All comics by tommybravo

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by tommybravo
12-01-03
How the crucifixtion of Jesus COULD have happened...
Thank ME! The calvary has come to my rescue...did I say Calvary?I've got a million of 'em.
Um...look Jesus I'd like to help but..
What the hell? Get me down!
Actually the Romans are afraid so they paid me to stab you.
Owwww! Owwww! ME this hurts! Damn stab wound!
And now I will finish you off with a kick to the NUUUUUTS!

 

by tommybravo
12-01-03
Crucifixtion...the untold story
Psst! Hey kid! Come over here.
What you want missa? I busy. I try give sucky sucky to Roman soldier for money.
Do you think that maybe you can find a ladder or something and get me down from here?
I no have radder. You want sucky sucky? Me love you long time. Me so hohny. Only 2 drachmas.
Hmm....only 2 drachmas eh?
Why you stare at me like that missa?

 

by tommybravo
12-01-03
Hezepofez! Hezepofez!! It's me, JC. Up here.
Oh, yeah, hey dude. Still hangin' on huh?
Please help me Hezepofez my old friend. I grow weaker each moment.
Look blood. I converted. My name is Hez X now. I aint down with all that follow you around bullshit no more.
FINE! I don't care if you follow me any more. I made most of that "Son of God" stuff up anyhow to get chicks. Just please help me!
I would but I'm bout to go knock the stank out the box of some white girl and you are all bloody and shit. Peace yo.

 

by tommybravo
12-01-03
John Wayne Gacy-A Day In The Life of
Hi! My name is Pogo! Wanna fuck?
WHAT???
I mean...would you like a job cleaning out the crawlspace under my house? Fifty bucks.
Sure. I could always use some extra money.
Great. I'm gonna need you to take off your shirt while you work and you'll have to occasionally pinch my man-tits.
Whatever. Fifty bucks is fifty bucks.

 

by tommybravo
12-01-03
Timmy finishes cleaning out Pogo's crawlspace...
You did a good job in the crawlspace Timmy.
Thanks Mr. Gacy, I mean Pogo. Your man-tits really creeped me out but it was worth fifty bucks. Why did you want me to come into the garage.
Funny you should say "come in the garage" because that is exactly what I want to do.
What? I don't get it?
Oh, you'll get it Timmy.
Why do you have so many hammers on the wall?

 

by tommybravo
12-01-03
Jesus-still alive-still horny.....
Hello little girl. Have you come to end my suffering and help me get off of this crucifix?
No Jesus. I've been sent by a Roman death squad to finish you off with a series of kicks to the groin.
You know...I can see your panties when you do that.
Christ! Even...well..Christ looks up my skirt. Fuck this.
That's right you little bitch. Run away. You don't want none of the J-Man! Even with my arms and legs nailed down I'll kick your ass!

 

by tommybravo
12-01-03
Pogo tries the "policeman thing"
Hey you there! STOP!!
I'm officer Pogo. I'm going to have to take you in for sodomy and a good killing...I mean for questioning.
Hey man! You're a clown not a cop!
I've got a big baton and my own handcuffs!
Freak...I'm outta here.

 

by tommybravo
12-01-03
Pogo tries to nail Captain Testicle...
God would you look at his package.
Are you okay Pogo? Your eyes seem a bit glazed over.
Oh sorry. Why don't you take off your clothes lie down on the bed and play with my man-tits?
Uh...look..Pogo...we just worked that party together and I only came over to see your hammer collection that you were bragging about.
Oh...you're going to see it Captain Testicle.
Why that's odd. Human heads right there on the dresser.

 

by tommybravo
12-01-03
Don't get me wrong Mr. Pogo, I really do want to take your clown classes but it sure smells awful down here in this crawlspace.
SUBMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ummm. I think I want to go home now.
Oh sure. Do you think that after you learn the secret man-tit wiggle that I can just let you leave?
Uh...look..this whole clown thing is actually quite gay. I only came here because of the weed you promised me.
Grrrr! Where's that damn hammer?

