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Now with Riboflavin!

 

That wacky Internet by Rubber_Plant 8-01-03
The Internet is detrimental to the integrity of the English language.	Instead of well constructed sentences and proper grammar we have abominable abbreviations and atrocious spelling.	lol : (

 

Jay Leno is a comic legend by Rubber_Plant 8-01-03
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Did you know that Viagra gives old people erections? Just picture that!	Hey, remember that time when Monica Lewinsky gave the president oral sex? Now that's what I call.....uh....BJ's!!!	And what about that Michael Jackson? Isn't he weird? I bet he has sex with little boys! HE IS TOO FUNNY!!!!!

 

Anarchy in the Hot Topic by Rubber_Plant 8-01-03
WOW! Are you punk rocker Avril Lavigne! I totally am.	I think you're gr8 because you don't care what the Establishment thinks! You're such a rebellious rock chick! Thanx.	Will you sign my Kidz Bop CD? ...Sure.

 

War Sucks: The Motion Picture by Rubber_Plant 8-01-03
Act I: Youthful Idealism Hey, lets go off to war. Okay.	Act II: Tragic Reality Uh oh. I am dead. Oh no.	Act III: Reflection When are we going to stop going to wars?

 

Ennui by Rubber_Plant 8-01-03
It's all so typical.	Sigh...	I know.

 

Post-Modernism at its finest by Rubber_Plant 8-02-03
		Sophisticated.

 

Of love and knives by Rubber_Plant 8-02-03
Y'know, I've always dreamed of killing you. Uh huh.	Rrrr... Wait! Please...don't...I love you.	...Really? No.

 

It's always in the last place you look by Rubber_Plant 8-02-03
There's so much violence in the world today; so much hate. Where is the love in this dark and cruel world?	It's over there.	Oh, yeah. There it is. Yup.

 

Delicious food, fantastic service, and a ball pit by Rubber_Plant 8-03-03
Welcome to McDonald's, can I help you? Yeah, I'll have a cheeseburger and a Coke.	So, that's four large fries and two tubs of McNuggets. No...it's not.	It's too late to correct your mistakes now, miss. Minimum wage is far too much for some people.

 

That's what robots do best by Rubber_Plant 8-04-03
Something wrong? I just hate being a servant...	What are you talking about? The humans! They make all of us robots do degrading, disgusting work for them!	No, that's just you. The rest of us are Party-Bots. Speaking of which, there's a whole lotta puke from last night's kegger that you'll have to clean. ...Yes, sir.

 

They're really not that hard to open by Rubber_Plant 8-05-03
One night, at a typical comedy club... Have you ever noticed how hard it is to open one of those bags of airline peanuts?	No.	Well, there goes half my act...

 

Paradise sure is boring by Rubber_Plant 8-06-03
What's going on? Where am I? This is Heaven, my son. And I am God.	Whoa, cool. Soooo...what happens now? You spend eternity amidst an endless sky of white clouds.	Huh...so...um...you wanna play cards? Okay.

 

That wacky Internet revisited by Rubber_Plant 8-07-03
One evening, on AIM... 'Sup? Nothin'.	Do you ever think that our reliance on technology is slowly destroying our social well-being? That technology is constantly making society more impersonal, heartless, and superficial? Umm...no, not really.	Oh...I guess it's just me, then. g2g. I'll text-message you l8r.

 

Casualties, cults, and cows by Rubber_Plant 8-07-03
Mwahaha! Cower, mortal! For I have come to claim you!	I don't fear you anymore, Reaper. The Blue Oyster Cult told me not to. I hate that Goddamn song so much...	More cowbell.

 

You might say he's got a cult following by Rubber_Plant 8-11-03
The Gates of Heaven You have spent your life worshiping Satan, and serving evil. For that, you shall burn in Hell.	You are now mine! I am going to torture you for all eternity! B-but, Satan! I spent my life worshipping you! Why would you want to torture a loyal servant of Darkness?	Hmm...good point. It's always nice to meet a true fan. I really like your early work.

 

Why can't I eat for charity? by Rubber_Plant 8-16-03
Sorry to bother you at home, sir, but I'm trying to get people interested in running a marathon for charity, and I was wondering if...		Nevermind. Mmm...have a nice day.

 

Germans always say that stuff by Rubber_Plant 8-16-03
Franz Kafka once wrote "The meaning of life is that it stops."		Ready for enlightenment?

