I.... :- ()

I won? :-)#)

Well, Goddamn. :-/

I really wasn't prepared for this. I mean, no, seriously. I just sort of tossed that one out there assuming I'd be disqualified because I couldn't really think of anything good.

Quick note: I wasn't really miffed about the "Wooden Badger" strips, that was just an accidental double post. I was hoping to get a larf out of it and posting it twice looked like I was bitching. I apologise.

Ummm... shit. Ok. I will post the rules for Comic Contest #8 by 11:30 P.M. E.S.T., Sunday, Feb. 25th. That's tonight for all of you who keep rolling your computer clocks back to keep your shareware from expiring. :)

See you then. And thanks for the win, y'all. I'll try to suck even less as Lowpass mutates into the runaway train it was designed to become.

bunner

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

No dancing allowed. Now you're fired.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Okay.... working under the notion that I haven't been fired, here is the outline for Comic Contest #8:

Any background.

Any character set.

What you must do is: Take a scene from "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens, and mutate it into a joke. Derivative productions of this, (Mr. Magoo, Scrooged, Et Ceterea....) are acceptable, as long as the reference is easily recognised.

So.... A scene from "A Christmas Carol", (Scrooge).... riff on it, make it funny. Sort of an MST3K with some Lowpass twisted humour added.

Entries are due by Tuesday, February 27th, 11:00 P.M. E.S.T.

If anybody has any specific problems with this theme, let me know and I'll modify it, or even just bin it, if the consensus is that the idea stinks.

God bless us. Everyone.

bunner

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Comic Contest #8 - Sorry, no witty subtitle by BigEvilDan 2-25-01

Who...who are you? Amazed Porno Bunny, I am the ghost of comics past. Why have you come here? Because you are an annoying jerk and I thought I'd show you the way you used to be. But wasn't I always an annoying jerk? Yeah, this is one of those "scared straight" type lessons.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Any uncultured fools who have yet to read [u]A Christmas Carol[/u] may find a copy at ftp://sailor.gutenberg.org/pub/gutenberg/etext92/carol10.txt. God bless Project Gutenberg.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Killer idea. I knew people would come up with more creative things than I'd originally thought.

Comic Contest #8 - Scrooge Sees the Light by gabe_billings 2-25-01

Spirit! Hear me! I am not the man I was. I will not be the man I must have been but for this intercourse. Assure me that I yet may change these shadows you have shown me, by an altered life? Well, you know... There was this sweet canary yellow Porsche Boxter I've had my eye on... Tell you what? You rub out Cratchit and his gimp kid instead of me, and you'll be sitting in rich Corinthian leather faster than you can say 'tiptronic shifting'. You're on, Scroogie. And make sure I get a CD changer.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Yon scurvy bunnerabb hath proposition'd a contest of wits the likes of which hath nay been seen since Mighty Votun clashed with Loge the Trickster! Hark, an entr'y breaks!

Comic Contest #8: That's NOT Yogurt! by Bottlerockett 2-25-01

The GHOST OF CHRISTMAS POST-APOCALYTIC FUTURE visits John Romero. In the FUTURE(!!!), we give each other SKIN(!!!!) for Christmas!!! Holy shit. Maybe I, John Romero, should be more selective about who I lay off in the future! The next morning... Hey, gimpy little kid! Didn't I fire your old man for making bad colored-lighting choices in my game, Daikatana?!? Yes, you did, John Romero! You are the devil and I hope you get haunted every Christmas! Well, as a matter of fact, it's already started! I was gonna give you some money to go buy some turkey and shit, but fuck off! I hate you, John Romero!

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http://wally.pgbco.com

When I said I promised to try and suck less? That doesn't start until Monday.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Comic Contest #8: Scrooge forgets his medication... by wirthling 2-26-01

Hey there, my boy! What day is it? I ain't your 'boy"! And it's Christmas Day, you senile old coot! Excellent, my boy! I want you to go down to the corner market and tell them to bring me their biggest turkey! Stop calling me "boy," Gramps! And this ain't a plantation - go get your own damn turkey, you turkey! Do it quickly, my boy, and I'll give you a shilling! A shilling?! This crazy-ass cracker be trippin'...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Goddamn. If I would have participated in the last contest and exerted all my strengths to come up with a comic that doesn't have an e in it and then have a comic picked that has an e in it...urggg. Well, let's just say I would have opened a big can of woopass on gabe. Well, maybe not since then I'd have to contend with Cute Little Manda, who's probably one bad mamajama.

Comic Contest #8 - Mama Told Me There'd be Days Like This by ObiJo 2-26-01

Oh God. Numb. Please Stop. Silence mortal! I have shown you the past. You will be visited by two more apparitions. Fear them and your evil ways! Mama. Please no more. Can't take images. Do not think that rivulet of urine impresses your contrition on me! I have shown you your present evils, but next you will be visited by the worst of ghosts, your future! Ebenezer? Did you just call me Ebenezer? I'm JEFF Scrooge. Woopsie.

Haha. I only wish you'd entered so I could've stuck it to ya. But alas....

Gabe

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I'm EntirEly surE you'll havE othEr opportunitiEs for Equally EnforcEd Equanimity, gabE.

***Today's mEssagE was brought to you by thE lEttEr E and thE numbEr sEvEn.***

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Damn it, boy! Stop usin' them big werds when you talkin' ta me!

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but assonance will never hurt you.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Don't make me bust out a can of whupassonance on you.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

http://www.lowpass.net/stripcreator/view.php?ID=5787

Comic Contest #8 - A Low Pass Christmas Carol by evil_d 2-26-01

...Scrooge, having his key in the lock of the door, saw in the knocker, without its undergoing any intermediate process of change -- not a knocker, but Marley's face. Knock knock knock, all day long. Knock knock knock while I sing this song. Okay, I give. You don't get off that easy, Scroogie. Tonight you shall be visited by three spirits: a cowboy, a pink donkey, and an axe-wielding squirrel.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

whupassonance? gabe, i like you, but you have gone too far this time. First, you allied yourself with the gourds. Okay, I told myself, he's young and impressionable, I can forgive him.

Next, you ritualistically sodomized my pet wooden badger. I could forgive this also. Lord knows after a few liters of Jim Beam I've been known to go out to the wood shop, find the nicest piece of oak and...but this isn't about me.

Finally, the E incident. Cringe. And whupassonace was the straw that broke the camel's back. Reconciliation is no longer an option. I'm calling you out if you're man enough. We must settle this in the most public and painful way possible. A trial by fire. Only one man left standing. So here it goes...

One two three four. I declare a thumb war.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

quote:

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First, you allied yourself with the gourds.

Next, you ritualistically sodomized my pet wooden badger.

Finally, the E incident. Cringe. And whupassonace was the straw that broke the camel's back.

One two three four. I declare a thumb war.

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Well....

That, and perhaps, this:

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

BLAAAA-HAHAHAHAH!

Your magniloquence is equivocably matched only by your perpetitude at creatizing abnumeral amountations of Hi-larious comical stripted anecdotiatums! You would be wisely to open negrotiations with the great Don King to promote representationalism!

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http://wally.pgbco.com

By the way: I really talk like that.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

THUMB war! THUMB war! Jesus Christ man! I declare a thumb war and you send Red Robot after me?! Luckily my wiles were too much for him and his attempts have been unsuccesful. He's now resorted to trying to gain access into my house by dressing up as the Avon Lady and telling me about a sample bottle of skin cream. Tempting, but I kept the door shut. You must try harder Gabe "The Comic Love Doctor" "Bringer of Avon Robots" Billings.

And sadly this is what happens when you spend 14 hours a day in a car driving cross country. I wouldn't have stayed sane if it wasn't for my finally realizing that the glove compartment was not only sentient but also a great conversationalist. But I digress.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

LOL! Goddamn that cracked me up. I'm glad I started bitching about the E contest just to get that comic out of it.

____________________________________________________
Dear Abby,

I recently bought a product from a gigantic red robot dressed as an Avon lady and bent on my personal destruction.
The expoliator has left some kind of rash which is accompanied by a burning sensation. Is this normal? Also, are you and Ann Landers really twins or are one of you cloned? You can tell me.

-Itchy in Ithaca

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.