After months of research I have come to the conclusion that many e-mail spammers are suffering from some horrible new neurological condition. Victims of this previously undocumented disease are seized suddenly and violently. The ailment appears to immediately and severely impair their ability to coherently speak or type even simple words. As evidence, I present the subject lines of several spam e-mails I've received recently:

", i know this works kldby"
", yes! jhewx"
"free xrated fortune cookies 5aMu4nJmRU9 9OtCQ"
", good idea! jf"
"save up to 80% on insurance dP-hud-laTSMa"
"galks Huge gadget sale hjnfkecyh"
"midgets with huge cocks lrlpozul"

Thankfully, it appears that only spammers are affected by this terrifying condition. To date I know of no other confirmed cases. (Though many internet users may seem to exhibit the symptoms, it usually turns out that they're either quoting JerkCity or were just born stupid.) Therefore I implore you, if not out of politeness, then at least for the sake of your own health, please, don't spam.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

What about script kiddies? I'd think they had some strain of this disorder.

I don't know if I'm just out of practice or what. Apparently I forgot that when I have an idea that I think is funny, I'm supposed to make a comic, not a forum post.

Spammer's Disease by evil_d 1-04-03

stickman, i know this works kldby save up to 80% on insurance dP-hud-laTSMa midgets with huge cocks lrlpozul Whatever horrible neurological condition all these spammers are developing... I hope it's fatal.

Well, maybe people who haven't seen this post yet will laugh at it.

I figure they're included in the "born stupid" category.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Knife in Ear Disease by itsclark 1-04-03

Midgets with huge cocksXbhGYsL That trailed off strangely. I hope whoever sent me this thoughtful E-mail offer is OK... [tap tap] Midgets with huge... cocksXbhGYsL Viva la Revolucion!

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

quote:

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Spammer's Disease by evil_d 1-04-03

stickman, i know this works kldby save up to 80% on insurance dP-hud-laTSMa midgets with huge cocks lrlpozul Whatever horrible neurological condition all these spammers are developing... I hope it's fatal.

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Speaking of spam, I got this junk mail a few days ago with the subject "I LOVE TO SOCK DICK." Now THAT'S kinkiness to the extreme.

You too can earn from home in your spare time by dommiel84 1-11-03

Father Derek checks his hotmail account RE: Women's health. Are you too dry? These spammers don't care who they send to RE: Shocking news! Everyone's laughing at you. Enlarge your penis... Shit! How do they know??? In Jeff's secret surveilance bunker Ah, easy money. With the cheques rolling in from these online companies I only owe £8,694.37 more for the spy cameras Dear Mr. Durden, we thank you for the list of people with small penises, for future refernce, however, we do not require any pictures...

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Scratch and sniff porn isn't as good as I'd hoped