I saw something coming with that device name, but not the Trix line.

Great series, Dan -- win or lose, it's strips like those that make this site worthwhile.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 98: Very Illuminating by NeoVid 2-05-02

I've uncovered the entire worldwide conspiracy! Really! They've sent guys to silence me! You gotta believe me... Yeah, sure. As soon as they show up- *SWOOSH* Oh no! MysteryNinja! ...I'll believe you. Um... Damn.

CC 98: Illuminated 2 by NeoVid 2-05-02

*BRRING* They must be calling to taunt us... LISTEN, YOU BASTARDS! YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE SOMEONE RIGHT OUT OF THE STATION WITHOUT_PAYING_FOR_IT! SHOW YOUR FACES SO WE CAN SHOVE EM UP YOUR- ...Wilson, this is the commissioner. Damn.

CC 98: Illuminated 3 by NeoVid 2-05-02

So the commish said we had to send our best guy, and that's you. No problem. You've already found the guy's trail, all I have to do follow it and try not to get killed. Three hours later... Hmm. Got this far, but now it looks like a dead end... This is the closet. You took the wrong door on the way out. I knew that.

CC 98: Illuminated 4 by NeoVid 2-05-02

The crazy guy was supposed to have said something about you people. It's the most we have to go on. He said you were Satan worshipers, but I didn't expect anything this disturbing... That's supposed to be "Satin worshipers," officer.

CC 98: Illuminated end by NeoVid 2-05-02

The, uh, worshipers told me what I needed to know. The rest of the investigation was an anti-climax that isn't worth talking about. Every climax is worth talking about. You saved me, and you managed to bust the leader of the conspiracy! Yep, my career's set for life, and now we know to always listen to raving maniacs. HOW DID YOU COPS MANAGE TO FIND ME? It was easy. You kept shouting the name of your organization, the Robot Alliance for the Advancement of Assault on Rectums.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Swindler's List (Part 1) by kaufman 2-05-02

Bongo, before I die, I just want you to have this. It's all the secrets I've stolen from this town. Die? Yes, it's time to leave this mortal coil. Farewell, old friend! Die? Help! Help! Well, might as well read the... OHMYGOD...

Swindler's List (Part 2) by kaufman 2-05-02

asiangirls don't swallow ... cowboys flunked science ... feetforears has buttfornavel ... clown killed Obijo ... littlegirl runs crime syndicate... kid wets bed ... jesus poisons ducks ... clango moonlights as a toaster ... maura has false teeth ... indypete wears maura's underwear ... tobor uses Viagra... pants has a glass eye ... spigot has a paste-on beard ... deuce made a face at the dinner table when he was 7, and it stuck that way ... decepticons can't hold his liquor ... ...Manilow ... jael repairs disposals in her sleep ... brad writes buggy software ... descolada won't admit he's a successful lawyer ... wirthling sucks ... gabe's mother writes his comics ... neovid wishes you a nice day ... spankling fears mice ... dan isn't big ... ladyj majored in conflict resolution ... kaufman's cat is stuffed ... ...splat contains Red Dye #2 ... zap is a sap ... tv gets poor channel 7 reception ... pc is a TRS-80 ... ashes contain asbestos ... and MIKE HIDES IN BONGO'S HOUSE!!!

Swindler's List (Part 3) by kaufman 2-05-02

Having heard his manifesto, the uncloaked townspeople pursue Bongo. I see a hundred torches in the distance. They're coming to get me! I wonder who will catch up with me first? Will it be Tobor or Toothgnip who gets my butt? Which comes first, the chicka or the elf? They're getting closer ... Wait a minute, there was one name missing from that list ... It's ...

[audio=Liberty_Bell_March]Monty Python's Flying Circus[/audio]

Swindler's List (Part 4) by kaufman 2-05-02

I thought I would find you here. Funny you're not out with the mob chasing me. I wanted to, but my parents said it was past my bedtime. Your parents, huh? how come I've never seen them? Oh, believe me, you have. Matter of fact, they're ... Forget it! I've seen enough James Bond films to know the villain should never explain his whole operation to the hero. But why? Why did you do all this? I did it ... for KICKS!

