All comics by pslock

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by pslock
10-03-04
I am writing a short story called "Why I hate the person I share my panel with."
Well, I'm working on a novel called "Why the person in my panel is a dicksucking hosebag."
.....
So touchy....

 

by pslock
10-04-04
I am deeply concerned about your situation.
*filling with major concern*
I can't handle all this emotional baggage.
You suck....

 

by pslock
10-05-04
Why am I always the first person to speak in these comics?
...
Because I'm extremely shy.
And I hate you.

 

by pslock
10-05-04
Union Carbide explodes!!!!!
Ewww...gross!!
Dead foreigners!

 

by pslock
10-06-04
LOL THIS IS LIKE SOOO FUNNY CUZ IT'S POLITICALLY TRUE!!
*SO IMAGINING A HUGE COCK MODERATING THE DEBATES*
PUSHING EVERYONE ELSE'S COMICS OFF THE FRONT PAGE WITH THIS SHIT IS EVEN FUNNIER!!
LOLZ

 

by pslock
10-07-04
Why do we use the internet?
Because it allows us to make up for our vastly unsatisfactory homelives by being anonymous dicks.
.....no, that's not it.
Not for you maybe...

 

by pslock
10-08-04
Attention people of Earth, as the Prime Leader of the Zaftolborz Invasion Fleet, it is my duty to prepare you for the realities of life as our servants.
We have had enough of monitoring your broadcasts only to see your world leaders becoming more and more pathetic and without intelligence. We must step in, cuz there's some fucked up shit going on.
To ease you into servitude, a One World human leader will be instituted to put forth the Zaftolborz commands. William Hung, please step forward....

 

by pslock
10-08-04
SHE BANG! SHE BANG!!!
Yes, Earthlings. This puppet ruler will put into action our complex plans to transform Earth into our new interstellar base.
SHE BANG! SHE BANG!!!
You will comply with his mandates or be severely... *Mr. Hung please shut up. You're interrupting me.* ...severely..
SHE BANG! SHE BANG!!!
*sigh* And you Earthlings thought THIS shit was funny?

 

by pslock
10-08-04
SHE BANG! SHE BANG!!!
....
*BRRZZZZT!*
Screw it. We're just going to let one of our upper-level management trainees take control of your puny world! I can feel the fear within you rising! As it should.

 

by pslock
10-09-04
Right puny human, I am Zaftolborz Commandant LR88D, and I am put in charge of, shall we say, "modifying" this sector. First task, you must plant these lovely Fleeglesnork trees throughout the sector.
That stuff twern't grow here...
FOOL!! We already KNOW what will and will not grow on your disgusting MAN-SOIL! Plant away!
I dunno if'n the folks are gonna take too kindly to this...
CURSES!! Stop questioning my orders! Perhaps on Earth these "trailer parks" are regarded as the ultimate refinement of sophistication, but we care NOT! ALL WILL SERVE US!!
Hey, Bobby-Jo, the cop wants us to do something with trees. Were you out streewalkin' agin last night??

 

by pslock
10-09-04
How goes the invasion, TF251B?? Have the humans accepted their destiny as yet another page in our intergalactic history of conquest?
Well....sort of, High Commander. There is some resistance. They...throw things at us.
HA! As if that could possibly stop our superior power. Tell me, what are they "throwing" at us?
...
Poo.

 

by pslock
10-10-04
I hate you.
I also hate you equally.
Well, then I hate you even more than that.
Then...I will have to smother you in your sleep.
ENOUGH OF THIS PATHETIC ATTEMPT AT SO-CALLED MINIMALIST HUMOR!!! WE NOW HAVE DETERMINED WHAT SHAPE HUMOR WILL TAKE!!
Zounds!

 

by pslock
10-10-04
In accordance with our great leaders plans for your puny world, we are suspending all your "electoral" processes. Ex-Leader Bush and Ex-Leader Kerry will no longer be amusing you with their "debates"
Instead, they will be placed into one of our Zaftolborz (tm) brand arenas of pure death where they will fight each other for our amusement.
Wait.....what?
Yes, Ex-Leader Bush, I am altering our deal. Pray I do not alter it any further.

