All comics by Boritom

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by Boritom
6-16-05
I don't want to do it.
Then don't.
But he always makes me do it!
Refuse!
Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock...
You're such a weak-minded little fuck, Pants!

 

by Boritom
6-16-05
This one goes out to my Dad!
Wow... I never expected THIS!
I know, