Fuzzy Man in Her Majesty's Secret Cervix # 1 by Smarmulus 8-17-02

Hi. I'm new here. What's your name handsome? Man, Fuzzy Man. I'm Connie Lindquist. Can you show me how my computer thingy works? Certainly. Would you like that shaken or stirred? Why don't you give me a private tour of the nearest server closet? I know once we get started X will contact me with a new assignment, but as usual I will ignore the coitus interruptus.

Fuzzy Man in Her Majesty's Secret Cervix # 2 by Smarmulus 8-17-02

Meanwhile in X's secret office... Five Dollar, where the devil is Man? & in X's secret waiting room... I buzz his secret agent watch sir, but he not answer. It appears Fuzzy Man is not finished with his unscheduled work break... I shouldn't ignore this call since it is probably X attempting to contact me about my next assignment. Then again, I shouldn't be smoking in this tiny equipment room either.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Fuzzy Man in Her Majesty's Secret Cervix # 3 by Smarmulus 8-18-02

a meeting in X's secret office Man, it's time for debriefing on your last assignment. Certainly X. I did not enjoy working with that little Smart guy. He had an annoying voice and his shoe kept ringing. But I did enjoy the opportunity to 69 with Agent 99.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Fuzzy Man in Her Majesty's Secret Cervix # 4 by Smarmulus 8-19-02

Man, these are the details of your next assignment... I shan't bother listening to this pointless exposition. It's antithetical to the thematic core of this visual-prose piece, and horribly premodern. *blah - blah - blah - blah* The literal nonacademic reader might misinterpret the non-joke portions of the text to be digressive whereas the jokes are mere artifice to expound upon a deeper... And I will need you to penetrate the enemy agent - Wait a second, could you please repeat that last part?

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Fuzzy Man in Her Majesty's Secret Cervix # 5 by Smarmulus 8-19-02

A few moments later in X's secret waiting room... Five Dollar, how are you today? Fuzzy, you owe Five Dollar much money. I promise I will cover my entire account as soon as I recieve my next pay check. In the interim might I increase the amount of my debt to you?

TO BE CONTINUED...

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Good work.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Fuzzy Man in Her Majesty's Secret Cervix # 6 by Smarmulus 8-19-02

Linear structure in written media is obsolete. It's use is the equivalent of a film made in a pre-D. W. Griffith style. Even more outmoded is strict linear structure - setup, increase of tension, climax, epilogue. How trite! *cum* slurp! Delightful! No more fucky sucky on credit for you.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Fuzzy Man in Her Majesty's Secret Cervix # 7 by Smarmulus 8-20-02

Fuzzy Man begins his latest mission Very interesting. It appears this plane is going to collide with the World Trade Center. Time to escape via an implausible mechanical device which could only function in a very contrived fiction.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

A rotor turbine?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Kaufman, you've inspired me...

Fuzzy Man in Her Majesty's Secret Cervix # 8 by Smarmulus 8-20-02

after another daring escape... Luckily the rotor turbines generated enough gravitons to save me. Thank goodness for the rescue gadgets Dr Kaufman invents for me. But why does he always grab my balls and ask me to turn my head when he says HIS last name?

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Fuzzy Man in Her Majesty's Secret Cervix # 9 by Smarmulus 8-20-02

meanwhile, another debriefing in X's secret office I get my nut with Nutella. Agent Boinky, I thought we had agreed you would not act like a retard anymore? Would you like some Nutella flavored bukkake? Five Dollar, this is X . Have Agent Brad assemble the firing squad. I have an URGENT job for them! Bannishment is insufficient.

To be continued...

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

If only that last comic could come true. Oh how I would dance and sing...

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Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive. And don't ever apologize for anything. - Harry S Truman, 33rd president of US (1884 - 1972)

Fuzzy Man in Her Majesty's Secret Cervix # 10 by Smarmulus 8-21-02

meanwhile back in Manhattan... Interesting how the towers are collapsing straight down. Basic physics indicates they should be falling at an angle. Look, there's TV anchor-whore Ashleigh Banfield running TOWARD the towers. Why is that makeup man putting fake ashes all over her clothes and face?

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Fuzzy Man in Her Majesty's Secret Cervix # 11 by Smarmulus 8-21-02

Drat, it's my nemesis Blowling. I've forgotten my computer password again. For the last time it's BUTTFUKMEPLZ. I thought you'd never ask! Thank god Dr. Kaufman has provided me with anal chastity Depends. grovel

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Hey... no Fuzzyman and mansex in the same strip. KKP has a monopoly on being in the mansex strips.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

LIES!

I have a monopoly on the "Standing like a Statue" strips.

Mansex strips are CLEARLY a Kajun Firefly production.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

By Popular Demand Fuzzy Man IHMSC # 11 Revised by Smarmulus 8-22-02

Fer the last time your passwerd is BUTTFUKMEPLZ. I thought you'd never ask. Your place or mine? I can go either way. Literally. Thanks Smarmulus. That's much better. Will you please move your goddamn arms now?

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Read them all, great stuff.

RopeDrink, Shadow Artist, Evil_D, et al.
thanks for the comments...

this series will be continued!

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

to be continued...

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

#12 Revised is classic!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Fuzzy Man in Her Majesty's Secret Cervix # 12 by Smarmulus 8-25-02

Meanwhile President Bush & several secret service agents are aboard Air Force One... That goat book was sure funny. I want my mommy. Mr President please tell us where you would like us to land this plane. I'm so scared I need to change my chaps. Reporters assemble at the White House... What do you mean there's nobody home? Someone should calm & reassure_the_American_people? Quick, show the film of the collapse for the 5,000th time.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Fuzzy Man in Her Majesty's Secret Cervix # 13 by Smarmulus 8-27-02

To add more parallel content a view from Mt. Olympus... Look at those puny humans running around like Jerry Lewis at the special olympics. Jesus, you are one sick fuck. You haven't made me laugh so hard since the Inquisition. Remember when we fucked with that idiot Job? That was almost as funny as when you made Hitler chancellor of Germany. OK, now this is getting dull. Anyway it's time for our poker game with Allah and Bacchus. I'll meet you there. I have to go whisper some things in Ariel Sharon's ear first.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Don't worry. I will get back to Fuzzy Man and the secret agent genre satire stuff, but a few more tangents first...

Fuzzy Man in Her Majesty's Secret Cervix # 14 by Smarmulus 8-27-02

Even more parallel content as we look into the office of Rupert Murdoch. Next on Fox news we will show the collapse of the World Trade Centers 8,300 more times. This is fantastic. What great luck for me. I will make another fortune! MOH! Allah your base are belong to me.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Yes, I know. I'll get back to Fuzzy Man, X, and Blowling soon.

Fuzzy Man in Her Majesty's Secret Cervix # 15 by Smarmulus 8-27-02

CNN is getting interviews at the scene of the destruction... I understand you escaped tower #2 moments before it collapsed. *cough* Yes. *gag* That's right. *gasp* What thoughts would you like to share with our viewers? Look at me. I'm on television. This is the best thing that's ever happened to me! I pray one of my relatives is recording this.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka