All comics by Jeanster

Profile

 

by Jeanster
1-31-04
Meet Amy Chan and Lena Moy
Hi. I'm Amy.
And I'm Lena.
Mom is letting me have Lena over for a sleepover.
Yeah, a sleepover.
Mom thinks I'm such a good girl because I won't let any boys date me or kiss me.
I wonder what Amy's mom would think if she knew Amy and I are two dykes in love!

 

by Jeanster
1-31-04
The scene takes place aboard an alien spacecraft leaving Earth
Well, we did it.
We certainly did.
Our friends and family can tune in and see us.
Yes! On The X-Files!
These nifty souvenir ray-guns they gave us are neato!
Yeah. Way better than wearing something that says, "I appeared on The X-Files, and all I got out of it was this stupid t-shirt"

 

by Jeanster
1-31-04
Gabe arrived at the park and found a bench on which to sit.
Finally. Some peace and quiet. I need to be alone with my thoughts. That was a good idea to come here to get away from my noisy family back at home.
Uh-oh.
Hey, dude. Got any nuts?
I am so screwed.
Hand over some nuts or I go for the ones in your crotch area!

 

by Jeanster
1-31-04
King Arthur, what can I do for you?
Merlin, I need you to make me younger so that Guinevere won't stray from me. I suspect Sir Lancelot might try to steal her from me.
I have just the spell. Alakazam!
Oopsie-doodle! My bad.
Goo-goo?

 

by Jeanster
1-31-04
Maura and Pete are arguing about her eating habits.
I am NOT anorexic! I just want to lose a few more pounds in order to reach my goal.
All you had for lunch today was a radish. And you only ate half of that.
You just don't understand. Hey, do you hear something?
Don't try to change the subject.
How NOT to lose weight.

 

by Jeanster
2-01-04
Geek Boy has accepted Dr. Mad Scientist's offer to help him get a girlfriend by being a guinea pig in the Doc's latest invention.
Dr. Mad Scientist, are you sure this invention of yours will make me attractive to girls?
Yes, Geek Boy. Now get inside the machine.
There. Now come on out and let's take a look at you.
Uh, Doc? I don't think this is going to help me attract girls.
Hey, don't blame me, Geek Boy. You're the one who specified, "Sense of Humor" on the form you filled out.

 

by Jeanster
2-01-04
Geek Boy regrest his decision to have Dr. Mad Scientist help make him attractive to girls.
Doc, change me back! I can't attract girls when I look this!
Sheesh! All right, already. Stop your whining. Get back inside the machine.
There. Come on out, you whiner.
Geek Boy is relieved to be back to his normal self.
Whew! Thanks, Doc. I think I'll work on improving my appearance without your help. But thanks for trying.
Are you sure? We could try once more. Just be sure to fill out the form carefully. What do you say?

 

by Jeanster
2-01-04
Geek Boy ponders whether or not to let Dr. Mad Scientist try again to make him attractive to girls.
Gee, Doc, it's nice of you to offer, but I dunno. . .
Fine! Go! Leave! You ungrateful whining loser geek! Why don't you just read some makeover articles in GQ?
Geek Boy figures he might kick himself for this later, but he agrees to let the Doc try again.
Well, uh, okay. I'll fill out another form.
That's the spirit!
Later. . .
AARRGGHH! You made me look just like you!
Wonderful, isn't it? You indicated clearly on the form that you want to look like a handsome, manly hunk. Happy now?

 

by Jeanster
2-01-04
Geek Boy is horrified now that he looks exactly like Dr. Mad Scientist.
CHANGE ME BACK! CHANGE ME BACK! CHANGE ME BACK! CHANGE ME BACK!
Sheesh! Make up your mind! All right, already! Quit it with your whining!
Geek Boy jumps back into the machine and the Doc presses the button.
Seems a shame, though. There isn't enough beauty in this world. You could have stayed looking as gorgeous as I am.
Geek Boy is changed back to his normal self.
Whew! Thanks, Doc. I'm out of here. I'll make myself attractive without anymore of your help, thank you very much.
Fine! Leave! Get out of my lab, you loser virgin geek boy! Good luck! You're going to need it! May I suggest you make it easier on yourself and just go buy a blow-up doll?

