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Stripcreator » Comic Competitions » CC 78: Everything but the kitchen sink

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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

In this contest, your entries must contain everything but the kitchen sink. Specifically:

The words "everything", "but", "the", "kitchen", and "sink" must appear in your comic, in five different text boxes, clearly in that order reading left to right.

What do I mean by "clearly reading left to right"? If all five of the words appear in dialogue boxes, the boxes must be in proper left-to-right order, not necessarily consecutively ("everything" must be in the leftmost of the five, etc.) Or, one of the words may be used in a narration box; if this is the case, the four dialogue boxes in the other two panels must be used for the other four words, so there is no ambiguity in the ordering.

Clear as mud?

You should otherwise have plenty of leeway to be funny. Judging will be sometime Sunday evening in North America, early Monday morning in Europe, and midday Monday in Australia.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

11-08-01 8:26am (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

I'm never taking one of your classes, man.

---
What others say about boorite!

11-08-01 8:29am (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

Aww, it's not that hard. But...

You folks:loop::Tobor:corn

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

11-08-01 8:35am (new)
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BigEvilDan
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

My excessively complicated entries:

CC 78: Five times in one comic! by BigEvilDan
11-08-01
Everything seemed to be going okay...
Cool, a hall of mirrors! This carnival has everything but the kitchen sink!
Cool, a hall of mirrors! This carnival has everything but the kitchen sink!
...but considering that this was supposed to be a haunted carnival...
Cool, a hall of mirrors! This carnival has everything but the kitchen sink!
Cool, a hall of mirrors! This carnival has everything but the kitchen sink!
...I was getting a sinking feeling.
Cool, a hall of mirrors! This carnival has everything but the kitchen sink!
Cool, a kid who's brains I can eat! This carnival has everything but the kitchen sink!

CC 78: Everything IS the kitchen sink... by BigEvilDan
11-08-01
Each "very enjoyable" reward you toss here is nearly garbage!
Buy Ukrainian tea..
Television, how evil...
...kettles. I think Christmas hassles end now.
The Home Shopping Network: Important public service, or tool of the devil?
Shop... I need kettle...
Purchase everyhing, robot! Immediately, or die!

I never read anywhere in the rules that the letters in the words had to be consecutive.

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

11-08-01 9:35am (new)
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BigEvilDan
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

Oops, I messed up the first comic. Here is the corrected version:

CC 78: Five times in one comic REDUX by BigEvilDan
11-08-01
Everything seemed to be going okay...
Cool, a hall of mirrors! This carnival has everything but the kitchen sink!
Cool, a hall of mirrors! This carnival has everything but the kitchen sink!
...but this was the haunted carnival...
Cool, a hall of mirrors! This carnival has everything but the kitchen sink!
Cool, a hall of mirrors! This carnival has everything but the kitchen sink!
...and I was getting a sinking feeling.
Cool, a hall of mirrors! This carnival has everything but the kitchen sink!
Cool, a kid who's brains I can eat! This carnival has everything but the kitchen sink!

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

11-08-01 9:40am (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

Everything Butt by Spankling
11-08-01
Everything is ready. Are you sure you have the stuff to pleasure me? I've seen more exciting packages on the UPS truck.
But none of those pack the wallop my package can. And I can take it as good as I give. You wanna mount first? Where to?
The best spot for that would be under the kitchen sink. You can pretend to be the plumber.
Kitchen tile makes my ass squeak. Got any other ideas?
Sink down, my man, and get busy right here!
Check. We can put on a show for the kids in the school across the street.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

11-08-01 9:47am (new)
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fuzzyman
Alpha Geek

Member Rated:

CC78: To The Last I Grapple With Thee by fuzzyman
11-08-01
Everything is all wrong, Ishmael. I can't go on like this any longer.
But you said that you loved me!
The thing is... I've been too long at sea. I want something different. A woman. Barefoot, pregnant, and in the--
--kitchen, I know. You've said it a million times. I.. I... just can't believe that you'd leave me for a WOMAN.
Sink all coffins and hearses to one common pool! It's true! Please forgive me.
I'll never forgive you for this, Ahab!

