If at first you don't succeed, it's likely you're going to fail repeatedly.

If at first you do succeed, it's most likely because you used deodorant.

So, I've put my deodorant on and I'm ready to successfully pass this contest onto either of at least two entrants. I have given much thought on how to entice entries, and I have figured out that it might happen by sending dirty p.m.'s (of the downright kind), to other users.

Along with the dirty p.m. (of the downright kind) strategy, I have simplified this FTC in a number of ways, which are below-

Rules:

1- Fill in the dialogue after monkey asks the question.

The template is below...

/comics/iconoclastic/556622/

/comics/ragu4u/556643/

/comics/edoggydog/556659/

I don't usually enter these so-called "More", or as I think of them, "Lesser", Comic Competitions, but iconoclastic sent me a nice P.M., which was very helpful because my Parliament had been just twiddling its thumbs without one, so, in return, here you go:

/comics/evil_d/556681/

/comics/HCRoyall/556682/

/comics/four_legged_tripod/556687/

I had blown it so bad with this FTC that I didn't expect to ever have more than 1 entry. So I appealed to several of you with the "dirty" p.m.'s.

I'm going to assume that at least 2 or 3 responses were based on some degree of empathy for my position.

I then realized that "Oh yeah, one of them has to be picked as the winner". Then, after I realized that, I realized that this was hard to do, and that once again I was being forced against my will to do just that. If I could (but I know that I can't), I would kiss all your feet in slobbering (and I know nobody wants that), thanks.

So, since I found them all highly enjoyable (and this is true), I was still stuck. Then I realized that one entrant had revealed something about themselves (outside of the comic), which I appreciated learning very much. I had suspected it to be true, but had never seen it layed out there so clearly and straighforward, and it was done without apology. This cinched the deal for me. Everyone else may have already been enlightened, but not me... oh no... I take for f'ing ever sometimes.

The winner is evil_d, and I pledge to enter his contest, and I pledge to do so with a good effort, and I hope that his experience of these red-headed stepchild competitions is affected in a positive way, just as mine has been.

My true thanks to you all.

Acknowledged, and thank you.

I think I had an idea for the next contest, but now I don't remember.  Give me some time to mull it over.