 

by Jeanster
2-01-04
Debbie is asking Geek Boy something, but he finds it difficult to pay attention to what she's saying.
Gee, Debbie sure is a babe! I'd love to hold her close to me and . . .
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?
Huh?
You're picturing me without my clothes on, aren't you? And I'll bet you haven't heard a word I've said during the past five minutes!
How do girls know these things?
Honestly! Never mind. I'll go ask someone else to tutuor me in First Aid CPR. Hey, Brad! Yoo-hoo! Got a minute?

 

by Jeanster
2-01-04
I sure hope that cute super hottie Geek Boy asks me to the school dance.
Oh, no. I'm hoping Geek Boy will ask ME to the school dance.
Geek Boy is MINE! Don't you ever forget it!
I, Valkyrie Girl, be neweth in these Halls of Learning, but I pray to the Gods of Asgard that Geek Boy will asketh ME to the school dance!
Geek Boy writes an entry in his Livejournal, and his buddy submits a comment.
And then I woke up. Some dream, huh?
Man! School babes fighting over you? And a hot Valkyrie chick? We should be so lucky to get a transfer student like that!

 

by Jeanster
2-01-04
Geek Boy decides to ask out the town Vampire Slayer.
Uh, Holly? Would you like to go to the school dance with me?
Sorry, Geek Boy. Between slaying vampires and other demons and keeping up with schoolwork, I don't have time for a social life.
Uh, okay. Sorry I bothered you.
You didn't bother me, Geek Boy. It's also that you're not an immortal. I like my men to be hot vampires with a soul.
Maybe if I'm lucky, my evil vampire twin Doppelganger will come to town and give me a cool reputation as a hottie.

 

by Jeanster
2-01-04
Geek Boy has a visitor.
Astronaut Boy! What brings you here?
I heard you could use some advice about attracting girls, Geek Boy. I'm here to help you before I take off into space again.
They go to Geek Boy's room to talk.
Sure, being a famous astronaut helps me get girls, but what really matters is the man inside the suit, not just the suit.
Why haven't I ever noticed before how cute Astronaut Boy is?
Geek Boy? Were you just picturing me without my clothes on?
Argh! Busted!

 

by Jeanster
2-01-04
Astronaut Boy puts Geek Boy at ease.
Even if you were picturing me without my clothes on, there's no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed, Geek Boy.
There isn't? Not that I was picturing you that way, mind you.
Of course not.
Gah! I'm doing it again!
Geek Boy is surprised by his new feelings for Astronaut Boy.
Let's talk about this after I get back from my trip into space, okay?
Come back soon, Astronaut Boy! There's so much I want to do with you now!

 

by Jeanster
2-01-04
Astronaut Boy and Astronaut Monkey are on a mission to explore the surface of the moon.
Well, Astronaut Monkey, here we are on the moon. Just you and I.
Frickin' dull barren ugly moon surface.
Eep!
Not one frickin' banana in sight anywhere.
Do I subconsciously want to be here with Geek Boy instead of Astronaut Monkey?
Hey, what do you know? My Gay-dar just picked up a signal. Well, I won't have to worry about Astronaut Boy wanting to shag outside his species. My ass is safe.

 

by Jeanster
2-01-04
Astronaut Boy and Astronaut Monkey have finished exploring the moon. They are returning to Earth.
Astronaut Monkey, I find myself attracted to Geek Boy. I've been having erotic dreams about him during this mission.
Astronaut Boy, as long as you're not having erotic dreams about ME, I don't care.
What a blow that will be to all my girlfriends.
What they ever saw in you, I'll never know.
What will my parents think? And my friends?
Uh, you haven't been pleasuring yourself with my bananas, have you?

 

by Jeanster
2-01-04
Astronaut Boy rushes back to visit Geek Boy, only to find . . .
Hello, Astronaut Boy.
Oh, no! Geek Boy! What happened to you?
Nothing, Astronaut Boy. I was just testing my cousin's wheelchair after we got it back from the repair shop. See? I'm fine.
Thank heavens! Geek Boy, I had an epiphany during my last mission! I don't want girls! I want you!
A moment later in Geek Boy's bedroom . .
Uh, Geek Boy? Don't you want to, uh, you know . . . ?
Be right with you, Astronaut Boy. Just want to finish writing about this in my Livejournal. "I have found my true love . . ."

 

by Jeanster
2-02-04
The news media is having a field day regarding famous Astronaut Boy's social life.
Good evening. I'm Beth Jones. Our top story: Astronaut Boy has a new love interest. And it's not a girl.
Astronaut Boy watches the news while Geek Boy is in the shower.
Astronaut Boy leaves behind a trail of broken-hearted girls now that he is romantically involved with a small town citizen: Geek Boy!
Argh! Who spilled the beans? Couldn't have been Geek Boy. He didn't name any names in his Livejournal when he wrote about us.
Channel 3 News switches to Reporter Mark Grayson in an exclusive interview with his source of this news story.
Beth, I'm here with Astronaut Monkey who provided us with candid shots he took with his camera phone
Just keep this lifetime supply of bananas coming and I'll tell you all you want to know.

 

by Jeanster
2-03-04
Astronaut Boy and Astronaut Monkey are exploring an alien planet.
It’s good to know that Astronaut Boy isn’t holding a grudge against me for outing him.
According to our readings, there should be a grove of bananas a few kilometers that way. This planet is known for its delicious fruits and vegetables, even better tasting than the ones on Earth.
Bananas? I'm there!
Psych!
Good luck hitchhiking your way back home, Astronaut Monkey! Ha-ha-ha!

 

by Jeanster
2-03-04
Later in Geek Boy's bedroom . . .
So you just left Astronaut Monkey there on that alien planet?
Sure. But that was just to scare him. I arranged for Hero Dude to fly him back to Earth shortly after I left that planet.
An hour later Hero Dude meets up with Astronaut Boy.
Hello, Astronaut Boy, I have some good news and bad news.
Hero Dude, where’s Astronaut Monkey?
I couldn’t find him on that alien planet. I searched all over. There wasn’t a trace of Astronaut Monkey there.
Okay. Now tell me the bad news.

 

by Jeanster
2-03-04
Astronaut Boy leaves the White House after being scolded by the President of the United States.
Wow, the President sure was angry at you for what you did to Astronaut Monkey.
Yeah. Hero Dude, I have to find that annoying little monkey. Will you help me?
Sure.
Thanks. I owe you one. If there's anything I can do for you, you just name it.
Okay. Tell you what. If things don't work out between you and Geek Boy, will you go out with me? I've always thought you were cute.
Hmm. That depends. What do you look like under that mask?

 

by Jeanster
2-04-04
This scene takes place in the lobby of the Stripcreator Theatre
May I help you?
Yeah. I'll have a medium coke and a large bucket of popcorn. And put a hole in the bottom of the bucket.
Uh, that's an unusual request, sir. Why would you want that?
Well, you see, I'm viewing Jeanster's series on "The Outing of Astronaut Boy", so . . .
Say no more! I completely understand. One medium coke and one large bucket of popcorn with a hole cut out at the bottom, coming right up.
That might not be the only thing coming right up, if you know what I mean. *snicker*

 

by Jeanster
2-04-04
Ninja Warrior, I'll be away on a misson to help Astronaut Boy find Astronaut Monkey.
Do you think I'm blind, Hero Dude? I know you have the hots for him!
That's not true. I wouldn't kiss that monkey if you paid me a million dollars.
You know damn well I'm not talking about the monkey! You want Astronaut Boy! Don't deny it!
Ninja Warrior, maybe we've been together too long. It's time we moved on and started seeing other people.
That's it? You'd toss me aside after all I've done for you? Last I heard, Astronaut Boy and Geek Boy are still an item. Are you planning to change that?

 

by Jeanster
2-05-04
Unknown to everyone on Earth, Astronaut Monkey was rescued from the alien planet by telepathic beings from another world.
Thanks for letting me hitch a ride with you, Mr. Alien.
You're quite welcome, Astronaut Monkey. How did you come to be stranded on that planet?
Beats me. I'm just a cute, sweet, innocent monkey who everybody loves.
May I remind you that I AM telepathic?
All right, all right. I pissed off Astronaut Boy by outing him on national television, so he tricked me and left me on that planet. Why did you ask me how I got stranded if you could read my mind?
Just making conversation. Next stop will be Earth. Meanwhile, make yourself comfortable. Why don't you get out of that airsuit? The environmental controls are set so that you can breathe the air.