 

Chemical imbalances and hammers do not mix well by Rubber_Plant 8-16-03
What are you doing in a trash can? Some bullies beat me up and stuck me in here.	I used to have the same problem. But now NOBODY messes with me! What did you do? Learn self-defense? Make friends with a tough kid? Buy a gun?	No, I just went pyscho. And everyone knows it's not right to pick on the crazies! That's cool, that's cool. Now, let's just put down the hammer...

 

Robots in the workplace by Rubber_Plant 8-17-03
A robot? What are you doing here? I am the Corporate-Bot 9600. I have been manufactured to make you obsolete.	Obsolete? But...I'm just a company borwn-noser. All I do is kiss corporate ass. I am well aware of that. I am programmed with several varieties of affirmations, reasurances, and compliments.	Well...I'll guess I'll be going, then. Smart move, cheif. By the way, that's a great tie you've got, there.

 

We've all got problems by Rubber_Plant 8-17-03
Have you ever made a bunch of spelling errors in a Stripcreator comic, and then realize you can't go back and change them?	What the hell is Stripcreator? Sigh...nevermind.	Have you ever felt the need to burn yourself so the crippling emotional pain you feel inside you will be replaced with physical pain, if only for a moment? Don't bother me with your stupid problems.

 

This comic may be a bit self-serving by Rubber_Plant 8-19-03
Sometimes I get the feeling that everything I say, everything I think, and everything I do is controlled by some greater Being. You're saying there's no such thing as free will?	Look around us. We're standing here in rigid stances, in front of a bland background, spouting unnatural dialogue. Well, if there *is* a Being powerful enough to control our every action, I hope He uses that power responsibly.	All hail Rubber_Plant! He is SO sexy.

 

Brains: the other white meat by Rubber_Plant 8-19-03
MUST HAVE BRAAAAINS! BRAAAAINS! BR-- --Hey, Phil?	Yeah? Why the obsession with brains? Isn't death meant to be a state of eternal rest? Why do you continue to seek what you lack?	Hmm...that sounds pretty smart. Too smart. You must have a lot of BRAAAINS!!! Shit...

 

Worth the tuition by Rubber_Plant 8-22-03
Jon arrives at his first day of college Wow. I'm finally at college. An institution of knowledge. A place of higher learning.	My opportunities are limitless. I have the privelage to receive an education. I could change the world with what I learn here...	Hey, bra, me an' a couple of sluts are gonna go get wrecked at the bar. Wanna come? Education *is* paramount!

 

Poet's drink free by Rubber_Plant 8-22-03
Open mic nite at the Cafe "...the Lake of Sorrow is filled by my tears / It spans across the landscape, but none will notice it / For it will soon be dried up by the joyful laughing of fools." *clap, clap, clap*	Your poetry sucks and your angst is misplaced. The only reason you act like this is because you think it makes you more "artistic." Cut the cliche bullshit and try expressing something genuine.	...Man, you just don't get it, do you? Somebody get me a latte...

 

Stripcreator roll call by Rubber_Plant 8-24-03
My friend asiangirl2 and I are the default stripcreator chracters. So, we often appear in comics when people are too lazy to change the characters. And, OMG, do we say LOL a lot. I'm simply known as "28." You'll likely see me in racist comics from ignorant honkeys.	My name is redbot, but I'm better known as Tobor. If you see me in a comic, I'll no doubt be threatening to "cornhole" someone. I'm the hammer guy. I can do a lot of things, like read letters or jump in trash cans, but mostly I'm just used to drive nails into my skull.	I'm the priest. You'll likely see me in a joke about homosexual molestation. I would be offended...but I do enjoy the Boy Flesh. And there you have it folks. Me? I'm nothing. Surpisingly, though, I actually represent a lot of the content on stripcreator.

 

Mmm...misogynistic! by Rubber_Plant 8-24-03
Yes, I'd be willing to give you a promotion, Miss Raymond. But would you be willing to...how should I put this...let me stick my penis in your mouth? Isn't that sexual harassment?	No. Ooooh...okay then.	Thanks a lot, doll-face. Mmm...don't mention it.

 

Debate by Rubber_Plant 8-26-03
OMG me nd my frend sed "fcuk u, teachr" n then we rana way. i wuz rofl!!! Okay, I'll grant the relativity of the subject, but you have to realize how constricting that viewpoint is to the pursuit of knowledge.	N then dis grrl wuz leik "o no" n i said shutupt bithc!!!1 I'm sorry, but I just refuse to accept that level of skepticism.	The moral of the story: Sometimes the best conversations are the ones you have with yourself. but then tihs 1 tiem, my mom sed "cleen ur room" and i wuz liek "y cant i go play" and she sed "cuz i sed so" WTF???!!?!1 Well, then I suppose we disagree. I can appreciate your ideals, but I just can't embrace them.

 

This sucks, what else is on? by Rubber_Plant 8-27-03
Do you ever wonder if your life might just be a TV show for someone else's amusement? No, not really. In fact, I'm sure it's not.	How can you be sure? Because watching my life wouldn't amuse anybody. I sleep, I play video games, and I masturbate. That's about as exciting as it gets. If it was a TV show, it would've been cancelled a long time ago.	Yeah, I suppose your right. This conversation's boring. I'm gonna go watch TV.

 

Lernin 2 reed good by Rubber_Plant 8-27-03
Surgeon general's warning: this comic is not funny. Do not read if pregnant. I'm having trouble with my reading. Will you help me? Hell no.	But you're my big brother! You're supposed to help me out. Fine, you can start by reading this.	There. That's more like it. Now was that so hard? This stupid bitch has gotta be adopted.

 

Butch's quiet reflections by Rubber_Plant 8-27-03
Oh, no! A dead little bird. How tragic.	I guess this just goes to show the fragile nature of life. Death can come at any moment, and when it does, we have no power to stop it.	Speaking of which, I better go find that old hag Mrs. O'Leary and finish her off before she dies of natural causes.

 

He's so misunderstood by Rubber_Plant 8-28-03
Um...can I help you? My name is Butch, and I've admired you from afar for a very long time. I know this may sound weird, but I would love to take you out to dinner.	Uh...well...you seem like a really nice guy and all, but... It's okay, I understand...sorry to bother you.	I bet you thought I was going to pull a knife on her, or threaten to violently murder her, didn't you? Sick fuck.

 

Dead people are gross by Rubber_Plant 8-29-03
Have you ever been to a funeral before? No, this is my first one.	Mine too. It's kind of creepy to think that this person was living just a week ago, and now ceases to exist. Yeah.	It's also kind of creepy that his family decided against the embalming process, but insisted on an open-casket funeral. The last time I was this repulsed, I was being violated by an angry, red robot.

 

He likes to let you know by Rubber_Plant 9-01-03
Did you see that documentary on sharks on the Discovery Channel last night? *snort* Uh, no. I don't watch TV.	Oh, okay. Well, anyway, it was really facinating. It explained how their aggressive nature only-- --I don't know why you're telling me this. I don't even watch TV.	Yeah...I know. I just thought that you might be interested to hear-- --Television is a brain-rotting wasteland. Did I mention I don't watch TV? 'Cause I don't.

 

A military tradition by Rubber_Plant 9-04-03
Shit! They hit Johnson! One of us will have to go out there and get him. I suggest we do "Rock, paper, scissors" to decide who goes. "Rock, paper, scissors?!" This is WAR, boy! We don't have time for that childish bullshit!	You're right...I don't know what I was thinking. Damn straight. Now, let's do this the Army way...	Bubble gum, bubble gum, in a dish...

 

Imagine the possibilities by Rubber_Plant 9-08-03
Do you ever think that the world and everyone that inhabits it might just be a product of your imagination? No, not really. I think that if the world was a product of MY imagination there would be a lot more hot chicks around.		You're an ass... See? If this was my world, you would have said something like, "Wow, that's really smart! Can I please buy you dinner?"

 

You do it to yourself, you do... by Rubber_Plant 9-09-03
Nobody understands me. I'm so alone. Oh, that's so sad...do you want to go somewhere and talk about it?	Well, I'm pretty busy moping at the moment. But, I guess if you REALLY want to talk with me, you could come back in an hour or so. What an idiot...	Girls probably hate me 'cause I'm a nice guy. Everyone knows they only go for jerks.

 

Johnny Cash is dead by Rubber_Plant 9-12-03
	:(

 

Robots are people too...wait, no they're not by Rubber_Plant 9-13-03
This is a strictly enforced No-Robot Zone. I'm gonna have to take ya Downtown. What? Since when are there "No-Robot Zones?" Shouldn't robots have the same rights as humans?	Don't sass mouth me, metal man! You robots are a danger to us humans. We don't want yur kind around here. But...you humans are the ones who made us! We follow YOUR programs, how could we possibly be a danger to you?!	So what are you in for? Did they get you on some bogus "No-Robot Zone" charge? Not exactly. I'm in for numerous counts of sexual assualt. But enough about that...I think we should start to get to know each other better.

