All comics by MrFackingNoodles

Profile

 

Hey man, nice balls.
WHAT?!
Nothing...nothing...I said nice ball...
You said "Balls"..
Today's lesson kids.....don't take drugs.
N...No I didn't...I said ball.

 

Out of work actor Mike Hunt thinks of a way to regain his performance for his upcoming show...
Maybe I could...what if I?...hmmm...
Working quickly, Mike sets up his act and gets ready to present it.
I've got an idea! I'm back, baby!
At the start of his show at a local Gay Bar, he realises his fatal mistake.
....wait a minute...

 

Why do I have to work with Derek, he's such a fuckup.
What a fuckin' idiot, look at him. I wish he was in hell right now.
Hah hah, don't wish for everything kids, it might just come true...
Oh, I get turned into a clown, how the fuck is that fair?
Wow, that floor would look great in my bathroom.

 

Derek gets his herpes test results back...
Dear Derek....blah blah blah...inform you that you're contagious...what does contagious mean?
You wanna know what it means?
...yeah....use it in a sentance.
Oh ok. When my dad had the painters in, they were using really small brushes...so my dad said...
"It's gonna take that contagious."

 

Sorry in advance.
*Ring ring* "Hi, you rang Jesus's phone. I'm not in right now, I'm probably out dieing for your sins or something. Leave a message after the beep, and I'll get back to you."
*Beep* "Hi. Jesus, could you pick up? You were acting like a total asshole today Jesus. Could you pick up?"
I can't pick up! I'm tied to a cross!

 

Based on a true story.
Bastante...which means quite...can you say it, Jack?
Bastardo.
No, Bastante.
Bastardo.
Get out of my class.

 

Can you say 'Beach' in Spanish, Jack?
Hang on, I know this one...
Is it the "Si-side"?
....go home, Jack.

 

JESUS CHRIST, this phone bill is HUGE!
Really? I...I haven't seen it...
...........
..............

Showing page 1.