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Stripcreator » Comic Competitions » CC138: Stand Up

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evil_d
Riding through your town with his head on fire

Member Rated:

Participants in this contest are going to learn what's so hard about being a stand-up comedian.

Entries must feature no more and no less than one character. This character may appear as many times as you like, and you may represent him/her/it using as many different poses, or even different stripcreator-characters, as you want. As long as it's reasonably self-evident that, in terms of the plot, there is exactly one character in your strip, you can do whatever you like with the background and character graphics.

That includes using as many additional items from the "props" category as you want, as long as they don't talk (or otherwise display evidence of consciousness). It's okay if you also use something from "props" to represent your one character.

Your character can talk about, at, to, near, and a whole bunch of other prepositions except for "with", anyone or anything else, as long as they don't talk back, and nothing else talks through them.

If you have to ask whether you're breaking the rules, you probably are.

There are probably a lot of old strips that fit these rules, so to prevent the contest from being flooded with material we've already seen, I'm going to require that strips be dated 8-19-02 or later.

Multiple entries are welcomed. You can write series too; however, each comic will be judged individually, and only one strip will be selected as the winner. It just seems more in the spirit of the contest that way.

You have approximately three days to make me laugh. The deadline is 1:00 Thursday afternoon, Stripcreator time, and judging will take place within a couple of hours.

One character. Got it?

Good luck!

---
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

8-19-02 12:19pm (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

I think you scared them off.

CC 138: Captain's Monologue by kaufman
8-19-02
Captains Log, Stardate 5786.5: Thanks to some friendly aliens, I finally got to plant a fat one on Lt. Uhura's lips. Boy, is she hot!
Stardate 5788. We've arrived at a new M-class planet. I'd love to make first contact, but I'm really feeling beat. I think I'll just get some shut-eye and let Scotty lead the party.
Captain's Log, supplemental: I let Bones have a look at me. He says my spleen's enlarged, and I'm looking a bit jaundiced. I'll transfer my duties to Mr. Spock until I'm back on my feet.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

8-19-02 2:34pm (new)
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NeoVid
Stripcreator Irregular

Member Rated:

True story.

cc 138: Stand and maybe deliver by NeoVid
8-19-02
Here's a couple of stories. See if you can find the connection.
A woman I know told me that I need to get laid more often.
The next day, I was staked out in the desert, and a guy in an Alhambra truck said I needed something to drink. Then he drove off.

Beat that, Devin. You're supposed to be my sidekick, meaning not better than me.

---
"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

8-19-02 2:45pm (new)
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Drexle
Your Cure for Lameness

Member Rated:

CC 138: Surprise!!! by Drexle
8-19-02
Five seconds later...
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!!!!!

8-19-02 2:47pm (new)
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ObiJo
Eamus Catuli

Member Rated:

... by ObiJo
8-19-02
My people have lived in these hills for thousands of years. But now a major developer seeks to force us off.
My shaman says that after a people live in a place for so long, the place and the people become one. If we lose our land, we lose our culture, our heritage. So please - Vote No on Proposition 132.
If you do, we'll allow doubling down on any first two cards.

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

8-19-02 3:24pm (new)
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Namgubed
The Merry Elf

Member Rated:

Jim's Huntin' Stories by Namgubed
8-19-02
So dere I was, huntin' dose snowshoe rabbits, right before da snows come, and dey're all camouflaged. I'm gettin' one in my sights, when I stepped on a twig an' spooked 'im.
Off 'e goes at a dead run, but I manage to hit 'im wit my .22, an' 'e goes, "yeek! yeek!" an' flops over dead. Yep, some go wit a lot o' noise, some go quietly ...
... an' some just explode.

---
"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

8-19-02 4:21pm (new)
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Duckfoot
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

Jesus' Fishin' Stories by Duckfoot
8-19-02
So there I was, out fishing on the sea of Galilee, when I tell Peter to cast his net on the other side of the boat.
Sure enough, the catch is so huge, it nearly breaks the net! Some of those fish were real beauties, too.
I guess the largest one was just about ... yea big.

---
Dude, check out Grandma's vericose veins!

8-19-02 4:37pm (new)
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Kevin_Keegans_Perm
Bean There, Done That

Member Rated:

CC 136 : Gone Fishin' by Kevin_Keegans_Perm
8-19-02
Harv?

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

8-19-02 4:43pm (new)
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Kevin_Keegans_Perm
Bean There, Done That

Member Rated:

Gone Fishin' 2 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm
8-19-02
Look Harv , this shit isnt funny.
I swear , if youre hiding behind the coral again pretending you got caught ill kill you.
Or at the very least ill blow some angry bubbles in your direction.

Gone Fishin' 3 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm
8-19-02
Look , ok , i spawned with your wife Harv. Im sorry , but she led me on
Her flipper was all over me man. I was shedding scales like a motherfucker
I hope this doesnt mean im off the bowling team

Gone Fishin' 4 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm
8-19-02
And yeh , i admit it. Im the one who ate your pet amoeba
I swear , it was like a scene from that movie man. I wasnt in control of my own thoughts.
You know , like that sea bass in "A Human called Wanda"

Gone Fishin' 5 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm
8-19-02
Aww shit. Who am i kidding. He really did get caught this time. Poor bastard.
Still , at least i can go home and spawn with his wife now. And ive still got his plankton collection... heh.
Shit
Oh no Motherfucker. You aint getting off that easy.

Gone Fishin' 6 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm
8-19-02
Ill teach you to spawn with my wife motherfucker
Hey , its not MY fault you cant care for her like a REAL fish. She has needs you know.
Shes gonna need a new pair of gills after i get finished slapping that bitch.

[Click to view comic: 'Gone Fishin' 7']

Each strip is , in itself , completely rules compliant.

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

8-19-02 4:59pm (new)
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evil_d
Riding through your town with his head on fire

Member Rated:

The way I see it, parts 1 through 4 are compliant. The rest each have two characters in them, even though the same graphic is used to represent both characters. But don't worry; because each strip is judged separately, 1 - 4 are still eligible to win.

---
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

8-19-02 6:14pm (new)
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ObiJo
Eamus Catuli

Member Rated:

Pro-Con by ObiJo
8-19-02
I'm pro-child.
I'm pro-sex.
I'm pro-ficient.

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

8-19-02 7:11pm (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

Through the Ages by kaufman
8-19-02
.. 70,000,000 BC ............. 22,000 BC ..... Fossil reproduction......... Cave Art
.. 1350 .............................. 1692 ..... Italian Monk ........ Burnt for Witchcraft
.. 1845 ........................... 1963 ........... A Goat ........ Actress Shirley MacLaine

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

8-19-02 7:25pm (new)
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mutsje2000
Pink Donkey Wrangler

Member Rated:

Homosexuality, beastiality and sodomy... all in one comic. How could it fail?!

Standup Comedy Night 6 Take 2 (CC: 138) by mutsje2000
8-19-02
So, I was, like, talking to Benny the other day, and he asked me if I could, like, -be- more jailbait if I tried.
So I was, like, "Sha... right. Nice shirt, needledick. Did you have to practise to look that gay, or, like, did it come with the recruitment package?"
Then he, like, called me a fucking faggot of a raging queer pink donkey who blows goats. He's not, like, imaginative, but he sure put me in my place. Twice.

/benny/

---
My metaphors are metafives...

8-19-02 7:25pm (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

Coda Chrome by kaufman
8-19-02
Knowing that the sun was about to die, the humans built me as a permanent repository of all their knowledge.
Now all life is gone, and only I am left. What shall I do?
How about a few eons of masturbation?

Coda Chrome 2 by kaufman
8-19-02
The world ended, all life died, and only I remain, a living memorial to human achievement.
I spent ages masturbating until I ran out of lubricant. Now I need something else to do.
Hello, do you have Prince Albert in a can?

Coda Chrome 3 by kaufman
8-19-02
Prank phone calls get boring when there's no one to talk to. I need something to do,
I know, I'll take myself completely apart, and reassemble myself ....
BACKWARDS!

Coda Chrome 4 by kaufman
8-19-02
This is getting really boring, being the last sentient being in the universe ... Hey, I've got an idea ... LET THERE BE LIGHT!
*sigh* It was worth a try.

Coda Chrome 5 by kaufman
8-19-02
Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall, Aleph-null bottles of beer, You take one down and pass it around, Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall.
Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall, Aleph-null bottles of beer, You take one down and pass it around, Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall.
Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall, Aleph-null bottles of beer, You take one down and pass it around, Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall.

[Click to view comic: 'Coda Chrome 6']
[Click to view comic: 'Coda Chrome 7']
[Click to view comic: 'Coda Chrome 8']

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

8-19-02 8:04pm (new)
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ObiJo
Eamus Catuli

Member Rated:

... by ObiJo
8-19-02
In China, when a wife gives her husband a son, it's tradition the husband give her mother a rooster.
Some fucked up people, the Chinese.

