batFucker
Junior Comic Technician
Member Rated:

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| Kids can say some fucked up shit now'a'days. This fucking girl-- couldn't have been more than 11 years old-- threatened to kill me the other day. | |
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| "See? That's why I got you all tied up," I says. | |
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| Pretty good date, all in all. | |
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| So I bought some condoms for this weekend. Shit's expensive. | |
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| Bought some anal lube too. And picked up a bottle of gin. | |
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| If this is your idea of hitting on me: No. No way in the hell am I coming over. I don't even know you. Fucking creep. | |
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| Oh. No. I'm busy this weekend. Gonna be pet sitting my neighbor's dog. | |
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| Had to urgently shit yesterday while out. So I had to shit in public. But I was constipated. Shit was taking forever, so some dude starts hassling me. | |
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| I told him to fuck off. It wasn't his lawn, so he should mind his own business. | |
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| Turns out it was his lawn. | |
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| I've been trying to cut shit out of my budget lately. Just trying to get down to the necessities. Cut out a lot: Fast food, soda, paper towels, fancy shampoo... | |
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| Oh. Just shit at work then? That really is the way to do it dude. Get paid to shit and never have to buy TP. | |
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| Oh. No. I got fired. I never leave the house anymore. | |
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| I was called a creep the other day. "It is totally inappropriate for you to hit on me, fucking creep." Blah, blah, blah. | |
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| So I says, "Calm down, Mom. Fucking christ. You're totally ruining Mother's Day." | |
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| I took back her gift after that too. Those condoms were expensive. | |
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