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

11-08-01 9:55am (new)
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fuzzyman
Alpha Geek

Member Rated:

CC78: Exciting And New by fuzzyman
11-08-01
Everything ready? Let's get this overwith.
But surely there must be another way!
The best way to fix this is to follow my plan. Now say your goodbyes.
Kitchen... goodbye! Poop deck... goodbye! Bridge... goodbye! Promenade deck... goodbye! Okay, sir. I'm *sniffle* ready.
And so, Captain Stubing ensured that there would never again be another Love Boat sequel.
Sink the Pacific Princess!! Gopher... you can go now.
*sob*

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

11-08-01 11:04am (new)
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DragonXero
I'm Here, You're Queer, Get Used to it

Member Rated:

Comic Contest Entry: Tobor's House of Assrape! by DragonXero
11-08-01
RARRR! COME ON DOWN TO TOBOR'S LAND OF ASSRAPE, WE'RE HAVING A SALE, AND GIVING AWAY EVERYTHING!
But Tobor! Won't that mean...?
YES! THE KITCHEN WILL BE FULLY STOCKED WITH CHERRY-FLAVORED ANAL EASE, AS WILL THE BATHROOM!
Well Tobor, where will they get their assrape?
WHY, I'LL BEND THEM OVER THE SINK, OF COURSE!
Oh Tobor, you're so generous.

If this one made sense, it'd be sure to win.

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

11-08-01 12:17pm (new)
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crabby
I have an awesome avatar.

Member Rated:

CC 78: GRAND PIANO by crabby
11-08-01
EVERYTHING
BUT THE
KITCHEN SINK

11-08-01 2:27pm (new)
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BigEvilDan
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

CC 78: I should be PUNished for this by BigEvilDan
11-08-01
My name is Mr. Ting, and I'd like you to meet my five daugthers. I had to raise them by myself, and they mean everything to me.
My name is Blender, but you can call me Belinda if you're not into appliances.
My name is Dishwasher. I run the Wash and Wash Millenium Wash here in Toronto.
My name is Amy. I'm the black sheep of the family, not being named after something you'd find in a kitchen and everything.
My name is Oven and--hey, where's Kitchen Sink?
I swear, if you guys are doing another goddamn pun, I'm moving out...

I also forgot that we're allowed non-consecutive uses of the words, bring my total in that one comic to nine uses of the phrase.

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

11-08-01 7:18pm (new)
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Drexle
Your Cure for Lameness

Member Rated:

CC 78: Misogyny by Drexle
11-08-01
Yep, I'm looking for a woman who will do everything I tell her to, any time I want.
But not just any woman... she's got to have a nice tight ass and some big hooters too.
Ugh... Didn't the neanderthal die off in the mid 90s?
Yeah, she should know her places are in the kitchen, and in the bedroom. And if she gives me any guff... Whammo!!!
And yet I *so* would let him sink his loveship in my ocean... Ride me Roy, and make me scream like a woman!

Sadly, I know people like these...

11-08-01 8:15pm (new)
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Namgubed
The Merry Elf

Member Rated:

No! Not the "hidden words" approach!

CC 78: Heavily Contrived Hidden Synchronicity by Namgubed
11-08-01
Another industrial ugly norning...
I'd like to place an ad in the personals: "Single Very Thin Gentleman wishes to meet Single Woman who's good with a comb, possible Long Term Relationship."
Your non-existant hairline renders a comb utterly useless!
That's what she thinks. Meanwhile, at a rock concert, Identity Pilfering takes an unexpected turn...
Introducing someone who's got heavy metal coursing through her veins; a new bass player for Limp Bizkit: Chen Ho Park's little sister, Kim!
It's not what you know, it's whose name you drop! Is that such a sin?
Kindly refrain from hurling rotten vegetables in my general direction.
You suck !

