Now that we put the last serial strip to bed, how would you strippers feel about putting on a christmas show? Spankling could make the costumes, LadyJ could design the sets, DragonXero could play the music, and Gabe_Billings could provide the livestock.

Instead of working the 'show' like a serial strip, I suggest we input strips whenever we get an idea, that way to better capture the chaos of an elementary school christmas pageant.

The First Annual Stripcreators Christmas Special by israphael 11-28-01

Ladies and gentlemen I'd like to welcome you to the First Annual Stripcreators Christmas Special. We have a lots of entertainment planned. I guarantee it will be a real pantload. Shortly Tobor and Clango will dance Swan Lake, Attitudechicka will do her knife throwing act, and Gabe will be doing some sort of act with animals. So sit back, relax, and enjoy. BOOOOOOOOO! GET OFF THE STAGE! YEAH, YOU SUCK!

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

Jesus in Utero by ObiJo 11-29-01

Look, Mary, there's a little inn right over there. Let's see if they can put us up. Okay, Joseph. The Son of God shall Wo, wo, wo, motherfucking wo. Stop right there. Special Agent Thomson, ACLU. If you want this play to continue, there'll have to be some changes. Look, Mary, there's a little clinic right over there. Let's demonstrate our con...our con...our con-sssti-too-shon-al...Oh! ...our CONSTITUTIONAL right to choose. Okay, Joseph. The non-divine fetus shall be no more.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Not quite elementary school, except perhaps for the scriptwriters who had trouble with some of the hard words ...

The Three Not-So-Wise Men by kaufman 11-29-01

Hello, baby Jesus. I have come from afar to bring you the gift of cold. I bring you spanklingessence. And I bring you Mir.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Christmas Music by DragonXero 11-29-01

I know I was supposed to help write the music for this, but I've run into a little snag. No, I haven't had any problems writing the music itself, actually, I have a very well put-together 64-piece orchestra, as well as some guest musicians... I just can't think of anything that rhymes with "Christ's rotting carcass".

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Satan Claws by DragonXero 11-29-01

I need some help here. What's the problem? Well, I want to do a sorta parody of a metal song... can't think of what to write about though. Well, don't you have any songs that talk about Satan? Well, yeah, but, what does that ha- Ohhhhh! *smirk*

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Kajun plays God for the last time! by Geniu$ 11-29-01

God visited Mary and told her of the arrival of their son! HEY MARY, I AM GOD, I WILL NOW IMPREGNATE YOU WITH MY ONLY SON! really? me? you've got to be kidding, is this a wind up? you, like, want to impregnate me? But lo, Joseph was an atheist, and believed not in God! Hey Mary, who the fuck are you talking to? Come over here, I've had a hard day carpenting! and so they rode away on their little donkey! Wh....Th....Fu.....?? I'M GOD, DAMMIT!! Neeeiiiggghh...... Clippity Clop Clippity Clop Clippity Clop!

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Dad was flammable

I was going to use this one to introduce the next CC I ran, but since that's not going to happen anytime soon...

Christmas Special by NeoVid 11-29-01

My birthday's on the 25th, and that sucks! I only get half as many presents, because everyone thinks I won't know the difference! Nobody remembers you when your birthday's on Christmas. Tell me about it.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Creative Differences by israphael 11-29-01

Damn it, Andy! This script of yours is all fucked up. You have the visitation happening after the trip to Bethlehem. Well, I was trying to go for a Quintin Tarantino-like non-linear plotline. Just fix it! The audience has no idea what the hell is going on and are leaving. Sorry, the shoot-out between the manger animals and Herod's troops has been cancelled That's whack! I was looking forward to seeing Spankling as the Gimp.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

The spirit of Christmas by Kitty_Kat 11-29-01

Hello Mary. How are you tomorrow You mean today. How the fuck would you know what I mean?? Hey, it's not my fault if you're a moron. OW HEY THATS MY RIBCAGE!!!!!!!!!!!

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My life totally and completely REEKS.

The Wisemen and Shepard Visit by Spankling 11-29-01

Good evening holy... um... virgin, is it? *snicker*. *snicker* Yeah, hi hole-E virgin. *snicker* *shhh* Word on the street is you popped it with God and now you got his son in there. Can we see? *sigh* Help youreselves wiseguys. Don't bother guys! It's just another newbie. I'm thinking of calling him ElvisShitter.

I thought I posted this once... where did it go?

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Jingle Bells - Eastaugh Style. by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 11-29-01

Jingle Bells , Crabby Smells , Alison ran away Spankling Lost his Anal Probe. And Dexx is Clearly Gay.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me by kaufman 11-29-01

An orange and white kitty.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me by kaufman 11-29-01

Two Asian girls and an orange and white kitty.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me by kaufman 11-29-01

Three pink donkeys, two Asian girls, and an orange and white kitty.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me by kaufman 11-29-01

Four mohing skulls, three pink donkeys, moh. moh. two Asian girls, and an orange and white kitty. moh. moh.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me by kaufman 11-29-01

Five wirthling heads, four mohing skulls, three pink donkeys, two Asian girls, and an orange and white kitty.

[Click to view comic: 'On the sixeth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me'][Click to view comic: 'On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me'][Click to view comic: 'On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me'][Click to view comic: 'On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me'][Click to view comic: 'On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me'][Click to view comic: 'On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me'][Click to view comic: 'On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me']

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

You got me with the eleven cornholings... oh jeezus.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

All together now.

"Kaufman, you magnificent bastard."

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Sung to the tune of Winter Wonderland - Episode 1 by fuzzyman 11-29-01

Sirens ring... are you listenin'? In the lane.. fallout's glistenin'! A horrible sight... We're deformed tonight! Walkin' in a Nuclear Wasteland!

Sung to the tune of Winter Wonderland - Episode 2 by fuzzyman 11-29-01

Gone away is the bluebird... There's all dead... all the bluebirds! Society's gone! I'm wearing a thong! Walkin' in a Nuclear Wasteland!

Sung to the tune of Winter Wonderland - Episode 3 by fuzzyman 11-29-01

In the rubble we can build an ash-man... ...and pretend that he is Jimmy Dean! He'll say, "Got some sausage?" We'll say, "No, man..." "...but I hear that my friend here's very lean!"

Sung to the tune of Winter Wonderland - Episode 4 by fuzzyman 11-29-01

Later on, we'll perspire... ...in the heat of the fire! And drink Atom-ade... ..beneath atom-shade! ...Walkin' in a Nuclear Wasteland!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Oh Buuuuutt hole deviiiiine! by Bogart 11-29-01

OH HOLY RUMP, YOUR SPHINKTER BRIGHTLY SHIIIIINING! FAAAAAAAL ON YOUR KNEEEEEES! OH HEAR THE HYDROOOOOLICS! AHHHHHHH!

Lighten Up Charley Brown by Bogart 11-29-01

Can't ANYONE tell me the meaning of Christmas?!? No, but I can make you forget all about it. Damn it! I used to know... IT MEAN GIVING TILL IT HURTS! TOBOR CLAUS WANT YOU! Oopsie... maybe I shouldn't have pissed on the tree.

God help us, everyone...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Oh Rudolph! by Bogart 11-29-01

*sniff* *sniff* *sniff* What have those elves been feeding you? You think you got it bad? Dasher has his nose up my ass the whole trip!

Frosty and his idiot friend by Bogart 11-29-01

They got 8 inches of snow up by Bogart's house the other day. Heh... Heh... heh heh... Heh hee heh... heh... 8 inches... Heh...

Commercial Break #1 by israphael 11-29-01

The open road calls to me. Every morning before work, I get up, get on my bicycle, and ride twenty miles come rain or shine. I don't always want to do it. Sometimes I'd like to stay in bed for another hour. But I don't. This routine make me a better person. -----------------------Got Milk?----------------------- For one hour every morning, I am truly free. I am a woman. I have dreams. I have goals. I have breasts.

What self respecting Christmas Special doesn't have frequent and annoying commercial breaks.

Ok, so I had trouble coming up with one seasonal enough, it's still annoying.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

Jolly Old Elf, My Ass! by israphael 11-29-01

Hey boys and girls it's now time to say hello to that jolly old elf in the red suit! That's right, let's have a big round of applause for Santa Clau- RAR! RAR! RAR! MERRY CHRISTMAS! BEND OVER AND TOBO- UM- I MEAN- SANTA WILL GIVE YOU A LITTLE HOLIDAY CHEER! Tobor get off the damn stage! And stop poking everyone with your 3 foot long hydraulic candy cane!

Do You Smell What I Smell? by israphael 11-29-01

Well, that was a suprise! I promised that the boys and girls will get to see Santa! And damn it they're gonna see Santa! But while I track down Santa, I will leave you in the capable hands of Clango who has a comedy routine he assures me will knock your socks off! Pull my finger.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

Why I hate office Christmas parties by lara7 11-30-01

I drew your name in the office gift exchange. I hope you like what I got you. Why thank you! You're so sweet! Uh, I got you this..... Secret SANTA, you idiot!