A new series that came (ha, pun) to me the other day when I saw some random girl wearing clothes with slogans plastered all over. So I wondered: "What if that was carried to an extreme? Hm..."

The title is a play on an old Internet meme.

Cock Goes Wear 1 by Xuanwu 8-30-07

What are you wearing? It's my new shirt! It's got "Whore!" embalazoned right on the front. Like it? Uh... Oh, I see. Too subtle, huh? ...and that's when I got the idea: why not have a line of t-shirts with unambiguously wanton slogans! Brilliant!

Cock Goes Wear 2 by Xuanwu 8-30-07

Okay, boys! You are now members of the "Cock Goes Wear" project! We are going to design and market the raunchiest, messiest, and above all horniest fashion ever seen! Every slogan should make men cream on the spot! Women should be dripping over how hot their clothes are! And the clothes will hide as much as dental floss! Question. Yes? Will we get to wear what we make? I'm a dirty little harlot myself and this is making my nipples hard.

Cock Goes Wear 3 by Xuanwu 8-30-07

So, here's some of the slogans we've thought of: "I love cock." Too simple. "Stick it in my ass." Better. But still too tame. "I'm a cum guzzling slut who wants thick, long meat stuffed in every hole." I felt a twinge on that. Increase the raunchiness a hundredfold and then you've got something.

Cock Goes Wear 4 by Xuanwu 8-30-07

Yeah, so this crazy bitch wants some super raunchy slogans. You have a machine that can whip something up? Well, I've been experimenting with a character augmenter. It can increase the inherent nature of a thing by several orders of magnitude. Great! Our group's made a slogan she likes. She said to boost it by...uh...a million? Something like that. Sure! Let me prep the machine. I was just finishing using it for other purposes. ...What did you try to augment? Certainly not my Baywatch collection!

Cock Goes Wear 5 by Xuanwu 8-30-07

The slogan is done. We've got it printed on a prototype shirt. It's ready for your inspection. Good work! Did you test it on anyone? Yeah, one of the mail boys. He creamed his pants instantly, just as you wanted. Great! I'm going to go see this baby right now! Why didn't you also tell her that the mail boy died when he couldn't stop ejaculating, even after blood started shooting out? Aren't you curious what's going to happen to her?

These two are proof I can't write orgasm noises. Oh, well.

Cock Goes Wear 6 by Xuanwu 8-30-07

I have the shirt here. But I must warn you it's quite...potent. Yeah, yeah. Show me what you've got! Here it is. AH! OH! UNNNNNH! OH GOD! I'M COMING! I'M COMING! OH SHIT! AAAAHHHHHH! I've put it away! Are you all right? All right? That was the best fucking orgasm I've ever had! Show it again!

Cock Goes Wear 7 by Xuanwu 8-30-07

Miss, I must warn you not to expose yourself again. There's no telling - Shut up and show me the shirt, or I'll have your goddamn job. Fine. Here. AH! AH! AH! OH GOD! IT'S EVEN STRONGER THAN BEFORE! FUCK! I wonder if this counts as losing my virginity... I'M HAVING A DOUBLE! AH! NO, A TRIPLE! SHIT! IT'S A TRIPLE! OH GOOOOOOOOOD!

nice series. it'll double as masturbation material later tonight

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what if nigger meant kite

I liked this series even more than I like conjuring up mental images of Marlon Brando's furiously vibrating asshole.

Xuanwu

I always just write:  "Nnf...NNF...UNNNGGGGHHH!!!"

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Your brilliant series here inspred this one:

RCL no. 1672 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 8-31-07

OH, GOD! OH, GOD! Why you looking at me? I didn't do a thing! I THINK I'M GONNA- YES! YES! I'M GONNA COME!! I just stood here... UUNNNNNGGGHH!!! Apparently, just the mere sight of a "cock" gives her orgasms!

The cock series just 'jumped the shark' after that one.
It happens a lot when new writers take over a series.

Thanks for the praise (and the tribute comic)! I'm glad you enjoy the perverted humor.

These were partly inspired by Orgazmo:

Cock Goes Wear 8 by Xuanwu 8-31-07

How many orgasms is she up to? I think she just broke triple digits. Whoa. I thought female ejaculation was something invented by pornos. Yeah. She's been doing that since the mid-60's or so. Almost hit the ceiling a couple times during the 80's. ...Want to take two of the other prototypes out for a spin? Oh, hell yes.

Cock Goes Wear 9 by Xuanwu 8-31-07

I managed to sneak these two shirts out of R&D. Don't read them; they're deadly for guys. I know, I was there. But since we can't read them, how are we supposed to use them? We wear them under our dress shirts. Then we flash unsuspecting women, like this. Won't we get in trouble? What are they going to tell police? Looking at our shirted chests caused uncontrollable orgasms? We'll be lauded as gods among men for it! You're right! And then maybe that red haired intern will finally notice me...

Cock Goes Wear 10 by Xuanwu 8-31-07

AH! GOD! OH YES! I'M COMING! I'M COOOOOMING! YES! YES! YES! I take it you like my shirt, babe? Heh! You were right, man! This is awesome! I can make this girl writhe just by keeping my shirt open! Indeed! This excursion has been most rew - LOOK OUT! UNNNH! OH, MY! MM! OH, DEARY ME! AHHHHH - Urk! Huff...Th-thank you - huff - s-sonny... *Blegh* I think she's dead. Oh, shit.

Cock Goes Wear 11 by Xuanwu 8-31-07

Sorry, sir, but I saw what you did to that old lady. I'm going to have to arrest you both. Oh, really? What if I do - THIS! ... You're unaffected! How?! I used to work the beach patrol checking bikini coverage. Per police regulations, I was made into a eunuch. Nuts.

Xuanwu

 Your welcome.  And, I'm glad you saw my comic as a tribute, despite what that dumbass uncreative8 wrote.

another homage comic

Cock Goes Wear ((based on a Xuanwu comic)) by mandingo 8-31-07

here's your shirt, Ms. O'Flannerty. it's our first geriatric shirt -- designed to give older men denture-rocking orgasms, but not kill them. what do you think? "Not too dry to ride." sonny, if i wanted to give old farts an orgasm, i could just go to Bingo and show a little stocking. what i want is a shirt to make some young bronzed Adonis come his tootin brains out. how about this then: "The best rides ain't waterslides!" perfect!

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what if nigger meant kite