Is always good for a laugh. Alas , i cant think up any good Mohammed Ali jokes just now , so ill settle for this

Parkinson (s Disease is more entertaining). by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 4-18-02

Hi.And welcome to tonights Edition of Parkinson. My guests tonight will be Sting , Celine Dion , Billy Connolly , and Alanis Morissette. Anyone wishing to complain about the fact thats the same guests i had on last week can watch ITV , and ill still get paid. Or you can watch the Porn on channel 5. I know thats what id rather be doing.

Sting - Newcastles Golden Boy. by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 4-18-02

So , Sting. What made you base your new album on Tibetan Nose Flute music? I wanted to give listeners a feeling of tantric inner consciousness which theyre deprived of in the west. Arent you just exploiting another native culture which doesnt realise the value of its traditions , in a show of blatant hypocrisy , Mr "Equality for the world"? Thats a bit harsh. They got paid well and theyll recieve further monies based on Album Sales. And why Sting anyway? I mean , fair enough , id want to change my name if i was called Gordon , but ..... Thats it. Youre getting bottled you doddery old cunt.

Celine Dion. Overpaid. Overrated. Over here. by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 4-18-02

So , Celine Dion , youve got a new album out called "On the Wings of Heavens Angels". What inspired you to call the album that? I was inspired while i was in church helping local orphans to rebuild their shattered lives. Is that before or after you gave birth , abandoned your child to a nanny , and then fucked off on a 6 month round the world tour , massacring popular hits in front of live audiences? Can i sing that song from Titanic now?

Billy Connolly - Lets Hope He Gets Better Soon. by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 4-18-02

So , Billy Connolly. This is the 228th time ive had you on here to boost ratings. Tell me , does this time feel any different to you than last time you were here? Jobbies! Perhaps your round the world tour , your brushes with death , your wifes new autobiography , your battles with Child abuse , have given you some new stories to tell us. Big Jobbies! And there you have it folks. Billy Connolly still doing the same routine 32 years later. Lets hope he dies soon so we can all shit on his grave. Big Jobbies With WELLIES!

Alanis Morrisette. Natalie Imbruglia does it better. by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 4-18-02

Alanis Morrissette. Tell me , why do your songs all have such a depressing , throw yourself off a bridge feel to them? HEY! This isnt a very flattering character to portray me with Perm. Change me into Jael , or Maura. Even Lady J for chrissakes. And dont even think about making a comment along the lines of "Isnt this Ironic , Dontcha Think" Alanis Morrissette ladies and Gentlemen. Arguing with her imagination live on BBC1.. And another thing. Stop saying my ass looked fat in Dogma. I was playing GOD for chrissakes. Do you know how hard i had to work to get the facial expressions right?

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

After a fall, like the one you've just taken, what you've really got to do is pick yourself up and just try again.

BE A FIGHTER NOT A QUITTER!

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Charlie dont surf

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After a fall, like the one you've just taken, what you've really got to do is pick yourself up and just try again.

BE A FIGHTER NOT A QUITTER!

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I see youre as prolific as ever ZE. Unfortunately , youre prolific in spouting bovine excrement , and not a lot else.

You havent written any funny comics since "I see Ned People" , and i gave you that joke.

YUO IS NOT A WINNAR!1111112

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I see youre as prolific as ever ZE. Unfortunately , youre prolific in spouting bovine excrement , and not a lot else.

You havent written any funny comics since "I see Ned People" , and i gave you that joke.

YUO IS NOT A WINNAR!1111112

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If i remember correctly (and i do) we were sitting in the Pub disccusing SC and i said a funny strip would have the punchline "I see Ned people".

IT WAS MY IDEA NOT YOURS!

On a side note two words ... e and mail.

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KKP, I was going to suggest that next time you're in a pub with ZE, you should crack a beer bottle over his head, but that would be alcohol abuse. So please just grind his testicles into the floor using the heel of your shoe.

Anyway, the series. What drew me into it was me. There is not enough "me" in "media," in general, and so I was glad to see myself portrayed as Sting, even though he is a pretentious and perennially overrated old poop. After basking in my own likeness for a while, I noticed how goddamn funny the Celine jokes were. More, please.

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What others say about boorite!

Thumbs aloft, Perm!