As I look back at the previous ccs, I love it when the host tells the contestants to "get to strippin'".  It makes me think about strippers which makes me think about what strippers think about when they are stripping.  Which leads us to our next cc.

Your task is to make a comic about what strippers really think about when they are dry humping the fat balding guy in the bad suit.  Cause we all know, she ain't thinking about him.

COVER CHARGE: To enter this cc, you must post a picture of a pole in this thread.  Any pole will do.  It does not have to be a stripper pole.  The funnier the better.

TWO STRIP MINIMUM: You must post at least two strips to win this cc.  They do not have to be part of a series.

CLOSING TIME: Contest will end Monday February 1st.  Judging will be Tuesday February 2nd.

With that said: Get to strippin'!

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

The Consummation of Bucky Masturbate 1 by biped 1-18-10

...and that was when I discovered that both the warm, oozing sensation and the buzzing noise were eminating from my own genitals. (gag) Look, if you'll just sit back, I'll start your (shudder) lap dance now. But I didn't order a lap dance... DARLENE... I specifically ordered a POLE DANCE. POLE DANCE!!! POLE DANCE!!! POOOLE DAAAANCE!!! OKAY!!! OKAAAAY!!! Oh, and just to clarify..."pole dance" is a slang term for you dancing around my erect penis as though it were a maypole, correct? OH MY GOD!!!

The Consummation of Bucky Masturbate 2 by biped 1-18-10

BUM bum pah BUM bum, UHH uhh uhh-- Why are you making those odd noises, Darlene? Shouldn't you be talking about what a wonderful maypole my erect penis is? Your...uhh...erect penis is a wonderful m-maypole... Now we're married. Okay, I don't know what you did to Darlene, but she just tried to kill herself. Nonsense, this is a joyous occasion. She is now "Mrs. Bucky's Erect Penis."

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Strip by NooniePuuBunny 1-21-10

Yeehaw! show me dem bunny bun buns! If I didnt need to pay off these fucking loans, I'd show you my footy foot foot up your assy ass ass!

 

Strip Strip by NooniePuuBunny 1-21-10

Cmon over! Lemmie shove a 50 in those fuzzy little titties! Lemmie shove my foot up your fuzzy fucker ass, sonofa...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

I'll post an old comic because i'm to lazy/unimaginative to think of anything new at the moment.

I'll post the second comic and a picture soon. THANKS FOR GIVING ME A CHORE.

RCCOLAMAN

Whatever keeps you off the streets.  Just trying to keep things interesting.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

four_legged_tripod

Whatever keeps you off the streets.  Just trying to keep things interesting.

I credit you and hesus for helping me stay away from gangs and getting my GED

and of course my entry: 

Private Room Panel Problems by crabby 1-24-10

AT DA CLUB! Hey there, stud! Wanna get a private room? We can get real nasty in a private room. Ok. So, then when I was 11 my mother's boyfriend made me suck off his grandfather because he had cancer and was going to die soon. It was horrible, but that's the moment I became a great cock sucker. Ok. Later that night in bed with the wife... Did you do anything fun tonight with your friends, honey? No. Nothing was fun.

[IMG]http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h196/Swamp_Lummox/pole-fail-funny-pictures.jpg[/IMG]

This comic is based on a true story, only the names have been changed to protect the frighteningly stupid.

True Stripper Tales by AngryAmerican 1-28-10

What's wrong Brooke? You seem extra confused today. The light thingy on...my four wheeled thing...won't make shiny anymore... Hold on Brooke, you mean you have a headlight out? Yes! Thank you! What do I do? You're probably just out of halogen fluid. Just go to your dealership and ask for some halogen fluid. OK. Thanks!

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Kill Whitey.

LAST CALL: This is the last weekend before the cc ends.  I know I said I'd judge on Tuesday but I see no need to drag this on any longer than need be.  I'll judge Monday.  If you get your entry in on Monday before I judge then it counts.

AA and crabby, I still need another entry from each of you to complete the two strip minimum.

Remember what your mother told you and think like a stripper.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Do I have to post another 'pole pic' or am I covered by the one?

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Kill Whitey.

AngryAmerican

You're covered. And nice pic by the way.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Andrew Golotta is a Pole by way of strong Polish heritage. He has also been danced on by as many strippers as any other washed up never was athlete. I saw him fight Lamon Brewster at the All State Arena and he was knocked down three times in the first minute of the fight. The predominantly Polish crowd near rioted afterwards and the streets were filled with fighting pollocks. It was almost as embarassing as the time he fought Lennox Lewis and was so shot up on horse tranquilizers pre match that he ended up being knocked out in the first round and having a massive seizure in ring.

Private Room Panel Problems Continued With More Faux Pas by crabby 1-30-10

Mister! Hey mister! You remember me from the club? I sucked you off in the private room with a big mouth full of oatmeal... Just like my grandfather loved Yes... That was an unpleasant night. What are you doing at my work? What do you want? I WANT YOU TO EAT MY ASS! I GOT A BIG BOWL OF CHILLI I WAS GONNA POUR DOWN THE SMALL OF MY BACK AND LET IT DRIP THROUGH MY ASSHOLE AND THEN YOU CAN MARRY ME! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! It was all a dream! Well not all of it. He did have an awkward moment at a strip club with a stripper. Hey, you think this narration panel is pointless? Get fucked! It was all a dream! I am never going to another strip club ever again.

I'm back! 

OK.  Looks like that time has come.  First, my two cents on the thoughts of strippers.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Thigh: 9PM by four_legged_tripod 2-01-10

I'll give you a dollar if you show me your tits. That's one more dollar for my college fund. I've got a fiver here if you rub your ass against my crotch. That's five more dollars off my student loans. I'll pay you 20 bucks for each ping pong ball you can shoot out your cootchie. If x = $20 and y = ping pong balls, how many ping pong balls will it take to have my McCain-Palin tattoo removed?

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Thigh: 10PM by four_legged_tripod 2-01-10

And there's another twenty. Wow! I've got enough to get part of the McCain tattoo removed. And another twent- Holy crap! You really shot that one across the room! Great! And that was my last ping pong ball! Now I'll have "in-Palin" tattooed right below my c-section for the rest of my life! Hey, look! Someone dropped a red gumball. Score!

Now, on to more important matters.

3rd place goes to LittleRocker for

Nice in joke about yourself.  Does that mean your real name is uncle Ted?

2nd place goes to biped for

The Consummation of Bucky Masturbate 1 by biped 1-18-10

...and that was when I discovered that both the warm, oozing sensation and the buzzing noise were eminating from my own genitals. (gag) Look, if you'll just sit back, I'll start your (shudder) lap dance now. But I didn't order a lap dance... DARLENE... I specifically ordered a POLE DANCE. POLE DANCE!!! POLE DANCE!!! POOOLE DAAAANCE!!! OKAY!!! OKAAAAY!!! Oh, and just to clarify..."pole dance" is a slang term for you dancing around my erect penis as though it were a maypole, correct? OH MY GOD!!!

Thanks for reminding us all that there are many uses for a penis including a maypole.

Finally, the winner is RCCOLAMAN for

Creepy yet effective. Looks like all your bitching paid off.

And finally to all: thanks for playing.

Take it away RC!

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

I won I won!!! Okay I'll try to start a new contest by Wednesday at the latest!