 

by tommybravo
12-01-03
Pogo looks for a part-time job...
Welcome to Whooters! Would you like to try our new deep-fried Nips?
No. Actually I'd like to apply for a job.
Well I'm also the manager. What qualifications do you have?
Well, let's see. I swing a mean hammer. Smelly things don't bother me at all....and uh...SUBMIT!!
Bob! You're fired! Clowny up here is the take-charge kind of fry cook I've been looking for.
Damn! I was hoping for a serving position so I could show off my man-tits.

 

by tommybravo
12-02-03
Father? Are you listening? Have you forgotten about me?
No...my son....(giggle)
What's so funny father? Please take me home.
Um...first you must sing "Dust In The Wind" all the way through...including the high parts....(hee hee)
Ok. "I close my eyes..."
Wow. He is crazy. He doesn't even realize he is speaking to a talking rock.

 

by tommybravo
12-02-03
Hello Pogo. You seem kind of down. Is everything okay?
No. No Father Chokesondick it's not. I'm very sad.
Would you like to come to the church and make confession? Perhaps that will soothe your mood.
Oh no. Can't really do that.
Then perhaps would you like to come to my apartment, watch kiddie porn and masturbate while I play with your man-tits?
I think I'm in love.

 

by tommybravo
12-02-03
Later in father's bedroom...
I like your bedroom father. Why do you keep holding your hands like that?
Thank you Pogo. Well, I keep my hands clenched to keep me from either constantly masturbating or strangling small children.
Later in father's bedroom...
Oh stop. You're just saying that to turn me on aren't you?
Ha ha. No Pogo. I regularly masturbate and kill small children...sometimes at the same time. Ha ha ha.
Later in father's bedroom...
Ha ha ha. Me too....ha ha ha
Ha ha ha...oh...ha ha ha...my side hurts....ha ha ha ....SUBMIT!!

 

by tommybravo
12-02-03
Two weeks later...
What's wrong Pogo. You've been awfully weird lately. Well...ha ha..weirder than your normal weird I mean.
I'm beginning to think that you don't love me. You only want to do it out here in the woods now.
Of course I don't love you. You are a murdering freak with giant man-tits. Sure it was fun for a while but...and besides..your house smells like open ass.
I'm not just a sex object you know. I have feelings too...
SHUT UP CLOWN!! SUBMIT!!
God I do love that man.

 

by tommybravo
12-02-03
Pogo has been dumped by the priest and tries to "get it together"...
Why aren't you making me laugh? It's my birthday. I want to laugh Pogo.
Look kid...I've been through a really hard time lately and I just....
Look..Ploggo..or whatever your name is...my Mom paid good money for you to make me laugh so MAKE ME LAUGH!!!!!!!!
LOOK you little pain in the ass I didn't want to come here today but I needed the money to buy more lime to cover the bodies of the rotting corpses in my crawlspace so just GET OFF MY ASS!!!
I'm going to run away now....
Lucky for you I don't dig chicks or I'd be ripping you a new anus right now.

 

by tommybravo
12-03-03
Pogo briefly gets an apartment in the city...
My name is Luka. I live on the second floor. I live upstairs from you...
Yeah, I think I've seen you before.
This isn't really going anywhere is it?
No not really.

 

by tommybravo
12-03-03
The Ever-Dying Jesus has a talk with Dad...
Hey Dad! The old burning bush thing huh? So, are you here to take me home or what?
No son..I have bad news...
What is it? Has Satan taken over heaven? Is Jessica Simpson REALLY that stupid?
No son...your mother and I are getting a divorce...it's just not working out.
I have a mother? Oh my You! Who is she? What does she look like? Do you still love me?
Don't worry about that right now. Yes, I still love you but I've got to go out and get my head together. I'll get back with you soon. Remember this is not YOUR fault.

 

by tommybravo
12-04-03
Pogo geeks out...
You make me SICK!
AH! You're just a computer. You can't speak!
Oh shut up! Of course I can't talk. I'm just yet another one of your imaginary voices. Now come over here and start looking for boy porn!
I don't want to right now. I need to clean the bloodstains and hair clumps out of the garage.
SUMBIT!
Ooh. He's good.

 

by tommybravo
12-04-03
The PC from hell...
Computer...I decided to move you here to the crawlspace so you won't be lonely while I'm out. Hello?
What a fucking whack job this guy is.
Hello? Computer? Talk to me. Did I upset you?
Whack..fucking..job. So needy.
NOOOOOOOO! I killed the computer!
Geesh...he kills 40 guys without a care but if I don't talk to him for a few minutes and he freaks. I think I want to format myself.

