Say that I have a friend who did something bone-crushingly stupid and that his significant other is totally pissed off. What should he give her, along with yet another sincere apology, to smooth the ruffled feathers. Flowers? Chocolates? Lingerie?

OK, i figure the lingerie is a long shot. But hey, make-up sex!

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

A boner.

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Jesus saves, but everyone else in a 10 foot radius takes full damage from the fireball.

Give yourself kneepads, a willing smile, and wet lips. Give her whatever she wants after that.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

How about one of those greeting cards with big-eyed children and a fucking poem?

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What others say about boorite!

Perhaps he should give her a link to her own thread full of crap ideas of things he can do to make it up to her.

Like a wheelbarrow, or "His and Her's" MATCHING barrows!

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Dad was flammable

It depends entirely on your, I mean your friend's, significant other.

I mean, if my SO did something dumb and expected flowers to fix things, it would only make things worse. Some people like flowers. Personally, I see them as the last resort of an unimaginative person, or the first resort of a person who doesn't care much.

If a gift is what you, I mean your friend, is interested in getting, get something that shows that you, I mean your friend, knows about him or her. For instance, if she's been waiting for the latest Robert Jordan novel to come out, it's coming out in January and you can pre-order it for her now, and print off the receipt for it and give it to her. That kind of thing.

Otherwise, sincere apologies are really what's important. Illustrating that you thoroughly understand what you did wrong and why it was so bad, and listening to her tell you the two or three things you didn't know about why she's upset... these things go a long way.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Without knowing more detail, the wife says, "flowers." But if it was something really really bad, sparkly carrots will do. I'm not sure what she means by that. I've never seen a sparkly carrot before. But, hey.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Which is, of course, the hay that grows out of your butt.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

No, that was a piece of TP.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

I believe sparkly carrots would be the really expensive kind you don't find at the grocery store.

And a warning: under no circumstances should he attempt to do her laundry to make it up to her unless he knows exactly what the hell he is doing. Some women have large amounts of clothing whose care instructions do not involve throwing them in the washer on hot/hot with three pairs of unzipped jeans and then throwing them into a hot dryer. Fuck up one little fruity article, and it's back to square one.

The ex attempted this once. I do not wear those fruity things; my clothes are all of the "cram in washer cram in dryer DONE" variety. And he still managed to fuck them up. I ended up with six blotchy pink shirts and eight pairs of blotchy pink socks. I have never bought a pink shirt in my entire life. I do not wear pink. These shirts were supposed to be white. No, a red sock did not accidentally get mixed up with them...he washed the sheets in the same load. Red sheets.

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-- If you call me insane again, I will eat your other eye. /usr/bin/w00t

My clothes are also all wash/dry/done clothes. Yet, somehow, two of my favorite sweaters were shrunk in such a way that the aspect ratio was completely lost. They became appropriate for a child of 5 if measured lengthwise, but wide enough to fit an average adult male if measured widthwise. I kept them for a while out of sheer fascination.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

What exactly happens when poems fuck?

I wrote a fictional fucking poem once:

Once I fucked a girl of 18
She was my highschool's homecoming queen.
We fucked all night and until sunrise,
I stayed planted between her thighs.
I came 3 times, she came five,
I had never felt so alive.
Our bodies were sweaty and our cheeks were red,
Then I pulled out and she gave me head.
I will never forget that night of bliss,
Fore I have a reminder called syphillis.

Thank you...thank you.

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Welcome to Bohemia. Population: a lot Cash flow: a little

Buy her something you would truly like her to have. Think with your heart. Then look her in the eyes and tell her the truth and tell her you feel bad and then just fuck off for a bit unless she needs you to stay. Give her the truth and room.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I am usually quite good with my wife's laundry (anything dirty clothes that do NOT go into the dryer go into a blue blag -- which means they go into special fabric gentle-wash bags in the washer and then are hung). Which worked fine, until we came back from a trip and, in a helpful way, went ahead and did the laundry, taking everything right from the suitcases. In which case, there was nothing in the blue laundry bag, so everything went in the dryer.

Mush shrinkage occured.

As for myself, other than dress suits and shirts (whch go to the cleaners), I refuse to have any clothes that I cannot simply wash and throw in the dryer. And it better not require ironing. Do I need to get the creases out of a shirt in the morning? A few minutes in the dryer on the de-wrinkle cycle does the trick.

Sure, I'm lazy, but at least I do the laundry.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

I am usually the one pulling my wife's clothes out of the washer and going "OH MY GOD! Did you read the care instructions?"

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What others say about boorite!

Well, being a low maintenance person, I own almost no dry-clean only clothing. 99% of my clothing can be machine washed. However, I have one or two items that are not supposed to be dried in a dryer. Paul is well-acquainted with these items. One of them is my favorite dress ever, because it fits so well and only cost me $20. I was so happy when I found it that it was posted about here. :)

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent