McCoy LLC, A Family Company by ZMannZilla 4-11-11

Here at McCoy LLC, we think of our employees as family. Great! Can't wait to get started. Well, before you do, here's some paperwork for you to fill out. OK, I recognize the W-4 for my taxes, the non-disclosure agreement and the flex-spending application, but what's this one? Adoption papers. Welcome to the family! WHAT?!

McCoy LLC, A Family Company by ZMannZilla 4-11-11

Hey, I have a problem. Great, you can tell me! Remember, here at McCoy LLC, we think of our employees as family. Well, good. So my supervisor has been saying some pretty cruel things to my face, mostly about my appearance and race. Yes, I see. Well, I'll let you off with a warning this time, but in the future, try to remember that it's inappropriate to bring up your family problems in the workplace. Oh, C'MON! That's insane! Don't you take that tone with me, young man.

McCoy LLC, A Family Company by ZMannZilla 4-11-11

We really need to talk. Any time, my good man! After all, here at McCoy LLC, we consider our employees to be like family! So that explains why you're the beneficiary on my life insurance policy? Well, sure! No amount of money would take away the grief we would feel at your loss, but at least we could pay for your funeral expenses! Yeah, I think I want to quit now. You can't quit, you're still grounded for another two weeks.

McCoy LLC, A Family Company by ZMannZilla 4-11-11

Sir, we really need to discuss this. Of course! After all, here at McCoy LLC, we consider our employees to be like family! That's what I want to talk about. I thought it was just a metaphor when I took the job. I'm not down with the whole "we really are family" thing. Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, son. Go on, I won't stop you. Good. Here's the address you can send my last paycheck to. Nice try, kiddo, but like I said at dinner, no allowance until you wash my car.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

For the life of me, I can't seem to come up with a good incest joke for this series.  It seems like it'd be perfect for an incest joke.  Any strippers out there (member or otherwise) think they could take a crack at a McCoy LLC style incest joke?

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

These are great.  I'm sure you'll come up with that incest joke if you just ponder on it to an unhealthy degree for awhile.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.