Swindler's List (Part 5) by kaufman 2-05-02

I'm so sorry about that, Mr. Bongo. Are you all right? Just a little clonk on the head, and ... hey! You're alive! Yes, since birth, Holly has known me as her father. Her "mother" and I have been engaged in ... Her mother???? ... a sting operation. And I'm allergic!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 98: The Real Conspiracy by Devin 2-05-02

Attention all of strip creator! It is time you know the truth! The mastermind behind this conspiracy is none other than *dramatic pause* drexle! Drexle is after the millenium comics! For Pete's sakes, stop writing and run away!

im sorry by Little_Sqirrel 2-05-02

hi bongo bongo? bongo? squeeze me

sorry for the crappyness, but i find stuff like this extremely funny

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I like big nuts and I can not lie!

"Millenium Comics?" Wha?

Kinda screwed up #3 but oh well...

CC 98: Behind Those Eyes I by Draconias 2-06-02

The world wasn't always like this... Life was good before it happened... I was a grad student from Berkley. I had my whole life ahead of me... Dude, let's like throw twinkes from the quad! Right on! I'll bring the beer.

CC 98: Behind Those Eyes II by Draconias 2-06-02

In the mitts of my experimentation... Did you see that one drop? It didn't even lose shape, splatter, or nuthin. I'm thinkin' twinkes could survive the apocalypse. We should write a paper about this. I met the girl of my dreams... Hey assholes! Quit throwing that shit you ruined my papers! You pricks! Fuck you! Whore! Dude, I think she likes me! Word!

CC 98: Behind Those Eyes III by Draconias 2-06-02

A twist of fate brought us together... She's in this class! Now if I could only find a way to impress her, show her I'm dangerous yet still in control... He's in this class! Now if I could only find a way to make him wink out of existance... A twist of fate brought us together... Good morning class, this lab will be making anti-matter an efficient energy source. Be careful screwing around with anti-matter could cause an apocalypse. A twist of fate brought us together... Jackpot! Jackpot!

CC 98: Behind Those Eyes IV by Draconias 2-06-02

No don't go! This isn't your classic story of boy meets girl and start screwing with anti-matter causing the apocalypse! I would never do something as cheap as summarize the whole story in one frame! There's more to it then that. Phew! Good thing we saved the world from the apocalypse! Bongo, your kinda sexy when you invent a time warping device to shoot the killer anti-matter beings that almost destroyed the planet into a black hole. Kiss me! Sorry I'm late guys, Famine's horse passed out from malnutrition, so I let him borrow my Saturn. I just hope he remembers to put oil in the goddamn thing. Dammit! This always happens when I'm about to get some.

CC 98: Behind Those Eyes V by Draconias 2-06-02

We decided to get married, have 2.5 kids, live the normal life. I had everything a man could want. Although there was always some odd sense of foreshadowing in our relationship... Do you take this women to be your wife even if she is hideously deformed by the apocalypse? I do! Maybe we shouldn't have went to Chernobal for our honeymoon? Look honey, they are serving oversized cockroaches with three heads on the room service menu! Honey! It's a boy! How the hell did we get .5 of a kid?!?!

[Click to view comic: 'CC 98: Behind Those Eyes VI']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 98: Behind Those Eye VII']

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"Hit me" "18" "Hit me" "19" "Hit me" "20" "Hit me" "21" "Hit me"

CC 98: Lesser of two evils? by Jabizo 2-06-02

I can sense something is wrong here. Does someone know my secret? I feel like I am being watched! KER-TRANS-FORM! WHA.. Oh No! Decepticons! That's right! We know you have the secret schematics to the control center of Gobotron! Egads! I KNEW IT! You're NOT decepticons! You're Renegades from the Gobots! You'll never get away with this!

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Vulgarity is simply the conduct of others. -Oscar Wilde

The Dreadful Truth About Stripcreator.com I by israphael 2-06-02

My life is hell. I dare not go out in public, so I stay in my room. I can't even sleep because of the horrors I've witnessed. For example, LadyJ is by day a viciously sadistic ball-buster. It really wasn't my fault. I was just... SHUT YOUR HOLE! One more word and I'll snap off your prick and use it as a toothpick. But by night, she undergoes a far more terrifying transformation. Oh Barbie, I love your catholic girl outfit. It's just so kicky. But let's find you a pretty dress for your date with Ken.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

I see someone is familiar with my work.

