Biff McGurk in: "Grammy Whammy" by biped 3-27-07

Remember that hit song, "Unbreak My Heart"? Well, I just wrote one called "Unrape My Dog." Let's get into the studio, pronto. I think we've got another smash hit on our hands. And the Grammy for "Song of the Year" goes to--Biff McGurk for "Unrape My Dog"! Thanks, Tiffany. And thanks to all the fans who made "Unrape My Dog" a number-one hit. Well, Biff? How does it feel to win a Grammy? It feels great, Ed. I've never had a more satisfying butt plug.

Biff McGurk in: "The Deadly Deadline" by biped 3-27-07

Biff, you're so naturally even-tempered. I don't think I've ever seen you get unduly nervous or tense. Well, I always try to remain calm and maintain an even keel in my life, Hubert. Uh-huh. Well, I've just kidnapped your entire family. A timed explosive will wipe them all out if you don't pay me $100,000 by three o'clock. "Stifle it, Archie! Stifle, stifle, STIFLE!" Ha ha, Edith is turning the tables on Archie by telling him to--oops, three oh-five.

Biff McGurk in: "Steal Now, Pay Later" by biped 3-27-07

I just stole a bunch of luggage from the airport. Let's go through it and see what we can find. Hmm...that's against the law, Dave. But since you're going to do it anyway, I might as well participate. This inflatable dog-on-ball I found in that suitcase is awesome. I'm sure glad Dave stole all that luggage. I see here that you once took part in an airport luggage theft. The penalty for that is an extra 50,000,000,000 years in purgatory. Wow. And to think that inflatable dog-on-ball only lasted for a day and a half before it popped.

Biff McGurk in: "All's Hell That Ends Hell" by biped 3-27-07

Sorry about your being stuck here in purgatory, Biff. I can't help but think it's partly my fault. "Partly"? It's completely your fault, you motherfucking asshole. Sorry Biff, but those blatant swear words just earned you a one-way ticket to Hell. Oh, FU--I mean, shucks. Well, you've been here for 10,000,000,000 years, Biff. How do you like it so far? Well, to tell you the truth, the hot-poker assrapes took a few eons to get used to.

Biff McGurk in: "Little Big Mouth" by biped 3-27-07

Well Biff, you finally made it through purgatory, with a detour in Hell, and into Paradise. How does it feel? Oh man, it feels fan-fucking-tas-- ...FUCK. 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 years later... It feels really... swell.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I want to be Biff McGurk

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I want to be in Biff McGurk.

Wait, what?

great comics Biped. tell your neighbor i said to give you a blowjob.

and if he/she doesn't like that they can take it up with me. you deserve it.

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Kill Whitey.

great comics Biped. tell your neighbor i said to give you a blowjob.

and if he/she doesn't like that they can take it up with me. you deserve it.

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Kill Whitey.

yeah, twice!

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Kill Whitey.

Thanks for the idea!  I never realized that he was just waiting for me to ask.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Shaky Leg Syndrome. by ArtemisStrong 4-27-07

I just made some mildly amusing comics online. I'll go get the chapstick. Awesom- HEY, wait... Don't you mean Vaseline? I like Vaseline mouthsex. Fine, fine...

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

This comic is a fitting end to my Biff McGurk series.  And fitting ends requires plenty of Vaseline.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.