Half-Bakey Flakey in "That Thing That He Has!" (1) by biped 7-21-10

...and, this thing that I have gets stiff when I think about Betty White, and, and, it has two wrinkly things hanging off of-- Holy shit, kid, you're talking about your DICK AND BALLS. PFFFT!!! Boy, are you DUMB! ...and (sob) he said all the other boys had them, too. I thought I was the only one... (blubber)I th-thought-- Flakey, Granny Nakerson is dead. It is your duty to lick away her bad aura and suck the unclean spirits out through her toes.

Half-Bakey Flakey in "That Thing That He Has!" (2) by biped 7-21-10

...and it's still stiff. Like a pickle! Jeez, kid... you are one seriously fucked-up asshole. I think I'm gonna be s-s-sick... (GAG!) ...and he pooked up, Mommy! Tee-hee! I got the last laugh this time! Now maybe he won't think he's so big-- Flakey, your blood has purified Granny's spirits. Now it is time to re-inject them back into her with your "cobbler's awl."

Half-Bakey Flakey in "That Thing That He Has!" (3) by biped 7-21-10

...so now, it's all shriveled up, and I found out that sometimes, spirits are, like, all gooey. ...and, and he didn't say anything bad! He just looked at me, like I was a big boy, like--like him! Well done, Flakey. As a reward, you may spend your entire weekend in the visitation shed with Daddy's remains.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Here are the rest of the Flakeys...

Half-Bakey Flakey by biped 4-09-09

Hi, I'm "Flakey" Nakerson. I'm always all-the-way naked underneath my clothes (tee hee) PFFFT! So the fuck what? Everybody's naked under their fucken clothes... DUMBASS!!! Mommy...M-Mommy... (sob) you... you said I was "special"... y-you said... It is time for you to take that spiritual journey into the wilderness now. Goodbye, Flakey.

Flakey Nakerson in: "Half-Bakey Flakey's New Snakey" (1) by biped 9-12-09

...so I pushed my new pony off an overpass and a tanker truck hit it and blew up. I felt bad, but (tee hee) it was a GOOD bad. Why, you fucken asshole. Every kid would love to have a pony, and when YOU get one, look what the fuck you do with it. PFFFT. Mommy, may I have another pony, please? I think I've learned my less-- Your new snake ate the baby. I can still hear its muffled cries from within the snake's bloated abdomen. Well, happy birthday, Flakey. (Mmmwaaahhh... mmmfff, mmm-waaaaahhh...)

Flakey Nakerson in: "Half-Bakey Flakey's New Snakey" (2) by biped 9-12-09

...and you can still here it in there, sort of crying a little... Holy SHIT!!! And you mean to tell me you didn't even TRY to grab, like, a knife or something, and CUT IT THE FUCK OUT? PFFFT!!! Mommy, I had a great idea today if baby's still alive in the snake, and, and we could, like-- Flakey, you are a man now. It's time for your extensive sexual "joining" with the oldest living member of our clan.

Half-Bakey Flakey in "Time Out For Burgers" by biped 9-15-09

RUMP!!! (sigh) Look, kid--shouting out obscenities at passing cars is no fun unless you use REAL dirty words. DOO-DOO!!! Oh, for-- FUCK!!! SHIT!!! ASSHOLE!!! CUNNILINGUS!!! Mommy, I'm suddenly hungry for some asshole cunnilingus with fuck-shit dressing. We'll have that tomorrow. I have already made dripping dog cunt blowjob burgers.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Omigod, this series is hilarious.  I do love me some flakey goodness.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

Every time I start to lose faith in humanity, biped comes out with another series and helps me learn to laugh again.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Thanks for the refreshingly non-derogatory comments!  Here's a follow-up:

Half-Bakey Flakey In "A Tribute To Biped" (1) by ZMannZilla 7-21-10

...and that smell is the smell of pure evil. So that's why I'm not allowed to eat baked beans no more. WHAT? It's called a fart, dumb-ass, and it stinks because it comes out of your BUTT! Holy shit you're stupid! ...and I just didn't think he should be using Lord Shit's name in vain. So I tattled on him. Then he had to go to detention! Tee-hee! All who oppose Lord Shit shall suffer in purgatory. Take this offering of Snausages upstairs to Lord Shit and await further instructions. ...and it's like she's just this vacant, emotionally unavailable cow or something. I really wish she'd open up to me a bit more. MORE SNAUSAGES

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Thank you, I needed a laugh.

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Kill Whitey.

Half-Bakey Flakey in: "All the Fixin's" by biped 4-06-11

...and I thought Daddy was flying. Like Superman, YAAAAY! But he was really just hanging on a meathook. Uh-huh... (urp) Mommy! Mommy! I told "Big Shot" Billy about how Daddy died today, and he was all like "Wow, Flakey!", and, and-- Flakey, I bartered one of your kidneys in return for your mandatory body modifications. "Doctor Metamorpho" will see you now. NEXT!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Half-Bakey Flakey in: "It Only Gerts When You Laugh" by biped 8-23-11

Guess what? I watched "Goldfinger" last night, and now Gert Frobe is my new hero! GERT FROBE? HA HA HA HA HA HA! What a dweeb! (sob) He...he laughed at me about Gert Frobe, Mommy, and...and... Flakey, it is now time for you to enter the blood enslavement pact with King Vampire.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Half-Bakey Flakey in: "Jogey's Coming!" 1 by biped 12-30-11

JOGEY'S COMING! JOGEY'S COMING! Mrs. Hudson! Mrs. Hudson! JOGEY! JOGEY'S COMING! JOGEY! JOGEY! JOOOOOGEEEEEY! Well, who the FUCK is "Jogey"? UMMMM! I'm not going to tell you because you said a BAD WORD. You are BAD. You do not get to find out about JOGEY. ...and then she said the "eff" word...the "EFF" WORD! In the same sentence as she said JOGEY! I warned you not to talk about Jogey to people who do not exist. Mrs. Hudson does not exist.

Half-Bakey Flakey in: "Jogey's Coming!" 2 by biped 12-30-11

...but I can't talk to you about Jogey because you don't exist, so I can't tell you that... that... JOGEY'S COMING! JOGEY'S COMING! JOGEY! JOGEY! JOOOOGEEEEY'S COMING!!! Well, tell him to stop jackin' off. HAWWWW HAW!!! ...and, and, then he said...he said about Jogey...he said...(pant, pant) he, he, he said...he said about Jogey... Flakey, you have violated the Prime Directive of Jogey. You must now live in the "charnel shed of judgement" until Horror Baby decides your fate.

Half-Bakey Flakey in: "Jogey's Coming!" 3 by biped 12-30-11

...but he didn't give me a too-bad fate because I begged real good! I begged and begged, and spanked myself, and, and... Holy shit, kid! SHUT UP! ...and I could tell "Big-Shot Billy" was jealous about me getting to meet Jogey today! Oh boy, I can't wait-- Jogey has come and gone. But he has blessed you with a betrothal to the next person who randomly enters your mind. Think fast, Flakey.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.