---
"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

11-08-01 8:31pm (new)
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Namgubed
The Merry Elf

Member Rated:

Oops! That's "ugly morning ..." D-oh! Anyway, here's a slightly less contrived entry:

CC 78: with 77cc of CC 77 by Namgubed
11-08-01
Ready to play Robo-Battleship? All right, then, everything's set. Loser has to finish washing the dishes!
BUT TOBOR'S KNOWLEDGE OF BATTLESHIP IS LACKING!!!!!
OK, say for example that my battleship was located on the grid in squares B-2 through B-6...
B-2, B-3, B-4, B-5, B-6!!!!! FATALITY!!!!! I WIN!!!!!
Oh, well, back to the kitchen.
ALL YOUR BATTLESHIP ARE SINK BY US!!!!!

---
"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

11-08-01 9:06pm (new)
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DragonXero
I'm Here, You're Queer, Get Used to it

Member Rated:

You sir, are truly a blasphemer, and to use my character for it, makes you the worst of them all.

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

11-08-01 9:09pm (new)
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Kevin_Keegans_Perm
Bean There, Done That

Member Rated:

That was so utterly contrived , it HAS to win.

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

11-08-01 10:20pm (new)
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ObiJo
Eamus Catuli

Member Rated:

CC78: Time and a Half and Half by ObiJo
11-08-01
Report, Sergeant!
Sir, everything is destroyed, sir!
Everything? But what of our superior fire power?
Sir, everything but the cannon shot out little novelty flags saying, "Ready, Aim, Retreat", sir!
Then what of strength in numbers? I told the General I wanted everything but the kitchen help on that battlefield. Did he follow my orders?
Sir, no, sir! We had sauciers flanking left, pastry chefs flanking right, and Jorge, our well-intentioned but extremely dead busboy charging head on! Got hit with everything but the kitchen sink, sir!

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

11-08-01 11:28pm (new)
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israphael
Stripcreator Veteran

Member Rated:

This is guaranteed to win. I followed all the rules. See you can plainly see "all" "your" "base" "are" "belong" "to us" incorporated into the strip.

WE WILL SAVE YOU MONEY!!! by israphael
11-08-01
Me and my roommate here are leaving town soon, so we're having one big-ass garage sale. EVERYTHING must go.
BUT that's not "all". Look at this nice dinette set complete with 4 chairs and a china cabinet. Buy it today and it can be in "your" home tonight.
That's just THE tip of the iceberg. How about this beatiful reading lamp with a tiffany shade and polished brass "base".
We "are" crazy to sell at these prices. Check out this side by side refrigerator/freezer, doesn't it look like it should "belong" in your KITCHEN.
We're even selling the fixtures. How about this marble bathroom SINK in a lovely clamshell design. It could be yours. Just come on down and hand over cash "to us"
What are you guys doing with all my stuff?

What do mean "everything but the kitchen sink"?

---
"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

11-08-01 11:31pm (new)
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lemur68
Member - Tobor Fan Club

Member Rated:

quote:
Oops! That's "ugly morning ..." D-oh! Anyway, here's a slightly less contrived entry:

CC 78: with 77cc of CC 77 by Namgubed
11-08-01
Ready to play Robo-Battleship? All right, then, everything's set. Loser has to finish washing the dishes!
BUT TOBOR'S KNOWLEDGE OF BATTLESHIP IS LACKING!!!!!
OK, say for example that my battleship was located on the grid in squares B-2 through B-6...
B-2, B-3, B-4, B-5, B-6!!!!! FATALITY!!!!! I WIN!!!!!
Oh, well, back to the kitchen.
ALL YOUR BATTLESHIP ARE SINK BY US!!!!!


The thought of someone exclaiming "FATALITY" when they win at Battleship sends chuckles through me.

