Negative zero by crabby 8-06-03

I found a job! I'll finally be able to get out of the house. I'll be able to help with the bills. It will be so great to just get out of the house. You can't work! Nobody will ever respect you because you're a woman. Besides I'm already working three jobs to support us. But if I work then you can quit.... You stop right there! I love being a cop and you know it! I don't need any help with the bills either. I do a damn good job of taking care of this family. Fine then you can keep the cop job but you could quit.... DAMN YOU! I love being a pirate even more than being a cop! I'm off to go.... Do pirate buisness.

Negative Zero II by crabby 8-06-03

Hello. I'm calling about your ad in the paper. I really need a job to get out of the house. You say it pays well? It pays. What? I can't hear you. Have you tried picking up the phone? no. You start tommorow.

Negative Zero III by crabby 8-06-03

So what exactly do I have to do? Didn't you get the fax? I faxed you the job description. It was a blank sheet of paper. Good! Now get started. Work is hard.

Negative Zero IV by crabby 8-06-03

Honey, I just got back from work and couldn't help but notice a christmas tree in our living room. I got a job! Building christmas trees in our living room? Not just ours! So how many others did you build today? Well, I just did the one. But it is my first day.

Negative Zero V by crabby 8-06-03

How much did you get paid? Nothing yet! I just worked the one day! Have you even thought about how confused our son will be? It's August and theres a christmas tree in our living room. I'm sure he won't even notice. You're getting upset over nothing. I'm just trying to help. WHAT THE FUCK!

Negative Zero VI by crabby 8-06-03

Do you have anymore jobs for me? No! We've gone out of buisness. What? I can't hear you. Have you tried picking up the phone? no. You're fired.

Negative Zero VII by crabby 8-06-03

You'll be happy to know that I got fired today. Great! It's not great! I want to do something. I'm tired of just sitting around the house. I'll pay you to take that Chritmas tree down. Work is hard.

Negative Zero VIII by crabby 8-06-03

I finished taking down the tree. But now I need a real job. I have a document here from the surgeon general which states that working is bad for you. But you work and you're fine. This letter says that work causes your vagina to implode. I don't have a vagina. So if I didn't have a vagina I could work? What the fuck are you talking about? I mean seriously have you even listened to anything you've said lately?

Negative Zero IX by crabby 8-06-03

I've got a new job for you if you want it. I never got paid for putting that Christmas tree up. Do you want to work or not! ok. I'm going to need a horse.

Negative Zero X by crabby 8-06-03

I got another job. You really need to read this report. You're putting yourself in serious danger. I need to go get ready for work I can scold you more for this later. What the fuck! Your wife stole me from my owner. She's mentally unstable. I found a horse in my bathroom. yes.

Negative Zero XI by crabby 8-06-03

What do you want me to do with this horse? What? Horse? Oh right. Turns out the problem with my car was the muffler. Do whatever you want with the horse. I need to kill you. I only stole you for work. I'm only working because I'm bored. Have you considered an affair?

!!

Aweomely awesome. in like, an awesome way.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Amazing.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Amazing.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

My favorite part was when it was funny. Which was always.

I'm clever as a fox.

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Poop.

I thought part VIII was brilliant.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

I should have read this sooner, five stars.

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Dad was flammable