My college roommate is in the Army. He's working as an aide to a general or something, and last weekend that general got the news that he was going to Iraq, so my roommate is too.
Aside from being in the military I think he's a pretty good guy. We have a good time whenever he visits and on the whole I'd rather not see him die. Last time he was up to visit, before war had actually been declared, another of my former roommates asked him how he felt about the prospect. He said, "I follow the orders of my commanding officer." They said, sure, but what do you really think? He said, "Are you kidding? I don't want to go to war."
Part of the reason I'm against the war is because I don't want my friend to die in it. And really, neither does he. (Whether it's his own damn fault for enlisting is something we can debate later. We've discussed the issue and he does support the US' actions, but that's also beside the point for now.)
I've got this quote from Noam Chomsky on my web page about how "support our troops" is basically a meaningless phrase. Do I support our troops? I don't want them to die. But I don't want the Iraqi troops to die either. Do I support our government's policy? Certainly not.
That's why War is Bad. We can argue all day about who's overstepping their boundaries or who's violating international law, but those are only secondary problems with the war. The most important thing is that War Is Bad Because People Die. Maybe people you care about. Certainly people that someone else cares about.
I can see, theoretically speaking, that maybe some good could come of this whole business. And I could see, in extreme circumstances, where even I might decide that there was an evil so great that I would be willing to risk my life to fight it. But here and now? No. This doesn't come close. I wouldn't fight for this cause. And I can't ask anyone else to do anything I wouldn't be willing to do myself. There's a concept too many leaders on both sides can't grasp.
So, chicka, my points are: first of all, of course you want to support the people you know who are involved in the conflict, but that's not the same as saying you support the reasons for the conflict, or the reality of the conflict. You can make those decisions separately. Second, I'd say your boyfriend should enlist, if he hasn't already. Like Spankling said: any able-bodied individual who is in favor of the war should be actively helping to fight it. Otherwise you're asking other people to put their lives on the line for your cause, but refusing to do it yourself. As for whether you yourself should enlist, I'd say no. It sounds like you're not willing to fight for this cause. I'd also say that makes you anti-war.
If you'd never be willing to fight for any cause, I'd say that makes you a pacifist. Consider joing the War Resisters League.
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!