I've never used a Bidet (or an "ass fountain").
Surely you'd have to wipe your ass afterwards anyway?
If anal hygiene was really a big issue, they'd sell ass-brushes in supermarkets (like toothbushes).
and let me tell you, I'm not sticking Colgate up my rectum, not for you, not for anybody!
That would tingle, minty fresh.
You know how they say Altoids are a sexual aid?
Well, erm, yeah.
Never mind. Too graphic for this forum.
Too graphic of a true personal story, that is.
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.