George learned a valuable lesson about cocaine and cooking. He also learned to never chop his fuckin' fingers off. Cause it hurts. 

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

That's the last time I cook for cannibals.

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

The pain was so unbearable, that Frank decided to shoot himself. But all he could find was a nail gun. He shot nails into his skull repeatedly, praying for death's merciful steel to strike him down, but the nails wouldn't quite go deep enough. So then he hooked lamp cord up to the nails and plugged it into an electric socket, but that only caused his eyeballs to explode and smoke to pour from his ears. Blindly stumbling around, he stepped on a rollerskate that someone had left on the floor, and he tumbled downstairs into the basement where he had absent-mindedly left a buzzsaw running. The buzzsaw cut off his legs but he eventually managed to crawl outside where a hungry pit bull promptly bit off his testicles.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Its better than what he accidentally cut up last week.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

thats so fake where's the blood there would be blood duh

That's not how you make lady fingers!