Here are a few things I've learned so far during my visit upon Planet Earth. Feel free to share your own...

01) Even though it may seem like she's asking for it directly, a woman doesn't really want a man's advice on how to fix her problem(s). She just wants him to listen and empathize.

02) You can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd.

03) Money may not buy happiness, but it can obtain some damn fine substitutes.

04) When in doubt, add dijon mustard.

05) I certainly don't mean to pick on one of my favorite strippers, but when your comics look like this 

Champ the lake monster by mandingo 7-07-07

greetings, i am Loren Coleman, eminent cryptozoologist and you, my hiding Plesiosaur, have been found damn! i've been found! one thing though... you're drinking coffee and breathing under water while i'm a Plesiosaur walking upright on the lake's bottom wearing a top hat and? okay, how bout this. you used the phrase "eminent cryptozoologist" and i didn't give you even an ounce of shit fuck, i'm dreaming. bingo.

 because you've changed a significant portion of text, merely choosing the thought balloon option and then switching back to the dialogue option will fix the problem immediately. Of course, if I'm the only one seeing these "hanging brads," then I've shared another important life lesson: Don't forget I'm an idiot.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

umfumdisi

Now you tell me.

but you can buffalo a rollerskate herd.

i know this because i did it once or twice

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Kill Whitey.

umfumdisii don't see it, so it might be you. unless everyone else does then it might be me. i'm not sure what you mean by "changed a significant portion of text" though. i don't remember editing that comic after the fact.

i'm running firefox so i've given up on having comics look normal to me. i have an add-on that will render a page in IE, so i hit that button to quickly check whether it overlaps too much, then i rush back to the milk and honey shores of firefox

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what if nigger meant kite

Nothing looks weird to me here.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

My only rule in life:

Check for toilet paper first.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Sometimes I see the hanging brads, and sometimes I don't.  They are a maddeningly elusive phenomenon.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Don't tell jokes about Mexicans to large groups of people in Southern California

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asssss

Q) what do you get when you cross a mexican and an octopus?

A) i don't know either, but it sure can pick a lot of cabbage

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Kill Whitey.

You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails.

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

90% of everything is crap.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Zaster

Genius

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asssss

90% of the internet is crap? No way!

I'm not sure if I really learned any life lessons other than "don't trust anyone," but I can offer the advice I gave my brother when my mom made me talk to him about sex:

"Do what you want, how you want, where you want, with who you want, as long as you're not stupid."

She wasn't happy about it, but I figured that covers everything from safe sex to murdering hookers. 

ivytheplantIt's only murder if they're people. The best they can get you for if you get caught murdering a hooker is cruelty to animals.

On that note, my mother always told me that it's only a crime if you get caught. Mostly she said this when I was a teenager and she knew she couldn't stop me from doing illegal things but would rather she never find out about them.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

No matter what you pull, there are always a couple choice words that will buy you enough time to make a break for it.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

One night when I was going to a party and staying the night, my mum just suddenly gave me a knowing look and said "Be careful". This is pretty much the closest I've ever came to having a "birds and bee's" talk. Which is fine by me.

My dad still refuses to admit to us that he's had sex.

I know. I know.

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The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

The_young_scot

Mine does too. It embarasses him very muchly. That's why I ended up giving my brother "the talk." Though apparently texting him with "I just got laid!" at 8am wasn't something he cared to know.

That would be my advice. Always give your relatives TMI. That way, they decide it's better to leave you alone than risk hearing about your night with the Thai ladyboy.

never rub another man's rhubarb

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what if nigger meant kite

ivytheplant

But it's such a good story!

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The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

ivytheplant

Mine does too. It embarasses him very muchly. That's why I ended up giving my brother "the talk." Though apparently texting him with "I just got laid!" at 8am wasn't something he cared to know.

That would be my advice. Always give your relatives TMI. That way, they decide it's better to leave you alone than risk hearing about your night with the Thai ladyboy.

There's a backstory to this, surely. 

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

No real backstory. Just combined my mom making the mistake of asking me and boorite what we were doing in my bedroom and one time when I stumbled across my dad's photo album from Vietnam which included pictures of some very interesting entertainment practices. I'm pretty sure they were women, but again, have you ever seen a ladyboy?

mandingo

When I write the Rhubarb Bible, that will be the first commandment.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

mandingo

On Firefox it's not showing up. On IE, I see them quite often. I've noticed it happen to my comics while creating them. If I have a medium-sized block of text and change it or change the size of the comic background, then the arrow part of the dialogue balloon shows up inside the text.

Perhaps it's merely time to get a newer, less-crappy computer.

[hr]

Another life lesson: Assuming makes an Ass out of U and Ming.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

umfumdisi

Except on the internet where it just makes one person an ass and they don't realize it and make a further ass of themselves when they don't get it. Which is always hilarious to watch.

Life Lessons: The Internet Version should be one line that says: "Stay away from the internet."

1) Don't tug on Superman's cape

2) Don't spit into the wind

3) Don't pull your weiner out in public with the ol Lone Ranger (and if you do, make sure you're wearing a mask)

4) Don't mess around with Jim

 Especially the 'spitting into the wind' part...

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Insert Theme to Mannix here