Is it me or does Batman suck ass when compared to Superman and Spider-Man? First of all, Superman can fly, shoot lasers from his eyes, and breathe frost or whatever. Spider-Man can shoot webs from the PALM of his hand! into thin air, and it stays there without anything to have onto, he can also climb walls!

Whereas all Batman can do is go down a fireman's pole, drive a car and buy hookers! He normally needs Robin or Bat Woman to save him, and it takes him a week to think of how to get out of a tricky situation.

Spider-Man was so great he could get by without a cape! Superman needed his, but I'm sure that was for mobility, whereas Batman just wears his, he sucks!

And I find it scary that he wears black and grey suits in GOTHam city.

You're all going to be shouting at me now, but I argued about this for a whole hour, it pisses me off that Batman gets called a superhero when he has no super powers.

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

Generally, there is one requirement to being a "superhero", and it has nothing to do with powers:

- The ability to apprehend notorious criminals when the full force of the local constabulary is powerless to do so.

And in that regard, Batman ranks right up with the others.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

That has to be a joke... nobody could post such a wad of faeces seriously, could they?

...could they?

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

You know, bazilla, much as I hesitate to lend credence to your existence, I must rip to shreds every sliver of "comic knowledge" you portend to possess.

It's just you.

Heat vision is far from being "lasers". I'll let you slip by with "frost", but it's slightly more complicated than that, too.

Webshooters. When Peter Parker discovered all these great new powers of his, he used his massive cranial capacity to design and build a device to shoot his own specially created web fluid. Smart guy, he. And contrary to that cheesy cartoon from the 60s, his webbing must actually hold onto *something*, which is why he gets so huffy when he winds up in Central Park.

Untrue. Batman went many years without any sidekicks, and then went a few more -- and a few more. In truth, he's a loner by nature, and when the going gets its toughest, he tends to try to tough it out alone. Robin and Batgirl, while powerful and helpful allies, are not "[needed] to save him". As for the tricky situation comment... do you get all your information from TV?? Yeesh.

Superman doesn't NEED a cape, though it does look cool while flying. Batman's cape is actually a tool... if you knew anything about his origins, you wouldn't have made such a ridiculous comment. His cape, as part of his costume, helps to inspire the fear in his enemies that makes them that much easier to apprehend. It's also handy for slight-of-hand.

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And I find it scary that he wears black and grey suits in GOTHam city.

You're all going to be shouting at me now, but I argued about this for a whole hour, it pisses me off that Batman gets called a superhero when he has no super powers.

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Batman's cape is actually a tool...

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Generally, there is one requirement to being a "superhero", and it has nothing to do with powers:

- The ability to apprehend notorious criminals when the full force of the local constabulary is powerless to do so.

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Generally, there is one requirement to being a "superhero", and it has nothing to do with powers:

- The ability to apprehend notorious criminals when the full force of the local constabulary is powerless to do so.

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So Nero Wolfe, with his powers of Fat-Ass Orchid Freak, is a superhero.

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Batman's cape is actually a tool...

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If Batman's cape is a tool, then Batman's tool must be a cape, and that just doesn't make sense.

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Isn't that a "penisula?"

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What others say about boorite!

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Generally, there is one requirement to being a "superhero", and it has nothing to do with powers:

- The ability to apprehend notorious criminals when the full force of the local constabulary is powerless to do so.

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So Nero Wolfe, with his powers of Fat-Ass Orchid Freak, is a superhero.

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More the ability to apprehend than to determine the identity of the perp.

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Go here. Read the comment I posted ten days ago about how not having magical powers makes Batman a cooler superhero. Pretend I posted that in this thread. Thank you.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

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Batman's cape is actually a tool...

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If Batman's cape is a tool, then Batman's tool must be a cape, and that just doesn't make sense.

If a few yards of taffeta could inspire fear in criminals, then my girlfriend's prom dress could have made Scarface shit a gold brick.

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Wasn't his cape like bullet proof in one of the movies or something?

i thought that was spawn

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

I'm going to pretend you posted it while wearing a cheerleader outfit.

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What others say about boorite!

I think it was just stain-resistant.

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What others say about boorite!

Yes, exactly like my prom.

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What others say about boorite!

Spawn sucks.

At least for the last 60 issues or so.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

This conversation has made for some great reading. (Especially Boorite's posts).

I think I'll go post a thread saying "John Lennon was really just an over-rated boy band member." and watch the entertainment unfold.

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Dad was flammable

Isn't that a "penisula?"

I'm going to pretend I didn't see that.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

But really, Batman is a hero, not a superhero. The costume may confuse the issue, but the decisive point is his lack of any superhuman attributes. He is not superhuman, but the embodied distillation of humanity-- the best (and sometimes worst) human qualities made flesh. This places him more in the category of Gilgamesh or Beowulf than Spider-Man.

After all, it's been pointed out that Spider-Man comes by his powers accidentally, and that he continually resists the responsibility that these powers place upon him. The question we're always exploring with Spider-Man is, "What if a perfectly nerdy adolescent boy (presumably like the reader) suddenly and reluctantly became superhuman?" Spider-Man is therefore more of an antihero-- but no less heroic for that, at times.

Batman, on the other hand, was not bitten by some radioactive spider. He came by his powers through obsessive labor motivated by a thirst for revenge. Granted, he was born with exceptional athletic and intellectual potential, and it was an accident of fate that made him vengeful, and he was lucky enough to be born rich. Still, you can see it's a different story from Spider-Man's. The question we're always exploring with Batman is, "What if the best man honed himself to to the sharpest for the purpose of fighting evil?" There's nothing much reluctant about Batman. He's a hero.

(Sure, he has tragic flaws, but all real heroes do. And most of those were "written in" during the last few decades.)

(Spider-Man's reluctance, by the way, is a typical element in heroic tales: The hero often resists the call at first. But in Spider-Man, reluctance is not just a phase in the story but a recurring theme, a characteristic.)

Anyway, there's no "super" in Batman's "hero," which I suppose makes him "suck" in some readers' opinions and makes him "cool" in others'.

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Oh yeah, you might point out some parallel between Batman's parents and Uncle Ben*, but I think we'd find out more from the contrast than the comparison.

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*no rice jokes allowed

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What others say about boorite!

Fun... here's Stan Lee talking about pitching Spider-Man to his publisher for the first time:

"Martin told me three things that I will never forget," Lee said. "He said people hate spiders, so you can't call a hero 'Spider-Man.' Then, when I told him I wanted the hero to be a teenager, as he was in the beginning, Martin said that a teenager can't be a hero, but only a sidekick. Then, when I wanted him not to be too popular with the girls and not great-looking or a strong, macho-looking guy, but just a thin, pimply high school student, Martin said, 'Don't you understand what a hero is?' "

Ha ha. Don't you understand what a hero is?

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I agree, as long as that was sarcasm. I can't believe they're having this discussion. It's like being 12.

CAN SUPERMAN RUN FASTER THAN TEH FLASH????

ARE ELECTRAS BOOBIES THE BEST OR DOES THE PUNISHER HAVE BETTER BREAST DEFENITION AND IMAGINATIVE WEIGHT???

I mean, seriously, who the fuck cares? I read comics, I know Batman can be cool and lame, but I don't care enough to argue the point with some other wanker who's probably only trying to stir up shit with other twats.

Actually, I agree. John Lennon is incredibly over-rated, as are the Beatles in general. Anyone who argues with that, I preemptively tell you - YOU ARE WRONG

AND AN ANUS SUCKER.

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Tinman says 'fuck everyone in the forums, they suck cock for crack'