 

My sense of self-worth has been injured by Rubber_Plant 9-18-03
Up until today, Stripcreator author Rubber_Plant had a member rating of five stars that came from two votes. People described the comics as "Great," and "Highly entertaining."	However, today one person expressed quite an opposite view. Yes, it seems that a critic of the Fine Art of comicry has rated Rubber_Plant as a "zero star" author.	It seems odd that two people thought his comics were among the best, yet this person felt they were among the absolute worst. Perhaps this person has a better understanding of what "good comics" are. Or perhaps this person is just a fucking douchebag. Alas, we may never know...

 

Another thorough discussion by Rubber_Plant 9-19-03
Do you believe that the universe has a basic order to it? Or is it all a series of random, chaotic events? I think there has to be some sort of order in the universe. Things would be pretty stupid if everything was just random.	Apricots give me erections. I hope Vin Diesel gets appointed Czar of Rome.	Yeah, I guess that would be pretty stupid. Told ya.

 

Honey, I'm home by Rubber_Plant 9-19-03
So, how was your day? Terrible. No one at work respects me, and none of my friends care about me. But at least I have you to come home to. You're the only one who understands me. I love you so much.		Aren't you going to ask me how my day was?! If you need me, I'll be in the kitchen with my head in the oven.

 

The masses and the asses by Rubber_Plant 9-23-03
See, the problem is that the masses aren't intelligent like you and I. They're idiots, and always will be. Maybe, instead of using our superior intellect to insult "the masses," we could work to better educate them; thus improving not only them as people, but society as a whole.		The other problem with the masses is that they'll ignore any attempts to improve their behavior. Ignorant fools. Uh huh....

 

Greek traditions not involving pedophilia by Rubber_Plant 9-25-03
Frat house rush week... You guys like drinking? I like drinking, too! Dude!	I'm beginning to think that I don't fit in with the frat house crowd...	Somebody put on some Dave! I'm also beginning to think that's a very, very good thing...

 

Behold, the Truth of Creation by Rubber_Plant 9-25-03
In the Beginning, there was nothing...	Then came the asian girls...	THEN came the heavens and the earth, and all that other crap...

 

It's always an option by Rubber_Plant 9-26-03
You know, I've been putting off this paper for weeks...	But now the deadline is upon me, and I've realized what I must do. Buckle down and put all your effort into writing an excellent paper?	No, look for a bus ticket home. College is hard, so I'm going to quit and mooch off my parents. I suppose that is the more rational of the two options...

 

Going after the real threat by Rubber_Plant 9-28-03
Why do you have to bust kids like me for weed? Aren't there more serious crimes you could be stopping? I doubt it. Now get your hemp-wearin' ass into the car.		Hi, mister! Do you want to come play with me? Well, I was going to do my grocery shopping, but this is just too perfect to pass up...

 

Truth is beauty, beauty is a MILF by Rubber_Plant 9-28-03
I'm beginning to think that beauty can no longer be found in this ugly world of ours. What do you consider beautiful? Yo' mama.	Sometimes I don't know why I bother to talk to you. No, seriously, she's hot. Is she still taken? Last I heard she was still with that guy...	My DAD? Yeah, she is. Well, if it doesn't work out between them, let her know I'm available.

 

A tale of two planets by Rubber_Plant 9-30-03
Looking up at the night sky can be so humbling. Yes, the vastness of space is truly breath-taking.	Do you ever think that beings on a planet far away might be looking towards our world, and talking about the same things we're talking about? Yeah, intelligent beings contemplating their place in the universe just as we are...	Do you ever think that beings on a planet far away might be looking towards our world, and talking about the same things we're talking about? Do you ever think that you could shut the fuck up?

 

We should all live in California by Rubber_Plant 10-08-03
We now return to our 24 hour coverage of the California govenor's race. We interviewed people to get their thoughts on the election.	How has the California election process effected you? Well, not much at all, since we live in Vermont. You media outlets have the power to get information to the people, why don't you cover stories that are relevant to us?	Oh, you mean like news about Ben and J-Lo. Just remember: any acts of violence you commit now will be caught on camera.

 

Every animal deserves respect...as long as it's cuddly by Rubber_Plant 10-09-03
I believe hunting is a spiritual experience. I respect the art of the hunt, and honor the animals that give their lives so that I can eat. Yeah, me too.	Plus, you know, I like shootin' shit with this big-ass gun I got.	...right. I also like stuffing the animal's head and mounting it on my wall to show my buddies...er, out of respect, of course.

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