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

8-19-02 10:26pm (new)
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Smarmulus
THE ARISTOCRAT

Member Rated:

CC138 - Day Old Newspaper by Smarmulus
8-19-02
This morning I had a fairly pleasant swim.
It would have been even better had I been able to locate a blowfish.

---
"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

8-19-02 11:04pm (new)
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Smarmulus
THE ARISTOCRAT

Member Rated:

---
"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

8-19-02 11:07pm (new)
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DragonXero
I'm Here, You're Queer, Get Used to it

Member Rated:

Cowboy Monologue by DragonXero
8-20-02
So I said to him "Them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
I'm so lonely.

Apocalyptic Catharsis by DragonXero
8-20-02
Well, it would appear that the world is now completely barren and devoid of all life.
There's only one thing left to say...
All your base are belong to me.

Okay, enough stupid in-jokes.

Lizardnuns! by DragonXero
8-20-02
Man, I can't believe my mom sent me to my room.
I mean, it's not like it was that horrible.
I'm sure those nuns will grow their arms back in a couple years.

Stuffed Critters by DragonXero
8-20-02
Ever wonder why trees scream when you cut them down?
I think they do it because it hurts.
Damn. I knew I shouldn't have gotten this damn squirrel stuffed.

Hot Donkey Sex by DragonXero
8-20-02
I really should call her. It's been three days.
I've even got her phone number. I'm just so scared.
I mean, what if she wasn't drunk enough to not realize I'm a donkey?

[Click to view comic: 'Go Away!']

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

8-20-02 12:23am (new)
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Devin
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:


Them's fightin' words, Vid! Now if only I wasn't in a rut...

Diary of a video game junkie, #5 by Devin
2-28-02
Hmm, your only hobby is playing RPGs?
Maybe you should get some more variety.
Well, I have been considering getting into sports...
getting into sports
Darn it! That would've been a touchdown if I didn't fumble over my cursor keys!

CC 138: No good ideas by Devin
8-20-02
Um, raaaar, Tobor will cornhole you?


Hehe, good one, I wish I had thought of that.

8-20-02 12:40am (new)
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Devin
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

Kind of silly, but...

And please don't disqualify me. There's only one character in the strip, honest! ^_^

CC 138: Breaking the rules by Devin
8-20-02
Heh heh heh, this is my most brilliant plan yet! By turning off the lights, I can sneak extra characters into this comic without anyone knowing!
I'm breaking the rules and no one will ever know! Mwahahahaha!
...So, um, does anyone know what kind of strip we should do in the dark?

8-20-02 1:22am (new)
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my_fawn_has_diarrhea
Junior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

CC 138: And Growing In Oh-So-Many Ways by my_fawn_has_diarrhea
8-20-02
I'm a big boy now! I'm a big boy now! I'm a big boy now!
I'm a big boy now! I'm a big boy now! Ooo, I'd look pretty in that dress!
I'm a big boy now! I'm a big boy now! I'm a big boy now!

---
I'm half spit, by body weight.

8-20-02 1:41am (new)
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hipperthanu
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

freud = hilarity. or....something...

Bootilicious Madre by hipperthanu
8-20-02
So naturally I figured she must like me! Ya know, hanging out in that window all the time, looking all sexy...
I mean, she had to know I was out here watching, enjoying her every movement, wondering if I could "handle her jelly"...
My mom is such a tease!

---
dyslexia bingo?

8-20-02 1:51am (new)
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the_rew
Member - Tobor Fan Club

Member Rated:

CC 138 : Do skeletons count as props? by the_rew
8-20-02
...So I says "You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead!"
Woah! Tough crowd tonight. Did someone die out there?

---
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't

8-20-02 2:26am (new)
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israphael
Stripcreator Veteran

Member Rated:

CC 138: Why Must It Always Be About You? by israphael
8-20-02
Hi, Israphael again. I don't want you to think I'm a total loser. I have a healthy social and sex life. In fact I had sex just last week.
I recently met this great woman. We had a few drinks, a nice dinner, walked in the park, and went back to her place and made love. It was a wonderful evening.
By the way, did I mention that I got laid last week?

---
"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

8-20-02 3:56am (new)
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the_rew
Member - Tobor Fan Club

Member Rated:

CC 138 : Are We Alone? by the_rew
8-20-02
Doctor Doctor! I keep imagining people that aren't actually there!
I want a second opinion!

---
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't

8-20-02 4:03am (new)
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