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by evil_d
As part of America's continuing effort to keep the world safe for democracy, President W declares war on the sun!
Folks, I'm tellin' ya, war with the sun is just plain good for the economy.
We've already made some trillion-dollar spaceship-building contracts. And our victory will mean lots of new jobs at your local power company!
Regular citizens support the war 100%!
When a drought wipes out your crops, whose fault is it? That's right, it's the sun's fault.
How about all the elderly who die of heat stroke? Or all the victims of skin cancer?
The nation's best and brightest fight bravely on the front line!
Having a giant ball of flaming gas a mere 8 light minutes from Earth just ain't safe. It's our duty to blow it up, before it goes supernova and kills us all!
Some say we're fighting an impossible battle, but with good ol' Yankee determination on our side, we can win anything!
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