I had started these awhile ago and thought of a new one today. I figured that some of you guys might come up with better ones. The jist, if it doesn't make sense, is names for groups of things (a murder of ravens, a school of fish, etc.) but made more practical. Enjoy.

New names for groups of things (w/ respect to S. Appleby) by mmyers 5-30-03

A Disappointment of mothers. You were so smart when you were younger. Why didn't you stay in school? You should have married Karen. Now you'll be alone forever. A Stink of hippys. Man, I haven't bathed in weeks. Have you tried covering it up with clove cigarettes and pachuli oil? It totally works. A Smacking of pimps. I said, "Bitch, you better have my Star Wars toys still in the packages." Damn straight.

New names for groups of things (2) by mmyers 5-30-03

An Unemployment of artists. Can I crash at your place until I get back on my feet again...and get some new headshots? Rock on...in my mom's basement. A Staring of Mexicans. A Keg of college students. Show us your tits! Wooo! Dude, I'm a dude...oh, what the hell.

New names for groups of things (3) by mmyers 5-30-03

A Value Meal of cows. I don't like the way they're looking at us. I have mad cow disease. A Loser of ex-boyfriends. Tina? Yeah I did her. I was drunk. I did her and her sister. Can I borrow a couple of bucks? A Bladder of people waiting to go to the bathroom. Hurry up in there. There's people out here waiting, dude.

New names for groups of things (4) by mmyers 8-15-03

A cereal of killers Boy, I could really go for some fresh meat. You took the words right out of mouth. A waste of coworkers I'm going to go smoke around back until 5:00. I'm going to go sober up in the broom closet. Have a good weekend. A gawking of breast implants. Dear God, how is she even able to keep balanced? I wish guys would quit staring at my outrageously oversized fake breasts!

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Top stuff :)

I'm running out of good things to say about mmyers these days. Great stuff.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Damn mmyers, that was one fantastic Tease of Strips.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

I had a friend who used to use the term "A Bungle of Mall Security Guards."

Yeah, whomever rated him less than "Good," needs a talking to. If only stars were like kidneys and I could donate one of mine to him...

I'd like to personally thank whoever said I was "Wooden Leg Tastic" to put me up to the magic 5 stars.

And if I could vote for mmyers again, or do a Jeb Bush style "block" on "unfriendly" voters, I would.

I'm away to think of some more modern collective pronouns...

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Thanks gang. I'm not sure who I pissed off to drop in the ratings (or heaven forbid, they don't like my stuff) but if I can make you guys laugh, I feel pretty darn good. And choad, I might ask for that star if I drop down to 3 stars. I look at 4 stars as the B+ of grades (above average) and 3 as the C- (bad sucky sucky jokes). Of course, 5 stars is like the T-Birds in Grease. Cool.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Awesome stuff, mmyers. Thanks for the laugh!

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

Oh good. My vote brought him back up to 5 stars.

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This is not my empire.

Hey thanks! I'm trying to think of a song from Grease to sing in honor of it but I'm not very familiar with the songs, except for the "Tell me more, tell me more" song.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.