Hey folks, I'm coming back to writing some comics in my theme of history's greatest fail moments. Well, apart from the first one. Some I think are quite funny, some not as much, but there you go. Enjoy and rate!

What Stephen King really meant by RetardedHistory 8-02-10

Look Ms Meyer...me, Randall, Mr Barlow, Annie Wilkes, Christine, Cujo and Henry Bowers all think you should stop writing those books of yours. They're not very good. Well, what if I don't? ...I'm sure I don't need to tell you what some of the most diabolic characters in 20th century literature could dream up. I have no idea. Oh, sorry...I forgot you're totally devoid of imagination and creative vision.

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Why serfdom was retarded by RetardedHistory 8-02-10

So, let's run through this again. I'm not a SLAVE...to a person. I'm owned by the land. The land is my master Well, the owner of the land, but yeah. The land rules you. So, if I have a labour dispute, I discuss it with the land? I talk to the soil? You'd be a serf. Serfs don't have labour issues. They get whipped. Whipped by the land?? No, by...let's go over this again.

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Why Genghis Khan was retarded by RetardedHistory 8-02-10

This is it, my king! We stand at the gateway of the Steppes, ready to make all of Europe tremble! Soon the infidels will bow to us! Right, Europe, yeah...I don't know, Temaka, you ever get the feeling you can't be arsed? You c...you can't be arsed? Might Khan, you cannot stall our empire's inevitable progress on the grounds that you can't be arsed! Europe must be seized! Virgins raped! Territories conquered! Mehhh...do we have to? I mean, really? But it will lead to ruination of our mighty empire! We must expand westwards! It is our destiny! Mehhh....

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Why the Crusades were retarded, redux by RetardedHistory 8-03-10

Sir Roland has been killed in Judea Ah, St Peter! I think you'll find my name on the list. Ah, good lad! So, you've turned the other cheek, let him without sin cast the first stone, done unto others as they should do onto you, all that stuff? Well...not exactly. But I DID strike down the enemies of Christ with my holy blade, persecute and eliminate the infidels in the Holy Land and recapture Jerusalem for our Father in a river of blood. Uh...I see. The bastards always get you on the fine print. It's unfair, is what it is.

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Why the wild west was retarded. by RetardedHistory 8-03-10

Hey, Bill. You ever wonder what guys like us must do on the plains? Ridin' around, months on end lookin' for bandits and game? No women for a hundred miles? Er...Not really, Dale. It involves anal sex, Bill- Please, stop. NOW.

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Some are better than others, but overall, I LIKE.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Yes, I am generally a fan of this idea, even if the execution sometimes falls a little flat.  You are welcome to continue overstaying your welcome.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Thanks guys. Have decided to diversify from the theme a bit since, but I hope you like these:

St Peter says FML by RetardedHistory 8-14-10

So, right...you had sex in a darkened room. You then CONTINUED asking "who's there?" when your boyfriend went missing and saying "come on guys, this isn't funny". Yep. But it was only after you went upstairs that the deranged killer hacked you to pieces. That's it. Can I have eternal peace now? HELL no, I just spent the last half an hour screaming "DON'T GO UP THERE, HE'S HIDING IN THE BATHROOM!" at the TV.

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Why videogames are sometimes retarded by RetardedHistory 8-14-10

Can't we just attack him now? Seriously? No. And stay still. Wait... What are we waiting for? For him to use VATS. Duh.

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Office politics by RetardedHistory 8-14-10

You're firing me?!?! Is this because I gave your daugher a urinary tract infection? I dont, uh, have a daughter. Wow, then that night really was a total loss.

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Glad your back

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Resident Masochist & Adrenaline Junkie -I'm probably not god but you should worship me just in case-

Thanks alot, and for the comment!

Landlord problems by RetardedHistory 8-17-10

Oh, uh, hey. I really don't have the rent this month. Been a tough one, ya know? Hmm. Well, maybe we could...er...come to (wink) some sort of arrangement instead? So then she was all like, "I didn't mean harvesting my organs" and *I* was all like, terms of lease, bitch! Ha ha ha

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For those that bother to watch the adverts... by RetardedHistory 8-19-10

So Jane...I'll see you at the weekend. Yeah. The weekend. *Sigh* What should happen next? Text or ring to 34343. Hello, BT? What happens next is Kris Marshall goes back to sitcoms instead of dicking around with these stupid soap opera phone ads.

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When you work in an office... by RetardedHistory 8-16-10

Oh, alright Mick? Dave. So it was you whistling "Islands in the Stream" in the cubicle. He he, yeah. Good song. I would have joined in if I wasn't incredibly fucking freaked out.

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The Adventures of Captain Ignorant by RetardedHistory 8-14-10

Captain Ignorant! Thank God you're here! I'm lost and I don't know the way home! Never fear, citizen, I'll take you home! That's not what I meant, damnit.

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Some historical gems here. Its good to see a young stripper taking an interest in history. Warms the cockles and whatnot...

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Kill Whitey.

Thanks! I do love my history, even though my recent comics have strayed slightly I guess.

Ouch. Ouch. by RetardedHistory 9-27-10

Jesus, what happened to you? I stupidly tried to shave drunk But...but you're bloody all over Yeah... Drunk me wants to swim in the Olympics

It rules us all by RetardedHistory 11-16-10

I gently caress you, running my hands down there. I moan with a heightened pleasure, ready to recieve. I slowly start kissing your body, feeling your warmth. I throw a flashbang grenade, then shield my eyes while spraying you with machine gun shots. Alright, alright, go back to playing Black Ops Whopee!

You Never Go Ass To Mouth by RetardedHistory 11-17-10

Hey, have you heard about that new film the Human Centipede? When this crazy kraut doctor sews three people together by anus to mouth? Yeah, and the guy has to shit in the girl's mouth. I hear it's horrible. Oh...he shits in *her* mouth? Not...the other way around? ...Never mind. You know, every day I wonder why I'm friends with a pervert like you. My rapier wit? ...

Hip Hop Cop by RetardedHistory 3-06-11

So, once again, sir...where did you leave your wallet? El Segundo. That is very amusing sir, but wasting police time is a felony. NOW how do I get home?

Some non-historical ones.