 

by pslock
10-10-04
OK people, tonight at this first official meeting of the People's Freedom Front of Earth we need to discuss our initial strategy for fighting the Zaftolborz.
Any ideas?
YEAH!!! FUCK 'EM!! LET'S KILL 'EM ALL!!! WOOOO!
Well, see...the thing is we can't get through their TECHNOLOGY dipshit! And, I dunno about you, but I ain't spending any more time in a forced-Jazzercize prison camp again.
...nooo....not...the Jazzercise...the horror *whimper*

 

by pslock
10-10-04
Ok...we figured out if you play "Hey Jude" backwards really loud, it counteracts the Zaftolborz shields and weakens their minds! We can use this to take back Sector 8?
Alright....sounds like a plan...we've got the weapons ready.
*"...RETTEB TI EKAM DNA GNOS DAS A EKAT.."*
Wha..? Huh? Arrgghh! NOOOO!!!! Power....fading....fast...urgh.
YEAH!! Take that alien space scum!!! You can't mess with American pride!!!
..but...it's....a...british...song ..sung..by..a...british group!....*koff* curses!

 

by pslock
10-13-04
I had a dream last night that I was able to seduce anyone.
Except me.
Yes. You were distant as always...refusing my advances and widthdrawing from my touch.
You're gross.

 

by pslock
10-17-04
Damn! The humans are exploiting our weaknesses and driving us from the planet!! Is there any hope for a continued take over?
No, sir...the Earthlings now have complete control over all of our priority sectors. It is only a matter of time.
Shit!! I mean, I've seen 'V' just like everyone else, but I never really THOUGHT that...
..yes, I know sir...and they didn't even have Marc Singer to help them this time.
I shall issue the order for a complete retreat from Earth. Let the stinky humans keep their planet. But be sure to leave Operation Blue Collar Comedy Tour in effect..
My god, sir, you're cruel to these meaty, carbon-based, weaklings.

 

by pslock
10-17-04
Attention everyone!!! WE DEFEATED THE ALIEN INVADERS!!!! Earth is ours again!
HOORAY!
Never again shall we let these galactic bastards into our midst again!! We must be vigilant and ever-aware!!
WE AGREE!!
Wull, hey there!! Women shore is dumb n stuff!! GIT R DUN!!!
Oh, goodness!! It is the humor time!!! LOL!!

 

by pslock
10-21-04
I support stem-cell research.
What a remarkably brave and bold position to take in todays high-heat political climate.
I know.
Of course....it's the *wrong* position, but....

 

by pslock
10-23-04
I'm not voting this year. Voting does absolutely no good in today's corrupt, horribly one-sided system.
But you must...as a free citizen you must!
Why..so my voice can be ignored? So oppression can continue with my blessing?
But McDonald's really needs to know which new flavor of shake to add to their menu!!

 

by pslock
10-23-04
Say, why don't you sit on my **** and ***** inside your **** till you ******** and die, you ****.
Cat got your tongue, you piece of ****** **** with *** blue ****** sacks of *****?
Why are you talking like that?
...Cuz.

 

by pslock
10-26-04
When I started using Stripcreator, I originally was going to tell an epic, Norse saga of adventure and intrigue in a serial format.
I had also hoped to include commentary from scholars on Norse Mythology.
...Then things got all funny.

 

by pslock
10-27-04
WOOHOO! Doggie Heaven! Now I've got it made! Now I can really...umm...er..what are you doing here?
Yeah, I know...I'm a penguin. Don't let it bug ya, kid. Penguin Heaven is just too damn full. We had to start expanding out a little.
Hmm..well, I guess it's cool. Um...so where's the other dogs? All I see are penguins.
Well..see, it's like this...we had to kind of make our own area up here...but seriously, you're in Doggie Heaven.
Uh huh....
What?? You are!!

 

by pslock
10-27-04
Later on....
See, kid? Told ya I'd show you the right place! Here we go...Doggie Heaven proper!! Look, uh, I gotta get back to the flock...it's my turn to sit on the egg and all...
Wow...finally!!
Now I can meet all my dog heroes like Lassie and Benj....uh...hello?
What can I do for you?
Oh geez...not again, fer chrissakes...
HA!! Fooled you!! It's just our weekly costume party!!

 

by pslock
10-28-04
I guess this place isn't so bad. I miss my master, though.
I know how you feel. But don't let it get you down. I'll show you a cool trick! Here, just clap your paws together and...
*POOF!!*
Wha?? Hey!! Thash pretty coorhh.
Yep. And there's no limit on 'em either. Dunno where they come from, but that's part of the mystery of the afterlife I guess.
Umm....excuse me....
Are you shhhure theresh not a rrimit?

 

by pslock
10-31-04
Boo.
Hehe..
*phew*

 

by pslock
11-02-04
I'm tired of watching election results. Quick, flip it over to Queer Eye before it ends...
What?
I mean....uh...election results are fine. How about those Red Sox?

