I threatened to do this a while back, and have finally begun turning it into a reality. The first installment's below. My rules:

[list][*]Create a serial comic, beginning with a strip compliant with Comic Contest 1, then one compliant with CC 2, etc.
[*]No looking ahead -- I deal with the next set of rules after I've finished writing the previous strip, and try to maintain some sort of continuity. I know it will get sticky at points, but we'll see what comes out of it.[/list]
Here are the first 5 episodes. More when I have a chance:

Comic Contest #1 spews a new beginning by kaufman 4-05-02

Hah! Humanity dead at last. We roaches shall rule the planet! Or, I guess I could use my radioactively mutated intellect to resurrect the race ... Peanuts? Pretzels? On second thought, let them rot.

Comic Contest #2 from Outer Space (raising the dead) by kaufman 4-05-02

No, that one is too big, darn it! Sheesh! Night and day I work to bring back humanity, and keep failing. But I am doomed to keep trying, till I get it right. Damn you, Dr. Asimov, Damn you!

Comic Contest #3surrection by kaufman 4-05-02

How is it? Can I look? It works! We can bring back humanity! Hmmmm, all things considered, that shirt is inappropriate. And get rid of the beet-colored hair. Then we'll activate him. So, how does it feel to be alive and awake in this post apocalyptic era? I got 2 words for you: gluteal splinters!

4 Services Rendered by kaufman 4-05-02

It's amazing that we were rescued from our own folly by the cockroaches. No kidding! It's preposterous that we'd have ever done the same thing for them. They really deserve a tribute. A memorial to their service to humanity. Are you kidding? The president will never go for us erecting an 80-foot bronze cockroach! And that's when I knew we'd need the wooden badger. What if we start by paying tribute to some other species, and then building up to that? ...

5 Onion Rings! by kaufman 4-05-02

We have completed the restoration of humanity, Master. Excellent, is everything back the way it was? Almost. We intentionally didn't bring back Charles Manson, Russell Crowe, Detroit, Dr. Dre, "Three's Company," Burger King, ... Burger King?!? Report for reprogramming immediately! You were supposed to bring it back and leave out McDonald's! I know, but in the name of maintaining some semblance of Scottish culture and cuisine, we decided it was better this way.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Good luck to you Kaufman! I was toying with the idea (I was going to make a comic fit any two CC's and churn out a series) But gave up come about 50, it got too hard. I'm glad someone has decided to do this, and you deserve a lot of respect for doing this, I bow down to you.

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

Here are the next half dozen installments, though I've found that with the nature of the rules inflicted, this is becoming more of a surreal comic than a serial comic. Anyway, I've tried to maintain some flow ...

Comic Comic #6, though he looks more like a size 4 than a 6 by kaufman 4-05-02

The robot is sent to survey humanity on the quality of this brave new world. The response is unanimous. What do you think? Is the new Earth not perfect? Oh, no question at all. You folks did a kickass job! Until one interviewee expresses discontent ... Well, it's almost perfect. But that one wirthling fellow really sucks. But why? How can he suck? We filtered out the major suckage! Well look at him! He even looks thin in horizontal stripes. I'm SO jealous!

7 by kaufman 4-05-02

Why do you want this job? Fashion consultant's a position for yours truly. I know not to don horizontals! Did you finish school? At what instituion? MFA at RISD. I know my stuff. I was a co-author of a book on pants. THAT pants book? Can you start Monday? Our firm pays in clothing, not cash. Ok? No difficulty with that. I look just awful in gr$$n.

8 Christmas Carol by kaufman 4-06-02

My workers don't need cash Christmas bonuses. Bra, handbag! I'll give them lingerie and purses. Hello, I am de ghost of Bob Marley mon. Tonight you be visited by three ghosts, so get reggae for a night of little sleep, mon. All right, who are you three? I am the Ghost of Fashions Past. I will show you the uncomfortable clothes you used to make. I am the Ghost of Fashions Present. Do you realize how tacky and faddish your current line is? I am the Ghost of Fashions Future. If you think they're bad, wait and see what happens if you don't change your ways!