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Boogie Woogie Woogie!!

CC98: A Little Dab Will Do Ya by my_fawn_has_diarrhea 2-06-02

So we finally caught you, little Mr. bunny man. Please don't hurt me. I promise not to tell anyone about your connection to Stripcreator. No need to worry about that, we're going pubic. However, we still need to punish you for defying us. Cherry Flavored Anal-Eaze, Proud Sponsor of Stripcreator.com RAAAR!!!

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I'm half spit, by body weight.

CC98: It's all a lie by djsparkydog 2-06-02

Bongo disn't want to know... So I says those rotor tur... I can't do this anymore.... Speak your mind cowboy... But he's here to help Look Bongo... It's all a sham... a shallow lie... there never were any gravitons... and there never will be. I just wanted attention. *SOB* It's okay Cowboy let me introduce you to someone else who's been living a lie. This would be heartwarming if it wasn't so creepy. Tobor??? Tobor not really like cornhole... Tobor just want to snuggle and watch foreign films and drink nice cup of earl grey

This made me laugh... but I'm at work on a ten hour shift with a 102 degree fever... this probably won't be funny when my fever breaks tomorrow

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HAH! GORILLA, right there!

I thought it was funny. Then again, I suck.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

I'm glad you liked it. Here are nine more installments.

CC98: The Bongo Affair, part 10 -- Soliloquy by fpd 2-06-02

Captain Fawcett won't help me. How suspicious. Could he be in on the plot against me? Could Dr. Savannah or Mr. Mined be behind everything? Boys are weird. Bark, bark, woof, woof! Whatever is going on, I'm sure that the new Sarah Webber is involved. Why, I think she must be a betrayer. Yes, I recall that Sarah was kidnapped by the Baileys and replaced by a betrayer. Creegan must be behind it all, and I must head to Port Charles to confront the betrayer Sarah Webber.

I used
tags in the first dialogue box, but they didn't remain in the saved version. I had trouble creating a corrected version. So just imagine a line break where a capital follows a nonspace letter.

CC98: The Bongo Affair, part 11 -- Travel by fpd 2-06-02

http://www.greyhound.com PlattsburghPort Ewan (B)Port Jervis (B)... Mmm. Greyhound has no buses to Port Charles, NY. What are they trying to hide? And GREYhound is a very suspicious name. What a realistic 3D movie. Since Greyhound is part of the conspiracy, I'm now taking a plane to Buffalo, NY. It's near Port Charles, and it's headquarters for the National Skeptical Enquirer. Wow, the weather in Buffalo is so different from the usual weather in Port Charles. How suspicious.

CC98: The Bongo Affair, part 12 -- Buffalo by fpd 2-06-02

At the National Skeptical Enquirer offices. I need your help in finding Port Charles and in tracking down the betrayer Sarah Webber. Are you a crackpot? Port Charles is a fictional city. The set for it is in Hollywood. I can't believe it. They have even gotten to the NSE. What will I do now? Oh no, it's Creegan! Stay away from me you evil fiend! Creegan who? I'm just a circus clown.

CC98: The Bongo Affair, part 13 -- Clown by fpd 2-06-02

Circus? You're from the CIRCUS?! I remember now. A circus geek bit off my ear. I hate the circus! We don't have geeks in our circus. I'm with Cirque du Soleil. Oh wow, that's the coolest circus in the world. But why are you in Buffalo during the winter? You should see Montreal in the winter. It's like spring here. Please help me. The American government is conspiring against me, and you Canadians are the only ones I can turn to. Um, je ne parle pas anglais.

CC98: The Bongo Affair, part 14 -- Aliens by fpd 2-06-02

Sir, feedback from the chip we put in Bongo's tail indicates that he is going insane. When amnesia, false memories, and intimidation don't keep a specimen quiet, our last resort is to let him become a source of disinformation. But isn't it morally wrong to let him go mad? Doesn't this violate the Prime Directive? Maybe you're going as mad as Bongo. This isn't Star Trek. We have no Prime Directive. But shouldn't we try to help him? Are you kidding me? Half the fun of this job is watching Earth specimens go absolutely bonkers.

