Thanks to my crushing victory in the last CC, in which almost no one posted a legal entry, God has given me the task of setting forth the next set of CC rules. Here they are.

There are too many crappy comics on this site. It is your job, ladies & gentlemen (etc.) to help correct this heinous problem.

You must find a "target" comic on the site -- any comic -- and copy the first two panels. The third panel is yours; you have to give it a new punchline. You can use any character, any background, anything, but the first two panels and the title have to be exactly the same as the original comic.

[list=1]
[*]You may not use any of your own comics as a target comic.
[*]You may not use any comics higher than #69380 as targets. (This is currently the most recent comic.)
[*]The first two panels and the title of your entry must be the same as the target comic. I won't be so strict to say you can't correct spelling or (to a reasonable degree) grammar errors, but otherwise your entry has to be identical.
[*]The third panel you provide must be FUNNIER than the one that was already there.
[*]When you post, make sure to include the target comic before your altered one.
[*]Stay away from jokes about other SC strippers. If the first two panels already include that, you can go ahead and use it, but I don't usually find it funny so you'll probably lose.
[*]You're welcome to use the forum in-jokes such as TOBOR, Cowboy Physics, etc., but be warned that those in-jokes I know were beaten to death with a big, leaden stick with spikes sticking out of it a long time ago, and the ones I don't, obviously, I won't get. So you will lose.
[*]I hate to say it, but go ahead and post as many entries as you want.
[*]Judging will PROBABLY be next Monday around noonish SC time, but don't hold me to that.
[/list]

How's that for obnoxious? Okay.... GO!

---
"Old" is the old new.

most of my comics are crap.

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

Going to stripcreator.com and pulling up a random comic unearths this gem on the first try:

Lilacs from Hell. by Postman 1-28-01

I am Phong Gnu! I am Kau Chen! ... ... ...fuck you Chen, working for Nike sucks... HELP HELP HELP!

... Which can be improved as follows:

Lilacs from Hell. by kaufman 5-28-02

I am Phong Gnu! I am Kau Chen! ... ... Gesundheit! Thank you.

That should set the bar sufficiently low to generate lots of replies.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Flore's Lesbo Adventure Part I by oudiman 3-02-02

Flore Walking Home... Ohhhhh...I'm A Lesbian And I'm Proud!!! Flore Meets A Homeless Man... Hi... Are You Homeless Bum? Be More Politically Correct... I'm Just Currently Without A Home, Job, I'm Blind.... Uh... Yeah I'm A Homeless Bum. Flore Takes Care Of Him. Oh Okay... Hiyahhh!!!!! God Bless You Miss!!

With extra credit for no narration in the third panel!

Flore's Lesbo Adventure Part I by kaufman 5-28-02

Flore Walking Home... Ohhhhh...I'm A Lesbian And I'm Proud!!! Flore Meets A Homeless Man... Hi... Are You Homeless Bum? Be More Politically Correct... I'm Just Currently Without A Home, Job, I'm Blind.... Uh... Yeah I'm A Homeless Bum. Fancy that. A real-live talking fish!

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

robotrage by shy-guy18 11-17-01

PRIMARY PROCESS KILL ASIANS!!! MUST KILL ASIAN!!!!! ROBOT RAGE!!! ARRRGGHGHGG RAKE YOHN!!!ARGH MSUT IKILL!! PRIMARY FUCNTION DAAEMRUSDERSSA!!!!!aSRRH

robotrage by BigEvilDan 5-28-02

PRIMARY PROCESS KILL ASIANS!!! MUST KILL ASIAN!!!!! I suspect that would have worked better had it not been made in Japan.

I just realized those should have been thought bubbles. Just use your imagination.

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Waazzappp by Curry 3-21-01

WAZZAAP Wazzaap? WAAAZAAAAAPP!!!! WAAAAAA WAAzzzzzAAP wazzup!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WWWWWAZZ!!!!!!!!! ZZZAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Waazzappp by BigEvilDan 5-28-02

WAZZAAP Wazzaap? WAAAZAAAAAPP!!!! WAAAAAA WAAzzzzzAAP wazzup!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just shut the fuck up and die already! What? Zapped!?

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Mr Haven und die Hölle by artificial 11-02-01

Mr.Heaven trifft uNnAmED du hast gesündigt ! ... DU HAST WIRKLICH SCHLIMM GESÜNDIGT !!!!! ... ICH SAGTE DU HAST GESÜNDIGT UND MUSST IN DER HÖLLE SCHMOREN VERDAMMTE SCHEISSE NOCHMAL !!!!! denkst du du kannst mir schuldgefühle einreden ?

Mr Haven und die Hölle by kaufman 5-28-02

Mr.Heaven trifft uNnAmED du hast gesündigt ! ... DU HAST WIRKLICH SCHLIMM GESÜNDIGT !!!!! ... Er, ok, let's try this one... ICH BIN EIN BERLINER!!!! Ah, I see, so that explains why you've been rolling around in an acre of jelly.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Ahh, Intellect. by crushingsuns 5-30-01

Haley and Kitty share a Moment... I love you so much, my darling. Our thoughts take on their own transparent wings that soar through all others conversations. Our intellect exceeds most of those who try to approach us. We're goddesses Yes. Our theories surpass the thoughts of most we know. But as Victor Hugo says, "To love another person is to see the face of God." Thus explaining our perceptions of one another. Indeed we are. Then let us be goddesses. Let us drink of each other's beauty and live within a rich paradise. We will. And we shall. Our intellect and power will fill our veins with purpose. Let the crimson flow... A bizarre Moment. My spoon is too big! I'm a banana!