Who's Nuts? by kaufman 4-06-02

So we three ghosts are in the bedroom with her, when suddenly she starts screaming about a vision. Something to do with getting everyone in Washington to wear cowboy suits and African death masks. She's spiraling down, isn't she? She is? You're the one who's paying a squirrel to psychoanalyze you, even though you're dead!

Tension Released by kaufman 4-07-02

Before I died I was a mailman who hung out in a bar. Hey, another beer for me and Cliff. Thanks, Woody. One day this psychologist, Doctor Crane set me straight about a few things. You seem so tense. Are things at work bothering you? You should let it out. It was only after I died that I learned the meaning of the word "disgruntled." Eat hot lead, suckers!

[Click to view comic: 'Asses to Ashes!!!11!!']

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

The next five:

PROPS: The Musical by kaufman 4-08-02

Okay, girls, take it from the top. Let's vizzle and skargle and make those critics hop! o/` Oh, you say "tuh-may-toe", I say "toe-mah-toe"... You say "cree-may-toe", I say "cray-mah-toe"... I say "I'm yearning to stop this burning.".... You say "hack, wheeze, choke, gag, cough"... I say this show is truly awful... Let's just call the whole thing off!

The Play's Thirteen by kaufman 4-08-02

Here we are, two failed playwrights in ... uh, what town is this again, and what time is it? Austin; 3:16. I really ought to have known better. I'm a doctor, not a choreographer. My luck, we had to be performing in the Space Theatre, for you know in Space, no one can hear you scream. So that dampens the effects of the sopranos, badda-bang, badda-bing, but what about the lower voices? My altos and tenors were singing like parrots nailed to perches and pining for the fjords, but everyone else was nowhere to be found! That's because all your basses are belong to us!

Episode 14; In Which The Plot Advances; Like a Big Glacier by kaufman 4-09-02

My Master seems sad; Are you longing right now for; some greasy fast food? No, you nincompoop; I am dreading finding out; this strip makes no sense. Good work, I am glad; You will gain a promotion; and fur coat bonus. Boss, if I may say; this is now our14th strip; We can use the 'e'! Yet the robot's right; I do need some cheering up; Read "Haiku Hamlet!" Ghost says kill uncle; Am I nuts? I'm so depressed; Whoopie! we all die.

Six-Pack by kaufman 4-10-02

Look who we introduce in this comic! We are Dion, Dionne, Deion, Dyonn, Dynne, and Deeyawn. DYN? We're sextuplets. We were busted by the Fashion Police for wearing brown socks with blue corduroy shorts, and now we're on this chain gang. We're hoping our sister Diane, and our brother Dwayne will bail us out soon. Hey, quit pulling! Wait a second. I thought I was Dionne, and you were Deeyawn. If he's Dionne, then what does that make Dynne? Done.

Get out of Jael Free by kaufman 4-10-02

I don't get it. You were told that if you and Dion were surgically joined at the back, you two would be released immediately, and you want ME to do it? Absolutely. We know your reputation as a brilliant designer, and are sure you can develop something aesthetically pleasing. Okay, but here are the rules: I have complete artistic liberty. You may not look in a mirror until one week after the procedure. And most importantly, I don't take checks. Sounds great! Let's start. One week later ... I think a mirror's this way. Let's go. Hey, quit pulling!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Hehe I remember making the Haiku rule. I was widely detested for awhiel because of that... but boy was it fun to watch everyone squirm!

Oh yeah, and props to you for taking on this endeavour. Impressive.

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

Here are episodes 17-21 to get you into your weekend on the right note ...

Let's Make a Date! by kaufman 4-10-02

Bachelor Number Three: What is your favorite kind of ice cream, and what do you do with it? Well, we need to get double-dip cones, my brother and me, and then he takes mine and I take his and we toss each other's up in the air and catch our own in our tentacles. So I reversed a few things since I hadn't brought in any WIGUs yet. This should still obey the spirit of CC17. I see. And what is your idea of a perfect date with me? We would have dinner and see a movie, and then we would go home and make the creature with one back. O-kay. If you could be any part of an automobile, what part would you be, and why? The emergency brake __________________ No, the oil filter __________________ That's so stupid! __________________ Like an emergency brake isn't! __________________ Hey, quit pulling!