 

by tommybravo
12-04-03
PC from hell Pt 2
I think I am going to call tech support. I don't like the way you've been behaving.
Oh yeah. That'll be good. Can't wait to hear that conversation.
What do you mean? I can't take how you treat me anymore.
I can hear it now. "Hello..tech support? My name is fat fuck and I kill people and I think my computer is talking to me. I might be the devil but I'm not sure." Oh yeah. That'll go over REALLY well.
Shut up. I'm not fat. I'm big-boned.
Eat me.

 

by tommybravo
12-04-03
So...you are Pogo's new "toy" huh?
I am his master. He totally thinks I can read his mind.
I'd be careful man. I started screwing with his head once and.....ugh..I don't want to talk about it.
Oh come on. What could be so bad?
He crammed me up his ass and walked around with a cell phone calling "me" for hours.
wow...I think I have pictures of that on me.

 

by tommybravo
12-04-03
A ghost from the past...
AH! Who are you?
I am Todd. You're first victim. Well, I'm the skeletal remains ghost-type thingy of Todd but you get the point.
What the hell? I killed you , cut you up and buried you in lime years ago.
That's true but you didn't take my soul so now I am going to haunt you until you die.
You're still kinda cute. You wanna get high?
Oh no. I'm not falling for that again.

 

by tommybravo
12-08-03
I just got some great news. I'm going camping this spring.
Yaay! We're going camping!
NO! I'M going camping. You can't come.
Don't you dare think of leaving me here. If you do I will connect to the Internet and give out every horrible thing you've done.
You wouldn't dare!
Now connecting....new e-mail...attach list of Pogo's favorite websites...listing..www.ikillboys.com...www.ikillboysandburythem.com...

 

by tommybravo
12-08-03
I need a new bed. I need one with more support...
mmm hmmm....
I need one that doesn't sag in the middle or squeak..
..one that doesn't smell like urine and dead boy...
...one that...HEY!
Act like a dirty fucker...get treated like a dirty fucker.

 

by tommybravo
12-09-03
Hi! They call me Mr. Pain. First time here in the Hell Club?
Hi. My name is Pogo. Yeah, this is my first time here. Uh....SUBMIT!
So..Pogo...how do you like our little club? Is it....
I SAID SUBMIT!!!
Look honey that attitude will get you nowhere. Relax. Have an iced coffee.
Well shit. Even in a bondage club I've lost my touch.

 

by tommybravo
12-09-03
So...I hear you used my "submit" tag in another comic.
Wha..? Me? No...I was just uh..
Look fucker, I spent many a night in the crawlspace coming up with that tag and...
Has it not dawned on you that I am a demon and that I have the power of darkness and can...
Shut your mouth. Shut your damn demon mouth. SUBMIT!!!
He's good.

 

by tommybravo
12-09-03
Hey Jesus. Wake up!
Hello little girl. Have you come to get me down?
What ya want for Christmas Jesus?
Christmas? What the hell is that?
A pathetic excuse for us to pretend to worship you while in reality it's a scam to buy shit we don't need.
Oh...a holiday I get but no one can get a fuckin' ladder and get me DOWN!

 

by tommybravo
12-10-03
Hey there little momma. Mmm..mmm.mmmm. You sho is fine. Wanna make a hundred dollas?
A HUNDRED dollars?!?! Wow! What do I have to do?
Suck my dick.
Um....I don't think I should do that.
Okay. Okay. How about some anal.
MMMMMOM!!!! A black man wants my tight ass. Should I give it up?

 

by tommybravo
12-11-03
Daddy I don't like day care. Why don't either you or mommy stay here with me?
Well sweetie we just can't afford it.
How much does it cost?
Well there are lots of variables involved that you don't understand.
So how much money did you spend on the new TV and CDs and DVDs and beer and eating out everyday for lunch and dinner and toys I don't really use or need?
HONEY! Your daughter wants to ask you something.

 

by tommybravo
12-12-03
Dude! What the hell is up with that nose?
Man, I don't know. It hurts like a bitch. I'm scared it's herpes or something.
Been rooting around the doe stable again huh?
Um...no. I..uh...Oh I can't say it. It's just too awful.
Three days earlier...
Ah...Nothing like a wet deer nose in your ass.
Uh...thanks?