---
"America loves its kings, from George III to Larry." --HJS

11-09-01 1:30am (new)
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fuzzyman
Alpha Geek

Member Rated:

CC78: Crazy Tobor's by fuzzyman
11-09-01
EVERYTHING MUST GO! COME ON DOWN TO CRAZBY TOBOR'S FALL APPLIANCE CLEARANCE SALE... NOW!!!!
But, Tobor! The economy is tight. Even with your Toboriffic prices, people still might have trouble affording these great deals!
THE BEST PART IS ZERO PERCENT FINANCING *AND* NO PAYMENTS FOR 180 DAYS ON EVERY ITEM IN THE STORE!
Kitchen appliances? Vacuums? Washing machines? Electric toothbrushes? Wow! How could this get any better?
SINK YOUR TEETH INTO THIS: FREE CORNHOLING WITH *EVERY* PURCHASE!
Two cornholings if you're cute!

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

11-09-01 4:11am (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


fuzzyman
Alpha Geek

Member Rated:

I'm my own worst proofreader. Here is the corrected version:
CC78: Crazy Tobor's by fuzzyman
11-09-01
EVERYTHING MUST GO! COME ON DOWN TO CRAZY TOBOR'S FALL APPLIANCE CLEARANCE SALE... NOW!!!!
But, Tobor! The economy is tight. Even with your Toboriffic prices, people still might have trouble affording these great deals!
THE BEST PART IS ZERO PERCENT FINANCING *AND* NO PAYMENTS FOR 180 DAYS ON EVERY ITEM IN THE STORE!
Kitchen appliances? Vacuums? Washing machines? Electric toothbrushes? Wow! How could this get any better?
SINK YOUR TEETH INTO THIS: FREE CORNHOLING WITH *EVERY* PURCHASE!
Two cornholings if you're cute!

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

11-09-01 4:17am (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


BigEvilDan
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

CC 78: Puncore by BigEvilDan
11-09-01
Is everything arranged for the boy band tour?
More or less, but we've got a problem with one of the bands.
Come on, spill it. What's the problem?
You might want to get a drink from the kitchen sir. You'll need it. One of the bands has switched to a "polkacore" style.
That's terrible! It would sink our sales for sure.
I'll drop them from the list, sir. We'll make do with everything but that kitsch N'Sync.

CC 78: Housecleaning by BigEvilDan
11-09-01
Well ma'am, everything is just about finished. Just one room left.
Thanks a lot. I like animals, but having a skunk run around the house was too much for me.
We've done the bedrooms, the bathrooms, the living room...
In fact, we've removed everything but the kitchen stink.
I had a sinking feeling you'd say that.

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

11-09-01 7:54am (new)
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attitudechicka
is never bored.

Member Rated:

quote:

WE WILL SAVE YOU MONEY!!! by israphael
11-08-01
Me and my roommate here are leaving town soon, so we're having one big-ass garage sale. EVERYTHING must go.
BUT that's not "all". Look at this nice dinette set complete with 4 chairs and a china cabinet. Buy it today and it can be in "your" home tonight.
That's just THE tip of the iceberg. How about this beatiful reading lamp with a tiffany shade and polished brass "base".
We "are" crazy to sell at these prices. Check out this side by side refrigerator/freezer, doesn't it look like it should "belong" in your KITCHEN.
We're even selling the fixtures. How about this marble bathroom SINK in a lovely clamshell design. It could be yours. Just come on down and hand over cash "to us"
What are you guys doing with all my stuff?


Is it just me, or does it look like Dan needs some sun?

---
Mediocrity at its most average.

11-09-01 8:34am (new)
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crabby
I have an awesome avatar.

Member Rated:

CC 78: JET by crabby
11-09-01
EVERYTHING
BUT THE
KITCHEN SINK

11-09-01 9:03am (new)
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israphael
Stripcreator Veteran

Member Rated:

THAT'S JUST CRAZBY TALK!

---
"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

11-09-01 12:51pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info

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