 

by pslock
11-04-04
Umm..honey? I have to confess...I've been having 2 affairs on the side. One's a woman, the other's a guy. And I routinely have sex with them....a lot. TONS. In fact, I'm going out tonight again.
So, I'm not actually working a second job. Also, I've been telling your friends that you've changed and now you think they're all assholes and that you're much better than they are.
I've been taking money from your purse and using to pay for drugs. Oh..your dog wasn't hit by a car..I actually killed him on purpose and sold the meat on the Asian black dogmeat market.
I've written pulp-pornography about you, using your specific name and identity and set up a secret webcam in your room that watches you while you sleep and I charge for it on the internet.
Also, I think I've given you at least 3 STDs, all of which I caught from street whores that I paid for with your money.
Oh, that's OK dearest!!! C'mere and let me give you a great big hug and a blowjob!!!! You deserve it!! Also, I'm retarded now!!! Is Milk-Jell-O Casserole for dinner OK?

 

by pslock
11-05-04
I got up, got online, and when I checked Stripcreator, there were no CHUBBY comics on the front page. Wow...
*clicks reload*
Oh....nevermind.

 

by pslock
11-08-04
Sorry sir, we don't have anymore copies of Fahrenhype 911 for sale or rent.
WHAT?? This is some damn liberal conspiracy!! This just shows you where America is going!! This is an outrage..Michael Moore is fat and stupid!!! GRRR!!!
Yeah, that's right sir, this store is so amazingly liberal. That's why our Christian section has now overrtaken art, and why every 2nd display in books is for the sale on the Left Behind series.
On sale?

 

by pslock
11-08-04
When I grow up, I want to be an astronaut.
Why?
So that I can have anti-gravity sex.

 

by pslock
11-13-04
.... Will you stop sulking!
I wish you'd admit you're just plain wrong for once..
Alright.ALRIGHT!! Yes, Dick Sargeant made a much better Darren...are you HAPPY NOW??

 

by pslock
11-13-04
The cashier gives me a strange look, filled with unanswered questions and stifled thoughts. His face tells me of his labyrinthine emotional state and how it pains him.
As much as I puzzle to translate his anguish, I cannot. I can only stare back with a feeling of isolation and lonliness that I intend to somehow exorcise from my very being!
Through this veil of morbid silence, he speaks, as if to mock my own darkness!
So, that's 2 bottles of "EZ GLYDE" and a copy of "AMATEUR CIRCUS GIRLS GONE WILD." That'll be $42.37, sir..

 

by pslock
11-14-04
ALRIGHT KIDS, CLIMB ON BOARD FOR THE TRIP.
AND BY CLIMB ON BOARD I MEAN TAKE OFF MY PANTS.
TOM HANKS IS KILLING MY BONER.

 

by pslock
11-16-04
I say, did you hear about Sally? I caught her the other day trying to steal eggs from a mammal nest!
Oh I heard...how utterly Triassic of her to do so. Besides, mammal eggs are so out now.
Yes..those mammals are quite the foolish ones. They have become rather uppity lately, haven't they? I mean, really.
Just the other day I *attempted* to talk to one, but I don't think he understood a word I said, the poor dolt.
The other day.
Look, man, simply give it up. Your species could never best ours. Ha..I mean, unless some incredibly fortuitous cataclysm came our way and suddenly wiped us off the planet!! Preposterous!! HA!
Eek.

 

by pslock
11-16-04
I heard the RU-486 pill will be on the market soon and openly available to all.
So?
It means that the world is one step closer to my dream.
That society accepts freedom of sexual rights and a respect for the modern necessity of contraception in an age of overpopulation?
No. That I can freely impregnante Catholic schoolgirls without fear of eventual consequences.
Oh, *that* dream.

 

by pslock
11-20-04
On that day when the apocalypse comes, the minions of the Dark Lord rise from their underworld prisons and the Reaper himself stalks the Earth at the behest of ancient Gods of pure Blackness...
...-I- will be the one to stand alone. I will be the one to confront the coming judgement of hellfire and be the one to utter the words:
"Fuck off, I'm playing GTA: San Andreas."

 

by pslock
11-24-04
I WILL BE A SUPERHERO IF JUST TO ONLY WEAR THE TIGHTS.
....
WHO'S HOTTER, FROZONE OR MR. INCREDIBLE?? HUGALAHHUGALAHUG

 

by pslock
11-25-04
How can I help you?
Baaa-aaa!
Baaaaa!
*drool*
Ba-aaa-aaaaaaa...
BaaaA?

