Oy veh. Participating in the contests is a lot more fun than starting and judging them. Maybe I'll have to create a contest so sucky that nobody will dare pick me as a winner again. Heh heh heh...

Here are the rules for Comic Contest #6:

1. The theme of the comic is "why wirthling sucks." It is not important that you know anything about me. You can use what you do know about me or just make something up about me. Put words in my mouth, make me look like an asian girl, just talk about what a sorry ass loser I am, or whatever. Just dis me hard.

2. Use any character, prop, or background.

3. Title your comic "Comic Contest #6" followed by whatever alternate title you want.

4. This contest ends Thursday 2/22 at 11pm EST.

That's it...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

For the record, my birthday is on Friday, and winning the comic contest would be a great gift. ;)

Comic Contest #6 - I'm evil for a reason by BigEvilDan 2-20-01

wirthling, you are a complete and utter fool who has feet for ears! Sorry, that doesn't really bother me. I mean, I don't have feet for ears in real life. Hmmm...in that case...your mother was a hampster! And all your base are belong to me! Now that just doesn't make any sense, Dan. Surely you can be more evil than that! Look at your nickname, dammit! Well, you asked for it, wirthling. You can come down when you judge the winner or appeared in 20 crappy strips. Hey! This isn't what I meant when I said you should be evil! Let me down! Please? .......This sucks.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Wirthling is a doody-head.

Comic Contest #6 - Wirthling Sucks Big Time by gabe_billings 2-21-01

Well, wirthling poll results are in. Lowpass readers think he sucks more than cauliflower, Wayne Newton and cholera. 34 percent of readers think stoning is too good for him, and 83 percent would like to see him ravaged by woodchucks. Somebody even wants to see him sodomized by a donkey. That one kinda came out of left field. Guilty.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Gabe, yours kicks ass. Going up against some of you guys, I don't stand a chance of winning. :)

Oh, and wirthling, nothing personal. :)

Comic Contest #6:A Night @ The Improv(special guest - Jesus) by descolada99 2-21-01

Wirthling is sooo fat, he beeps when he walks backwards! Wirthling is sooo ugly, his parents had to tie a porkchop around his neck so the dog would play with him! Wirthling is sooo dumb, he got hit by a parked car! Wirthling sucks sooo much, even *I* don't love him! Dude, that was harsh. But I don't! Really! The 11th Commandment says "And lo, the one that shall be called Wirthling will be a fucking loser"

I'm moving this weekend, so I might have to sit the next one out...

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

One Good Turn Deserves Another by gabe_billings 2-21-01

Boy, that wirthling sure is a dickless, smelly, turd-eating felchmaster. You can only enter the contest once, you know. This entry doesn't count. I know.

Haha.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Comic Contest #5 by Lordfly 2-21-01

In the Elsyian fields of lowpass.net... Congratulations, Wirthling!! Yes! My pathetic being has finally won something! As recognition for being such a great strip writer, the Lowpass gang all pitched in and bought you this big pile of live hand grenades! Erm... I've gotta run, so I'll just scatter them at your feet, ok? Can I just get a gift certificate instead?

Well, I'm a dork, and named it wrong. Sowwy. :P

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Lordfly http://www.option42.com/ MSN: lordfly1@hotmail.com ICQ: 174581 AIM: JoshEikenberry

Here ya go. (I'm not banned yet am I?)

Comic Contest #6: Wirthless by Bottlerockett 2-21-01

As wirthling bears the flag of hate across the Lowpass fields... Why do I want to say "worthless" whenever you're around? Don't hate tha playa, hate tha GAME.

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http://wally.pgbco.com

Comic Contest #6 - Quantity by evil_d 2-22-01

I have it on good authority that wirthling -- or, as I like to refer to him, Amazed Porno Bunny -- was the gunman on the grassy knoll. Not only that, but he was the one who translated Zero Wing, too. Wirthling? You mean that guy who writes all those comics about Jesus and sodomy? I heard he gets puppies hooked on crack in his spare time. And that he was responsible for Vanilla Ice! Worse -- NKOTB. And New Coke. But ever since he got out of jail for shoving that old lady in front of a bus, he's been making his living by recruiting people into cults and taking all their money. That explains how he can afford to finance all those fascist revolutions. Word is, he owns a luxurious mansion with six separate torture chambers. Some say that was where Mother Theresa *really* died. No kidding. You know, that pedophile voted for Bush, too. He eats veal and dolphin for dinner every night. And he's getting a show on MTV where he'll do nothing but encourage kids to burn themselves. Oh... well, I guess he can't be all bad, then. I mean, MTV viewers....

I'd just like to say that if I win, the theme of my contest will also be "why wirthling sucks".

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Here, here. I vote we change the Comic Contest to the 'Why Worthling Sucks' contest and focus entirely on shredding his fragile ego daily.

Maybe we can take a road trip to his hometown and beat him up for real!

Gabe

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

quote:

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Here, here. I vote we change the Comic Contest to the 'Why Worthling Sucks' contest and focus entirely on shredding his fragile ego daily.

Gabe

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Well for some reason this dumb comic got posted twice. Don't cut off my head and eat my brains, please.And this probably won't work because I've never done it before. Sorry I'm such a loser.

Dang it! I wish I was a sock. Eh...let me try it again and if it doens't work then I'll go bathe in jello.

Oh screw it. It wasn't funny anyway.

love-
Manda

Looking for this, Manda?

Comic Contest #6--Sam Reveals his Newest Desire by Cute_Little_Manda 2-22-01

Hey Chester. I think I might have met the man of my dreams last night. The one who will sweep me off my feet and make love to me for years to come. Wow Sam! Did you catch his name? Well I don't think I heard it right, it was really loud at that NSync concert, but I think it was Wirthling. My god, can he dance! Um..Sam? Was he, by chance, wearing a Paul Simon Rocks t-shirt and reek of the newest fragrance by Elizabeth Arden? Actually....he was Chester! How did you know? Well Sam....it's a loooong story....

It's {comic}5113{/comic}, except you use the square brackets [].

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Wirthling, Master of His Domain by gabe_billings 2-22-01

Man, not only does wirthling suck, he's late too. Here it is 11:20 and still no votes. He's probably busy jacking off to a Victoria's Secret catalog he stole from his neighbor's mail slot. You know what we should do? Go over to his house and 'help him along' with his votes. By 'help him along' I assume you mean beat him with baseball bats? Of course. Let's go then.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

You all hate me! You really, really hate me!

Big Evil Dan - Surprisingly (perhaps), I really do have feat for ears in real life. It's too bad today isn't your birthday...

bunnerabb - I really like the phrase "narrow-assed hoobajoob". I plan on incorporating it into conversation whenever possible...

gabe_billings - My wife happens to like cauliflower. The gratuitous "One Good Turn Deserves Another" comic cannot be counted, but it does show your commitment to the task. The depth of your antipathy towards me is touching.

descolada99 - I always wanted something in the Bible named after me...

Lordfly - Comic Contest #5?! DISQUALIFIED!

Bottlerocket - I'm not sure if you dissed me or not. Sure, I'm carrying a confederate flag, but you gave me a pretty fly comeback...

evil_d - Hey! I was taking all the insults in the spirit of the contest until you blamed me for "New Coke"! That was uncalled for!

Cute Little Manda - I'm sorry. I didn't get it. Can you explain, "Was he, by chance, wearing a Paul Simon Rocks t-shirt and reek of the newest fragrance by Elizabeth Arden?"

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According to my chortlometer, the "winner" is...

http://www.lowpass.net/stripcreator/view.php?ID=4981

Comic Contest #6 - Wirthling Sucks Big Time by gabe_billings 2-21-01

Well, wirthling poll results are in. Lowpass readers think he sucks more than cauliflower, Wayne Newton and cholera. 34 percent of readers think stoning is too good for him, and 83 percent would like to see him ravaged by woodchucks. Somebody even wants to see him sodomized by a donkey. That one kinda came out of left field. Guilty.

I suppose that awarding Gabe Billings for anything is the final proof of why I suck. I obviously have no taste...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

I didn't steal the Victoria's Secret catalog from my neigbor - I was merely borrowing it...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Borrowing...yeah right. I want that catolouge back, wirthling.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

You're all a bunch of narrow-assed hoobajoobs. Gimme a little while to think this over and I'll post the next set of rules.

Gabe

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.