[Click to view comic: 'CC98: The Bongo Affair, part 15 -- Holly']

[Click to view comic: 'CC98: The Bongo Affair, part 16 -- Betrayers']

[Click to view comic: 'CC98: The Bongo Affair, part 17 -- Nightmare']

[Click to view comic: 'CC98: The Bongo Affair, part 18 -- Shrink']

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

The Dreadful Truth About Stripcreator.com II by israphael 2-06-02

One the surface, the comic competitions appear to be run democratically by the users of Stripcreator. Our friends at R J Reynolds loved the "Cigarettes don't kill people. Lighters do." comic strip. Needed more sodomy. In truth the competitions are set up by special interest groups. Look when you and the boys at NAMBLA cough up some money then we'll do whatever you like. Now for new business. One of our sponsors is concerned about the Enron scandal. He wants more pro-business comic strips. You'd be suprised how high up the conspiracy goes. Mr. President, I just got off the phone with Brad. The fix is in. Ha Ha Ha... What the fuck are you talking about?

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

The Clintons are a bottomless repository for comic material...

The Pemmican Briefs - part 1 by Namgubed 2-06-02

A very anxious Vince Foster attempts to make his getaway... ... blah blah blah Clinton blah blah bimbo eruptions blah blah ... Man, it's a good thing I took a random taxi to this random motel - dammit, I left the briefcase with the evidence in the cab! When he hears a noise from the closet... Who's there? *BANG!* Vince, oh Vince, he hardly knew ye. Great. And they just cleaned the blood off my screen from the last occupant. AIEEEE!

The Pemmican Briefs - part 2 by Namgubed 2-06-02

Later that evening, an unassuming cab driver named Bongo winds down after a long workday. ... blah blah blah Vince Foster blah blah apparent suicide blah blah ... Dang, my last fare left a briefcase full of edible underwear in my back seat. What a pervert! Sure enough, he hears a strange noise from outside. ... blah blah blah Hillary blah blah missing documents blah blah ... What's that horse-gallopy sound? Shit! Black helicopters! Heck, I'm just the delivery guy. Candygram! Candygram for Bongo!

The Pemmican Briefs - part 3 by Namgubed 2-06-02

Meanwhile, back at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue ... Stay tuned to this network as we keep you posted on upcoming developments. This is Connie Chung... ... and Big Evil Dan Rather reporting from Washington DC. And within the ever-so-sensitive walls of the Oval Office... Sorry about the blue dress, Monica. Guess I forgot to restock my condom drawer. These should last me a couple days. That wasn't what I was thinking about when you promised me a pearl necklace! Uh-oh, the Mrs. ! Dammit, Bill, quit screwing the interns and help me hide these documents! Hey, Hillary, think they'll all fit in Monica's cigar box. Ain't that right, Monica?

The Pemmican Briefs - part 4 by Namgubed 2-06-02

Meanwhile, back at Bongo's place ... Now, who'd be sending me candy? Wait, there's a note here! "Dear Bongo, You are being watched! Meet me at noon ..." "... at Chez Guy's Pizza on 4th St. Sincerely, A Cross Between Denzell Washington and Will Smith. P.S. Bring the briefcase." Suddenly ... OK, I've got the briefcase... Shit!! Tear gas! This is the BATF!! Surrender, and you will not be harmed. Honest!

The Pemmican Briefs - part 5 by Namgubed 2-06-02

Meanwhile, back at the White House, Hillary enlists the aid of the Vice President in "document cleansing" ... Hey, Al Gore! Or is it Janet Reno? I never could tell you two apart. Go and get the shredder! Well? Oil ... need ... oil ... Hey, honey, you seen my briefcase of incriminating evidence and edible underwear? Yeah, your precious intern let Vince try them on... but don't worry, I've got it under control.

[Click to view comic: 'The Pemmican Briefs - part 6'][Click to view comic: 'The Pemmican Briefs - part 7'][Click to view comic: 'The Pemmican Briefs - part 8']