Wow. Everyone's comics were great. This was easily the hardest contest I've had to judge. We had some new blood posting to this contest too which is cool. Especially since they were all funny. I hope you guys stick around and keep posting to the new contests.
I didn't count off if you didn't use a sports team reference. Instead, I gave a bonus to those who did. So every comic was judged. Some feedback:
Big Evil Dan - Yours had me on the ground. Plus you had a dual sports team/movie reference, while most of us couldn't even manage the movie ref.
DragonXero - Both of yours were hilarious. What made it even funnier to me was that I visualized they were standing in line for like Foster Farms, but none of them knew.
descolada - they gave *****s their own tents? cool. I laughed especially when I thought of the general trying to command his troops the day after.
bobo32 - voluntary haiku? are you crazy man? funny as hell for the cubs reference. Also, finally, someone with your courage has exposed the evilness that is Hands Across America.
wirthling - lol. *******. you followed none of the rules, which would usually mean you lose. But, since I know how much you hate judging, you're going to win. start thinking of contest idea.
bottlerockett - the extra consonants you threw in for the narration were HILARIOUS. I could just picture the mad scientist with dishelved hair, mumbling incoherently.
NeoVid - Original idea and worked perfectly for the rules. I could picture the pull strings on their backs and the lines were great, especially "Elections give you the chance to make a bigger mistake every four years!"
Scyess - I think I would have sat through One-side-of-the-net tennis morning, noon, and night too, if the only other option was a raiders game.
gabe - funny as usual, you magnificient *******. Jeb and Ol'Pete (I'm guessing Domenici, do I win a prize?) especially had me laughing hard. Also, as DX said you worked the sports ref in nicely.
bunner - the look on jon's face was perfect before and after the Browns left the city. Plus that look is a dead give away to fans of losing teams. (I should know, I used to be a Cubs fan. argl.)
Malathion - The references in the first two panels went right over my head unfortunately. (I'm offering cash money for an explanation, before my head explodes.) However, because of the third panel, the strip lost none of it's funny. Alos, (spanish for Also,) you put a Dennis Miller obscure reference strip I did awhile back to shame.
All of these were funny as hell, so this was tough. Narrowed it down to three, and finally went with...
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.