Oy, Vegas! by kaufman 4-11-02

So you chose me over that two-headed thing to go on a date with you. Wise choice. Yeah, I'm glad you can come with me to Las Vegas, and were able to get a nanny to take care of the kids. I know your mother likes it that way. I really can't wait to hang out on the Strip and watch the Thor impersonators parading by. And then we head out to Roentgen Flats State Park to soak in the rays ... Uh, what kind of rays did you say these were? Everything is looking smaller!

Go Ask Alice When She's 200 Feet Tall by kaufman 4-11-02

Use your imagination. Of course her clothes ripped and fell off when she became colossal. Okay, Alice. I've got the drug here that will shrink you back to normal size. Thank goodness, Doctor. But will you please quit staring at my tits? Hold on just a moment. Ok, about 5 Viagra tablets should do. Viagra? Will THAT shrink me down? Hell no, but it should get me to the point where I can take on your 12-foot box! IS THER ANOTHER DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

Number 20: The Larch. by kaufman 4-11-02

There. I've shrunk you back down to normal size. Feeling better? NO! I can't forgive you for what you did to me. I swear, I'm going to rip you a new asshole! And now for something completely different: A man with three buttocks.

21-step Program by kaufman 4-12-02

Hello, my name is Jimmy ... and I'm a Cleese-aholic. Hi, Jimmy. Hello, my name is Jenny and ... I'm a Cleese-aholic. Not bad -- a full-extension Kartoffelmist followed by a spinning pas-de-lingerie. That IS a rather silly walk! Red alert, red alert, get a team over here ... we've got slippage!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

No, this project didn't die. Life got in the way. Now the bad news: Installments 22-26 are coming.

Changes in Atti2de, Changes in Plati2de by kaufman 4-26-02

Bartender, give me a Guinness. After a day of herding the Python freaks, I need to unwind. And bring me a bourbon. I'm feeling like a bicycle out of water! Hey, I know you, you're Misremembered Platitude Trout. Well, the name is familiar, but I can't place the fins. So what brings you up to this bar? I swam, therefore I drink.

Double Treble, Doyle and Trouble by kaufman 4-26-02

Hmmm ... a drunken fish slept here. And I can tell from the splinters on the bench that he mangled the "early to bed, early to rise" adage. And next to him lay a small timepiece armed with a loud bell. An alarm clock? Your powers of deduction are amazing, Squirrelock. Can you tell what happened to the fish when the clock went off? Elementary, Bot-son, he was aroused. Verily aroused.

24 Better or Worse by kaufman 4-29-02

Meanwhile, across town ... I don't know these people. But this town needs more shotgun weddings. Yo, man, I'll be giving away the bride. For $75/hour. Wait a minute. I think it's the other way around. I'm the groom. No you're not. I am! BRRRRAAAAAPPP! I can't believe I ate the whole cake! Uh, Alice, I don't think it's the GARDNER you're supposed to wrap around your thighs.

Mail Answer Syndrome by kaufman 5-21-02

Hello, everyone. Now that this series is 25 comics old, we thought we'd entertain a few letters from the readers. Ok, Ken, this one says: Hey, you misspelled a word in the last strip. Why shouldn't I bring attention to it and shame to you? I'll pun.

Woman of La Munchie by kaufman 5-21-02

This one says: I found a coded message in this series that eating Pringles will make you beautiful. Is that really true? The perceived message is just a coincidence. Sorry about that. To set the record straight, here's our newest character, Mulecinea. I was young and pretty once. But then I started smoking dope. I'd get hungry and eat tons of snack food. Especially Pringles. And look at me now! And now in the name of equal time, a dissenting opinion, presented by Mr. Sancho Panza. Ugly? I beg to differ. That babe is one donkey hottie!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com