This is a story about... being free by kramer_vs_kramer 5-28-02

Haley and Kitty share a Moment... I love you so much, my darling. Our thoughts take on their own transparent wings that soar through all others conversations. Our intellect exceeds most of those who try to approach us. We're goddesses Yes. Our theories surpass the thoughts of most we know. But as Victor Hugo says, "To love another person is to see the face of God." Thus explaining our perceptions of one another. Indeed we are. Then let us be goddesses. Let us drink of each other's beauty and live within a rich paradise. We will. And we shall. Our intellect and power will fill our veins with purpose. Let the crimson flow... So... how much for fisting?

Shit, broke the title rule.

fYte punch kick! by benzee 4-05-02

FITE PUNCH KICK! EEK!! OOOFF ow... run aWAY! Undieman runs away safely! hooraltee! im safe! my herooo...uh...wth is that thing? u sick bastard

fYte punch kick! by kaufman 5-28-02

FITE PUNCH KICK! EEK!! OOOFF ow... run aWAY! I've got to hand it to you Sid. "Batman vs. Monty Python and the Holy Grail in Outer Space" pulled in $80 million for its opening weekend. I keep telling you, people LOVE sequels in the summertime. Now can I have that advance for "Thelma, Louise and Encino Man go to Fargo"?

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I like peanut butter by AL9000 5-13-01

Hmm, food? Try it, bitch OH NO! AND THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS, STAY IN SCHOOL AND DON'T DO DRUGS!

I like peanut butter by KajunFirefly 5-28-02

Hmm, food? Try it, bitch! 8 years later So the squirrel contained a secret treasure map and you found the gold and became the richest man in the world? Dude, weren't you listening? After eating the squirrel, I had sex with a coupe of hippos, they locked me away for years!

---
Dad was flammable

mmmuuurrr by tom_kitten 1-11-01

phew

mmmuuurrr by KajunFirefly 5-28-02

I really need to cut down on the weed.

---
Dad was flammable

hoofar by tom_kitten 1-11-01

hey hey did you see Mr. Ed on tv last night nah a talking horse man! go figure

hoofar by KajunFirefly 5-28-02

hey hey did you see Mr. Ed on tv last night? nah He's really went downhill, I didn't think he could stoop lower than animal porn, but he's just finished a new movie with Eddie Murphy! woah!

---
Dad was flammable

Pants gets his big idea. by R1Pryd@ 1-07-01

Noticed all the MP3 players at CES? I think the only damn thing I didnt see were MP3 capable tampons! Hmmmmmm........

...trasmogrified...

Pants gets his big idea by Isocish 5-28-02

Noticed all the MP3 players at Ces? I think the only damn thing I didn't see that wasn't MP3 capable was tampons! 1...2...3...4...5..6...7...8...9 EYES....wonder how many TAMPONS he'd need. And condoms and dildo's...not that I'd want them...heh...

Bubbles and Ben - Survivers of the Nuclear Holocaust (1) by Shadow_Artist 2-27-02

The future, and only two have survived the Nuclear Holocaust... Knock, Knock... Knock, Knock... Knock... Look, no offence Bubbles, but the world's just ended. I'm not really in the mood for jokes right now...

Bubbles and Ben - Survivors of the Nuclear Holocaust (1) by wirthling 5-28-02

The future, and only two have survived the Nuclear Holocaust... Knock, Knock... Knock, Knock... Correction: The future, and only ONE has survived the Nuclear Holocaust...

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

A day in the afterlife by dhouston 5-30-01

How about "The King of Peace" I think it fits you good. Well it's not your "The King of Whoopass"

A day in the afterlife by kaufman 5-28-02

How about "The King of Peace" I think it fits you good. How about you? Which buttplug are you ordering? I'm torn between "The Flaming, Broadsword of Hell" and "The Bloated, Tortured Soul of Damnation". Which do you think will be best for me?

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Panty Reaper on the Prowl by destroyercrabathor 7-13-01

I've come for your panties, Mary. I'm about to be sucked from a horribly drawn exploding airplane, and all you want are my panties? Yes. I will accept your panties in lieu of your life. Sounds like a deal to me. Hold on, let me just take them off...*WHOOSH* AYIEEEE! NOOOOO!....I was so close. I could almost smell them.

Panty Reaper on the Prowl by Namgubed 5-28-02

I've come for your panties, Mary. I'm about to be sucked from a horribly drawn exploding airplane, and all you want are my panties? Yes. I will accept your panties in lieu of your life. Sounds like a deal to me. Hold on, let me just take them off...*WHOOSH* AYIEEEE! I might have guessed you were a real blonde. Didn't your mom ever tell you the adhesive side goes DOWN? Well, so much for my hot wax appointment.