David just moved into a nice hotel.  He was quietly reading a book on the couch when suddenly he heard a knock at the door.  He got up, and opened the door.  There, he saw a man.  "I'm terribly sorry, sir.  I thought this was my room.  My mistake." said the man.  David closed the door and continued reading.  About 2 minutes later, he called the front desk.  "Sir?  There is a robber here in the hotel."  David was sure the that man he saw was a robber.

Your job is to figure out how David knew the man was a robber.  It's actually not that hard.  If no one gets it in a while I will post the answer.  Thank you.

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The only way to make a friend is to be one jk

The black mask and the bag with 'swag' on it would give it away, surely?

Here is another joke:  There's this beautiful young lady who just moved into the 4th floor of an appartment.  The 3 people who live below her are a basketball player, a college student, and a blind man.  One day the lady is taking a shower, when she hears a knock at the door.  She quickly gets out of the shower and looks through the peep whole to see who it is.  It's the basketball player.  She quickly puts on her bathrobe.  She opens the door.  "Congratulate me!"  he said, "I just won a basketball game!"  So she congratulates him.  The next day she's taking another shower, and she hears another knock at the door.  The quickly gets out of the shower and looks through the peep whole to see who it is.  It's the college student.  She quickly puts on her bathrobe.  She opens the door.  "Congratulate me!" he said, "I just graduated from college!"  So she congratulates him.  The next day, she's taking another and she hears a knock on the door.  She gets out of the shower and looks through the peep whole to see who it is.  It's the blind man.  Since he's blind, and can't see, she doesn't put on her bathrobe.  She opens the door, "Congratulate me!"  the blind man says, "I can see!"

 I think this one is pretty good!

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The only way to make a friend is to be one jk

No that's wrong, lima.  But good guess!   You do have a pont there.  But I guess he was just a regular looking guy.  No masks or bags.

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The only way to make a friend is to be one jk

Coolio_cat

And here was me expecting the punchline to be "Nice tits, where do you want the blind?" but hey.

As for the riddle, I'm assuming he's heard the guy knock on other doors in the hotel, which would also account for the two minute wait.

Once again, lima, no.  Do you want me to just tell you the answer?

PS  please do not right anything sick or cuss.  I don't like it and it would kinda make me feel bad.  I hope I didn't make you angry.  It's just I don't feel very comphortable with it.

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The only way to make a friend is to be one jk

Its cool, i'm about as angry as a newt in high heels. (That isn't very angry at all, by the way, newts are known fetishists).

I have various ill-wrought ideas for a possible soloution, ranging from David being a janitor and/or the robber's accomplice, to the Hotel being in Glasgow (in which case theres a one in three chance of anyone being a theif) to the idea that our David can see through walls. Alas, they're all the sort of tripe into which my amaretto-addled brain is wont to delve at 1.30am, so I'll have to give in for now. Feel free to post the answer, tis up to you.

God I'm flowery when I'm tired.

Wow........those are very......I guess well thought ideas....how old are you?  Or at leats what grade are you in???

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The only way to make a friend is to be one jk

Coolio_cat

Twenty three. Third.

You mean third year of college???  Not 3rd grade......I hope......

PS I am A LOOOOOOOOOT younger than you.

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The only way to make a friend is to be one jk

lima, check your PM.  I sent you something.  But you already answered it....so you don't need to answer it again.

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The only way to make a friend is to be one jk

Coolio_cat

I'd guessed that, but then I wasn't trying to come on to you, so I'm fine with that. I've left college actually, I was just trying to be funny by insinuating that I was in third grade, which probably didn't work, but hey what can jesus christ WE'RE VEERING OFF TOPIC, AAAAARRRRGH

*jumps under bus*

You're kinda funny!  The third grade thing actually was funny.  I would tell you how old I am, but........I'm too young.......which is probably why I don't like cuss words. 

I will tell you this, though:  My age somewhere in between 10-15

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The only way to make a friend is to be one jk

Coolio_cat

Let me guess... behind the hyphen?

I'm going to guess it's because he heard the same knocking a couple more times over the course of two minutes, given that he was "reading quietly" this doesn't seem to be a foregone conclusion.

By the by, I'm probably not going to be interacting too much in any Coolio_cat threads in the future. It's not that I swear, I'm just allergic to censorship. I'll also warn Coolio_cat in advance not to read my comics, which have some swearing in them, but a whole lot of gross subject matter.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

No.  I'm not 10 if that's what you meant.  I didn't exactly get it.  But no I am not 10.

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The only way to make a friend is to be one jk

Thanks to ZMannZilla for warning me about that.  And thanks for replying!

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The only way to make a friend is to be one jk

ZMannZilla

He's right. Some of them have girls in them. He even says wee. Twice.

My comics are clean, save the odd nun spitroast.

More than ten eh? That narrows it down to a smaller range than before. Things certainly are cooking, despite my lack of kitchen utensils.

Yup!  More than 10!  I'm gonna haev to read some of your comics, lima.  Read some of mine.  They're not very good, but that's 'cause some of them I messed up really bad on, and some of them just suck, and I have a few spelling mistakes on some.  *tee hee*  Well, anyway, some of them might be ok.....or not......it's your opinion....not mine.....that is all.....

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The only way to make a friend is to be one jk

*ahem*  Make that, "I'm gonna HAVE to read some of....."  yeah....spelling mistake....

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The only way to make a friend is to be one jk

Hey lima.....are you a boy or a girl?

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The only way to make a friend is to be one jk

Coolio_cat

Somewhere between boy, man, and human exhasperation machine.

I was expecting all your comics to be awful, and I expected wrong. I chuckled, I gave votes of 'good', I came back to this thread and made another reply. I'm not sure which act constitutues certification, if any, but there we go.

Does David have a trampoline with which to bounce through skylights to peak at unsuspecting robbers? A couch trampoline? No?

You're so funny!  No.  He doesnt.  *giggle*  I'm glad you liked my comics.  I just now made a new one.  I like yours, too.

PS I'm new to this website, but my friend told me about it before I made an account.

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The only way to make a friend is to be one jk

He only had to knock to give himself away. If you thought a hotel room was your own, then why would you knock?

Davids no fool!

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Insert Theme to Mannix here

It's because he was black.

.......what?

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Poop.