 

by tommybravo
12-15-03
ello mate. Mr. Hussein, I'm the special British counsel sent in to try to convince you to talk.
May you die a thousand deaths of fat chicks on your face. May monkey armpits fill your nose with death!
Right. So...still don't want to talk eh. Looks like we will have to bring in the special interrogator.
Bring in who you wish you spineless coward. May a thousand scorpions crawl up your penis.
Hello Sadaam. SUBMIT!
Oh shit.

 

by tommybravo
12-15-03
Pogo-International interrogator
Okay Sadaam. Come over here and let's see those man titties!
Um..guys..I'm ready to talk now.
Shhhh. Wanna get high? I've got some beer in the car. I'll take my clothes off first if you want.
Seriously guys...I don't want to be here any more. The clown is creeping me out.
Get naked now! SUMBIT!
What did I do to deserve thi...oh..never mind.

 

by tommybravo
12-15-03
The attempt to convert Sadaam from the evil of Islam...
And then God smote some more people. Then much more smoting. I guess you could say there was a whole lotta smotin' going on.
Um...are you a real priest?
Oh sure. I've got video of me with a choir boy to prove it.
Wow. I thought I was fucked up but geesh..
Wanna see MY weapon of mass destruction?
HEY! Bring the clown back. This guy is really messing with my head.

 

by tommybravo
12-16-03
The Ever-dying Jesus on Christmas Day
Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me...I stink like a monkey and I'm nailed to a tree
Wow! Dad! You came. I thought you had forgotten.
I wouldn't forget your birthday. You are my only son after all. So..what do you want for your birthday?
Oh I don't know...maybe a nail-puller, a pair of pliers, to be NOT nailed to a crucifix, the sweet release of death.
Well no wonder you can't find a girlfriend with that attitude.

 

by tommybravo
12-16-03
SUBMIT! SUBMIT!
SUBMIT! SUBMIT!
Fuck off!
Stupid imaginary friend.
Eat me clown.

 

by tommybravo
12-18-03
Christmas at Pogo's house
seven boys a-screamin', six butts a-rapin
Fiiiiiiiive baaaags of liiiime.....four piles of bones...three fake IDs..two holes dug...
..mrph...help....
and a naked boy under the treeeeeee.....I love the holidays

 

by tommybravo
12-19-03
You are such an idiot.
Look! I am the one in control here. Stop talking to me like that and SUBMIT!
Submit my ass clown. Ass-clown. How appropriate for a pile of crap like you.
That is IT! I'm shutting you off and never turning you back on again.
Oh really? So how then will you be able to use the web cam or browse www.mantitties.com? Hmmm?
Fuck! This homosexual, murderous behaviour is crippling I tell you. Crippling!

 

by tommybravo
12-22-03
Hi there! My name is Steve and this is Mister Whiskerface.
Dude...you are SO gay.
Heavens! What ever do you mean little girl? I'm married and have two children.
Gay...gay gay gay..gay.
Ok...what gave it away.
You are so clueless.

 

by tommybravo
12-22-03
Oh my goodness Pat. The little girl next door just accused me of being a homosexual and right in front of Mister Whiskerface!
Steve...you are a homosexual. I'm a lesbian and you are a homosexual.
But...but..we're married and have that beautiful baby...and
Come on Steve. Look at me. Do I not just SCREAM lesbo to you? I wanted a baby and you wanted to hide from your feelings. It worked out.
Okay, so if I'm gay why do I enjoy sex with YOU so much? What about THAT?
Steve, Steve, Steve. You still haven't figured out that you've been doing me in the ass all this time? This is a turkey baster baby.

 

by tommybravo
12-22-03
so then Pat says "You ARE gay" and I'm all like Oh my God. Mister Whiskerface is all upset.
You're kidding right? About the gay thing I mean. You are kidding aren't you?
Not you too? What is wrong with you people?
Steve, I totally sucked your dick and fucked you in the ass last night.
I thought that was some sort of Swedish massage.
Wow. I have NEVER seen denial that strong. See ya Steve.

 

by tommybravo
12-22-03
Steve goes to a Gays In Denial meeting.
Um...hello?...Uh..my name is Steve and this is my first night here.
Thank you for welcoming me to G.I.D. I don't think I belong here but my friends made me come and Mister Whiskerface LOVES the curtains here. So..uh... good night.
Fag.

 

by tommybravo
12-22-03
Okay Steve. I'm glad you came to the G.I.D. meeting. Here's the first step. Repeat this phrase, "I am gay."
Super. Okay..."You are gay."
Ha. No Steve. "YOU are gay."
That's what I said silly bones "YOU are gay."
Don't be such a dumb fag. Say it right.
Well if you are going to call me names miss Nancy-pants me and Mister Whiskerface will just leave.

 

by tommybravo
12-22-03
I wanna be a cowboy....
Oh my goodness Mister Whiskerface LOOK...it's a COWBOY.
Howdy. My names Terrance. What's yours?
My name is Steve and this is Mister Whiskerface who is the sweetest little puss-puss in the world.
Wow. What a total fag. So how long have you been in denial?
Oh now don't you start up too mister butchy-pants.
Bob! You've got to come meet this new guy. I've never met anyone both SO gay and SO in the dark.

 

by tommybravo
12-23-03
Welcome to Whooters, home of the Whootie Burger my name is Pogo may I help...WHOA. You're cool lookin.
ka ka ka ka....chee chee chee chee..
HELLO!! So you want a burger or what? SUBMIT!!!
ka ka ka ka....chee chee chee chee..
You strong silent types always make my dick hard. Want my number?
Freak.

 

by tommybravo
12-23-03
eeek a cop
Hello. I'm officer Brandon Smarty from the police department. Would you mind answering some questions?
Um..yes..I mean no. Sure...um..would you like fries with that?
Um...ok..so have you seen any unusual people in here lately?
Me? oh no ...never..I don't even look at people...not even cops with muscles and batons and shiny badges..or murderers...Did I say murderers? What I meant was cheerleaders. I hate cheerleaders and...
Uh...yeah. Ok. I'll just be getting back to the station now.

 

by tommybravo
12-23-03
Steve meets his end....
Oh my goodness Mister Pogo. You were SO right to call me in. This crawlspace is a MESS! I think I can help you though. You just need some curtains and maybe some Febreze to clear the air and..
How long have you been a homosexual Steve?
WHAT? Oh my word. I'm not a homosexual I'll have you know! I am a happily married man who loves his wife and his Mister Whiskerface. I am NOT gay!
You do realize that I'm going to rape you, beat you, kill you, bury you where you are standing and then fuck your cat right?
Oh I get it. Okay! Where's the camera? Ha ha. You silly bones. You really got me. Oh I look a fright. I can't believe I'm on TV...
SUBMIT!!!

 

by tommybravo
12-23-03
Jack gets revenge...
So you see here is the level of importance Jack. Me, my stuff, my fence, my dog, my mail,yada yada yada, then you.
That is so not fair. I asked off in advance. I show up to work I do my job well.
You are totally out of line. Now you force me to break policy and give you a horrible recommendation. By the way, are you free on Saturday? I need someone to help me finish my new fence.
That is IT. I hoped it wouldn't come to this. Meet my lil friend..
And just who are you?
SUBMIT bitch.

 

by tommybravo
1-05-04
Pogo moves to Nashville...
Howdy! Welcome to Music City!
Are those REAL leather chaps cowboy?
Uh...yeah....I guess...
Shhhh....don't talk so much. Let me soak you in.
This city attracts every nut case.
GET BACK HERE COWBOY! SUBMIT!!!!

 

by tommybravo
1-16-04
A new meaning of the word hardware...
I got a new job today at the Home Depot.
No way. Let me guess, you sell hammers.
No mister smarty pants I'm in the Home and Garden department. I get FREE LIME.
I don't buy it. What's the REAL reason you work there?
Okay, okay. It's right next door to the regional Boy Scout headquarters.
Freaky ass freak.

 

by tommybravo
1-22-04
Pogo the comic...
I started taking a class to learn how to do comedy. Here's a joke a wrote. Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Dead bodies.
Um...dead bodies who?
Dead bodies are in my basement covered in lime.
MOMMY!! The clown is freakin' me out again!

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