.

MST3k with Joel vs. MST3k with Mike

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

Joel built a homemade rocketship to get home, whereas Mike just had to tough it out for a couple years until the satellite fell from the sky on its own.

Mike ftw, since Joel wasted effort.

Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones or Harrison Ford as Han Solo?

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Harrison Ford as Han Solo would shoot first.

Lincoln, because skinny guys fight til they're burger.

Amanaman or Bananaman?

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Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.

amanaman. the arms are a 'slam dunk'.

jason kidd vs. hello kitty?

Hello Kitty has rabid fans who would destroy all resistance.

Actor/Presidential candidate Fred Thompson or debarred anti-videogame lawyer Jack Thompson?

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Fred Thompson:  since he can hone his fighting skills by playing Grand Theft Auto ]|[ for eight hours a day if he wants to.

The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters v.s. the Jolly Green Giant?

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Jolly Green Giant. Stay Puft might be sticky, but have you ever smelled day old broccoli? It's like green death kicking you in the balls.

Superman, the Man of Steel or Superman or a kid in New Zealand who was officially named Superman

Superman, the Man of Zeal

Brendlefly or BrendleToblerone?

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what if nigger meant kite

Brendlefly, since according to Google the other does not exist.

Chinese food with no cat meat but containing MSG or Chinese food with no MSG but probably nothing but cat meat?

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

meat is meat. who cares. especially if you think its something else.

chinese devoid of MSG but chock full o'kitty FTW

 

absinthe or mushrooms?

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Kill Whitey.

Mushrooms. There's little evidence to support that absinthe is as much of a hallucinogen as people would like to think.

Captain Hook or Captain Planet?