 

by pslock
11-25-04
My lowercaste houseboys..er..I mean, my fellow Americans, I am here to remind you that Thanksgiving is an important holiday for all, except filthy brown people who worship sand.
Because of this, terrorists will attack and strike at us, so we must be wary. Be sure to protect your friends, family, and expensive negro servants if such an event happens.
Well, don't worry about the manservants unless the table is already cleaned up. But, you get my point. Should you see any foreigners at all, please call your local branch FBI. Thank You.

 

by pslock
11-29-04
As I sit here and contemplate my mistakes, the dark, swirling abyss of my life begins to become apparent, and I start to lose all hope. Failure decorates my walls.
I try not to despair, but feelings of woe consume me and pull me back into the mists of half-forgotten memories about fleeting moments of past successes.
And so, I attain a form of crude enlightenment in this cave of solitude...
Yep...double checked it on the internet. I guess you *can't* use citric acid to dissolve the bodies of your victims. Oh well, back to square one!

 

by pslock
11-29-04
Today's superviolent video games are creating a generation of children more ever-obsessed with seeking to recreate the lurid chaos they see on screen in real-life situations.
That's ridiculous. By that logic, every form of passive entertainment somehow causes people to re-create the events in their everyday lives. Where is the line drawn?
Just admit that I am right, and that this country needs to clean itself of the vile filth of modern video games which corrupt the personalities of our youth.
This is because I beat you at Dance Dance Revolution, right?

 

by pslock
11-30-04
Digimon.
Pokemon.
DIGIMON!
POKEMON!!
Neopets.
Oh, FUCK no.

 

by pslock
12-04-04
When the aliens do indeed come to this planet, they will be hoping to usher in a new era of communication and friendship with our planet.
Prepare the immunization shots for all diseases and illnesses. Also, ready the infinite energy supply machines.
Yes, sir!
Instead, they will see how we have squandered our resources and let our intellect rot away into nothing.
So you want a Super Cola Surprise with Extra Bacon Grease, a box of OMGSUGARINMYVEINS, and tickets for which film again?
DUDE, THAT ONE CHRISTMAS MOVIE. HEH, DUDE, THE GUY ALL MAKES A FACE AND HITS HIS HEAD AND SHIT!!!! HEH!
Then, they will make a rather terrible decision, but one that ultimately makes sense.
Alright, the last of the Eliminatrons is off the planet, you may now take control.
Yes, sir!

 

by pslock
12-05-04
We should have our own political talk-show going on right here. After all there's two of us, and that's all you need.
Good idea. I can be the super-conservative blabbermouth who yells a lot and you can be the slight-less super conservative who doesn't wear a suit, so you come off as "the cool guy."
I'm not sure I like that arrangement.
Why? WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM YOU BLEEDING HEART!!! IT'S LIKE YOU *ENJOY* HAVING FOREIGNERS IN OUR BORDERS. SHOOT THEM ALL!! I SAW SOMETHING ON FOX NEWS THIS MORNING THAT IS FACT, CUZ OF THE RED TEXT.
Have we started already? Ok...umm....Well, we don't have to *shoot* them. We could simply detain them without trial and make them pay for their imprisonment. What are you, some kind of NAZI???
COMMIE BASTARD!!

 

by pslock
12-09-04
When I am ruler of the world and peoples of all nations bow before me, cowering in fear of my massive army of Death Androids that now controls all...
...I will still have to contend with the people I've saved and their view of me as an evil tyrant.
Fuck you.
And that's when I'll have to step back for a moment, and really reflect on how things are now...
Next on Our Leader's storytime, it's the story of the cute and fluffy bunnies who went into Our Leader's garden to steal lettuce and were subsequently destroyed by security androids!

 

by pslock
12-09-04
Hey....look over there!!!
What? I don't see anything....
There's a giant weasel...and he's stealing our trash!!!
Oh....so it's OUR trash now?

 

by pslock
12-13-04
Hey....look over th..
Shut up!!
Get this clown outta here...

 

by pslock
12-13-04
Hey....look over th..
Ummm...I have to interrupt at this point. This representation of what I assume is an Asian American is highly offensive.
I also suspect it was masterminded at some point by the legions of hidden Stripcreator Nazis who report only to President Bush and his army of liemongers.
Hear about all this and more in my next film, Bowling For Tobor, the expose' of what REALLY goes on in the dark, dank world of Stripcreator's secret infrastructure.

 

by pslock
12-13-04
Hey....look over there!!!
I got nothing....

Showing page 11.

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