 

by Jeanster
2-05-04
Astronaut Monkey removes his airsuit.
I do feel more comfortable out of that airsuit.
That's good. Why don't you go make yourself comfortable in that chair over there?
You mean that chair with all those scary-looking devices around it? No, thanks. I'm quite comfortable standing right here.
Oh, but I insist. And so does my little friend here, Mr. Ray Gun. See?
I am so screwed, aren't I?
You will be in a few minutes. You didn't expect to get a ride aboard our ship without an obligatory probing session, did you? It's tradition. Don't you ever watch The X-Files?

 

by Jeanster
2-05-04
A Fellowship is formed. Among them are a Ranger and a Wizard.
Gandalf frees Theoden.
Gollum and the Ring fall into fire. Sauron is defeated.

 

by Jeanster
2-05-04
Geek Boy and Astronaut Boy spend one last night together before Astronaut Boy is to search for Astronaut Monkey.
Ninja Warrior told me that Hero Dude wants you. Do you know anything about that?
Oh, that. He only asked me to go out with him if things don't work out between you and me.
But we're okay, right? You and me are a good thing, right?
Of course we are. I won't let anyone come between us.
Good. Neither will I. Let's go to bed. I have to leave early in the morning to search for that monkey.

 

by Jeanster
2-07-04
Today on Maura Stuart Living
Today I'm going to show you how to generate gravitons using simple household rotor turbines.
Generating gravitons. They're a good thing.
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by Jeanster
2-07-04
After the probing session Astronaut Monkey is locked in the brig of the telepathic beings' space ship.
What do you want now? Please don't probe me again. I promise to be good.
Promise all you want. The ship's captain wants to probe you personally. You'll be taken to his quarters. Finish eating that banana. You'll need your strength.
Suddenly they hear a loud buzzing.
What's that buzzing sound?
Wait here. I'll get that. It must be the pizza we ordered.
Pizza?
I hope they got the order right. Last time they forgot the mushrooms and pepperoni.

 

by Jeanster
2-07-04
A friend sent me this joke. A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is you job, and I can just wait for my coffee.
No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should make the coffee.
I can't believe that, show me.
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says....
"HEBREWS "

 

by Jeanster
2-07-04
Geek Boy is watching his favorite cartoon series when suddenly. . .
We interrupt this program to bring you this important breaking news story!
It had better be important. You butted right into the middle of Justice League!
Astronaut Monkey has been rescued! We bring you now live in front of the White House. Astronaut Boy, how did you rescue Astronaut Monkey from that alien space ship?
I couldn't have done it without Hero Dude. It was his idea to disguise himself as the Intergallactic Pizza Delivery Guy to get us aboard that ship.
My Gay-dar picked up strong vibes from Hero Dude each time he looked at Astronaut Boy during my rescue. Geek Boy is in for some competition.

 

by Jeanster
2-07-04
Meanwhile at the Laboratory. . .
Mission complete. You can change me back now, Dr. Mad Scientist.
Glad I could help, Hero Dude.
Ah, that's more like it.
Hero Dude, you just finished helping Astronaut Boy rescue Astronaut Monkey. What will you do now?
I'm going to steal that cute Astronaut Boy from that loser Geek Boy, that's what.

 

by Jeanster
2-07-04
Jon tells Phillip that he will be meeting his Internet friend Maura for the very first time that night for dinner.
Phillip, I finally have a date with Maura! I'll see her tonight at seven!
That's great, Jon. I'll just stay home and wallow in self-pity while I stuff my face with all this junk food.
But that night at the restaurant . . .
Sorry, Jon. It could never work out between us. We're just too different.
What do you mean, Maura? Different religions? Different backgrounds? Different dietary preferences?
Soon afterward back at Jon's apartment . . .
. . . and that's when I learned that I'm "monochrome" as opposed to "polychrome".
???

