You're My Buddy by JD__ 2-17-15

Hold your arms out like this. Ok. Great, now cross your arms and put your hand on your chin. Gotcha. Ok, now hammer the nail into your forehead. This is why we can't hang out, anymore.

You're My Buddy by JD__ 2-17-15

Holy crap, I can't afford this. What? There is just no way. What? What is it? Let me see! I really didn't think it through. I am such an idiot. One nail removed from forehead: $1,200.

You're My Buddy by JD__ 2-17-15

What are you thinking about? I just got an amazing idea. Oh, yeah? Well, let's have it. Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick...

You're My Buddy by JD__ 2-17-15

I can't go on like this and have decided to turn my life around. So, I joined a self-help group. Hmm...interesting. Please, go on. The group meets every Tuesday night at the community center. I volunteered to bring refreshments to the next meeting. You don't say. What are you bringing? A big bag of fresh hammers and nails. I need new friends.

You're My Buddy by JD__ 2-17-15

I thought you had given that stuff up. Relax, man. A guy can't hold a perfectly harmless hammer and nail in his hands? I'm thinking of making a fancy spice rack for my extensive array of peppercorn jars. You're absolutely right and I'm sorry. You've been going to all your Tuesday night meetings at the community center. I'm probably just... ...overreacting.

You're My Buddy by JD__ 2-18-15

What you reading? Home Depot brochure. Seems they're having a huge clearance sale on premium hand tools, you know, screwdrivers, saws, ham... ...mers. He's gone, isn't he?

You're My Buddy by JD__ 2-18-15

Thanks for the birthday gift hammer and nail. My pleasure. You're a great friend and I wanted to give you something memorable on your special day. Hey, could I borrow that stuff for a sec. God, I hate you.

Great stuff! Keep up the good work!

You're My Buddy by JD__ 2-18-15

Well? Nothing. This is doing absolutely nothing for me. Not a thing. So, nooo, I don't quite "get it" now.

It's kind of a cliché around here for newbies to write dumb comics with the nail-in-head guy.  But these comics aren't dumb; they're pretty clever.  Some of them work by just threatening a head-nailing but not actually showing it.  So, good job.  I liked them.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

You're My Buddy by JD__ 2-19-15

Where is everyone? I thought you said you were having a party? I lied about the party to get you to this intervention. Now, I've written down some of my feelings, so bear with me. "I care about you and can't watch your addiction continue to destroy..." I don't have an addiction. You don't...what? Then, what in the name of Zeus is that thing sticking out of your forehead? What thing? And who's this Zeus dude? #@*$&*!

You're My Buddy by JD__ 2-19-15

Why the long face? It's a letter from my mom. Rough news. Seems my dad's passed away. She told you this in a letter? Yeah, yeah, I know. Let's just say my mother's a bit old-fashioned and leave it at that. A letter? Aren't you late for an appointment with a hammer and a nail?

I second what evil_d said.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

You're My Buddy by JD__ 2-19-15

Did you catch SNL's 40th anniversary special the other night? Yeah, it was amazing. So many great memories. Bet you were as surprised as I was they didn't show that Dana Carvey sketch where he hammers a nail into his forehead. Total classic. Dana Carvey never did a sketch like that. You're just a big heapin' pile o' messed-up, aren't you?

You're My Buddy by JD__ 2-20-15

You don't give a flying rat's ass anymore, do you? Nope.

You're My Buddy by JD__ 2-20-15

Holy bouncing boiler plates! What in the name of Wayne Gretzky is that thing way over yonder? I thought you said you didn't care anymore. I can be such a shameless liar.

You're My Buddy by JD__ 2-21-15

Can I ask you a very personal question? I suppose. Well, what is it? Nothing, really, I just wanted to know whether or not you were chill with very personal questions. I do recall a pressing need to get new friends.

You're My Buddy by JD__ 2-21-15

Can I ask you a very personal question? I suppose. Well, what is it? Oh, nothing specific, for the moment. I'm just confirming you're on board with me delving deeply into your most private and very personal of affairs. I do recall a pressing need to get new friends.

You're My Buddy by JD__ 2-21-15

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