 

by Jeanster
2-07-04
Hero Dude pays a visit to a local Witch.
I need a love spell. Can you help me?
That depends. My spells are not cheap. Can you afford to pay dearly for what you desire?
Ninja Warrior warns Astronaut Boy.
Be careful, Astronaut Boy. Hero Dude is obsessed with you. He will stop at nothing to steal you away from Geek Boy.
What do you think he'll do?
That night in Geek Boy's bedroom . . .
I love you, Geek Boy.
And I love you, Astronaut Boy.

 

by Jeanster
2-07-04
The Witch casts the love spell.
There. The funds have been electronically deposited into your account. Are you sure the love spell will work?
Positive. Astronaut Boy will be yours within the hour.
Sure enough, Geek Boy is dumped by Astronaut Boy.
I don't understand. Just last night you told me you loved me.
Sorry, Geek Boy. I just don't feel the same way about you anymore. Good-bye.
Astronaut Boy wastes no time throwing himself at Hero Dude.
I'm all yours for the taking, Hero Dude. Can I finally see what you look like under that mask?
Now that you are mine, I feel I can trust you with my secret identity.

 

by Jeanster
2-08-04
Hero Dude paid a handsome sum to the Witch for a love spell. He has stolen Astronaut Boy from Geek Boy. I'll pay you handsomely to reverse what the Witch has done.
Agreed.
And sure enough . . .
Never mind showing me what you look like under that mask. You no longer rock my world. I'm going back to Geek Boy, if he'll have me.
Ack! What happened?!
Astronaut Boy is surprised and happy when Geek Boy takes him back.
Hero Dude used a love spell on me?
Yes. See? I've hacked into his bank account and that of the Witch. A large sum of money was paid to her shortly before you broke up with me.

 

by Jeanster
2-08-04
Hero Dude meets with the Witch, the Wizard and also the Fairy for good measure.
Okay, here's the deal. I'll pay all three of you to help me win back Astronaut Boy from that loser Geek Boy.
Agreed.
The three magical beings figure if they play their cards right they'll be able to retire in style.
Agreed.
Agreed.
Ninja Warrior has alerted Astronaut Boy and Geek Boy of Hero Dude's plan.
I feel like a puppet being manipulated by supernatural forces.
Time to call in the calvary. I'll send him an e-mail. Let's hope he gets it in time to help us.

 

by Jeanster
2-08-04
The artist who draws Hero Dude receives Geek Boy's e-mail message.
. . . so can you please help us?
Sure thing, Geek Boy. I'll get my Magic Drawing Pad.
The artist knows just what to do when a hero goes bad.
First we delete Hero Dude with my Magic Eraser.
Hey! What are you doing with that?

 

by Jeanster
2-08-04
After deleting Hero Dude with the Magic Eraser, Hero Dude's memory fades.
Oh, shit! Just you wait until I , uh, hey, wait a second. Who am I?
And now I recreate Hero Dude with a fresh new memory.
And thus, Hero Dude is reborn, this time with no selfish desire to break up happy couples.
Hi! I'm Hero Dude! Crime-fighter and all-around do-gooder!

 

by Jeanster
2-08-04
And everybody in town lived happily ever after . . .
Once again you've saved the day for us, Hero Dude! Thank you!
My pleasure, Mr. Mayor.
. . . thanks to the artist with his Magic Drawing Pad, Eraser and Pencil.
Astronaut Boy and Geek Boy would never forget how the artist helped them.
We'll always be together, won't we?
Always. Until the end of time.

 

by Jeanster
2-09-04
I'm off to the grocery store, Tweetsie. Be right back.
Hey, I thought I saw a Kitty Cat!
Well, isn't that thoughtful of Granny.
*BURP!* She remembered that I'm on the high-protein/low-carb diet.

 

by Jeanster
2-10-04
Maura is impressed with hard-working intern Blondi.
Blondi, you've been such a great intern that I'm inviting you to attend our staff meeting which starts in ten minutes.
Staff meeting? Uh, okay, Maura.
You've proven yourself to be bright and intelligent. I think you can really contribute something to our meeting. See you in the East Conference Room in ten minutes.
East Conference Room? Yes, Maura. Uh, may I ask you something?
To be continued, where Blondi tells Maura about what staff meetings were like at her old job. . .
Sure, Blondi. What is it?
Are the staff meetings here anything like the ones where I worked before?

 

by Jeanster
2-10-04
Maura isn't sure how to answer Blondi's question without first getting more information.
Why don't you tell me what the staff meetings were like at your old job? Then I'll be able to answer your question.
Well, okay, Maura.
"It was a very small business. Just Mr. Jones and I. And it was my very first job."
"The staff meetings were always held in a nearby motel room."
Uh, Mr. Jones, why do I have take my clothes off for this staff meeting?
Don't question me, Blondi. Now get into bed with me, pronto.

 

by Jeanster
2-10-04
"Mr. Jones explained to me that these were called 'staff meetings' because of what he wanted me to do with his 'staff'. You know, his thingie."
Mr. Jones, are you sure I should be doing this?
Don't question me, Blondi. Just do as I say.
"So I did everything he told me to do."
I think I remember my sex ed teacher telling us something about this. But I don't remember exactly what.
OH, GOD! OH, GOD! OH, GOD! Don't stop, Blondi! Just keep doing exactly what you're doing!
Maura cannot believe her ears.
Blondi is definitely living up to the stereotype of her name. How do I begin to educate her? Is it even my job to do so?
So is there a bed in the Conference Room to hold everyone who will be there?

 

by Jeanster
2-10-04
Maura confides in her colleague IndyPete about what happend to Blondi.
Can you believe what a total lecherous creep her former boss was? How dare he use Blondi like that!
Yes, that's utterly disgraceful. However, Blondi's naive nature explains a lot.
What do you mean?
When I asked her to come into my office for some dictation, she came in, closed the door, unzipped my pants and got down on her knees.
Gaaaahhhhh!
Mr. Jones must have given Blondi his own definition of what DIC-tation is.

 

by Jeanster
2-10-04
Maura decides to confront Blondi's former boss about his lecherous behavior.
Mr. Jones, get ready for a much-deserved ass-kicking.
Maura arrives at Blondi's former place of employment where Mr. Jones still works.
Well, here goes.
Maura is surprised by her own reaction upon meeting Mr. Tyler Jones..
Yes? May I help you?
Holy shit! He's GORGEOUS! Hommina-hommina-hommina! I can't think straight! He's a hottie!

 

by Jeanster
2-10-04
Maura introduces herself and explains to Mr. Tyler Jones about her concerns about Blondi.
Is that what Blondi said about me? I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
Do you deny what she's told me?
An intelligent woman such as yourself must realize there are two sides to every story. Would you like to hear mine?
Of course. No one can accuse me of not being open-minded.
Blondi needs help. She's disturbed. I can show you the restraining order on her and a copy of the police report. She's stalked me, broken into my home and terrorized my girlfriend.
What????!!!

 

by Jeanster
2-10-04
Maura is shocked by what Mr. Tyler Jones has told her.
My girlfriend left me as a result of Blondi's actions. My life has been turned completely upside down.
I'm sorry, Mr. Jones. Thank you for showing me those documents. I feel so ashamed for believing those terrible things Blondi said about you.
You can make it up to me by having dinner with me tonight.
Oh. Well, uh. . .
Please forgive me. It was presumptious of me to assume that a beautiful woman such as you would not already have plans for tonight.
Hommina-hommina-hommina! Uh, I mean, actually it turns out I am free for dinner tonight. What time can you pick me up?

 

by Jeanster
2-11-04
Maura returns to work that afternoon. She is excited about her date that evening with Tyler Jones.
Human Resources really should have done a better job screening potential interns. From what Tyler told me, Blondi should be locked up!
Maura, do you have a moment?
Uh, yes, Blondi?
You've been so nice to be. I think of you as my mentor. Would you like to go out for pizza with me tonight? It's my way of thanking you.
Thanks, Blondi. But tonight's not good for me. Perhaps another time.
Uh, okay. See ya, Maura.

 

by Jeanster
2-12-04
Tyler? You haven't returned my calls.
For the hundredth time, you psycho bitch, stop calling me.
You're seeing someone else, aren't you? It's not over between us until I say it's over!
You're insane, you know that? Stay the hell away from me!
I'll have you know that this is NOT over. You just wait and see.
And I'll have you know that if you show up anywhere near me, I won't be held responsible for my actions. Understand?

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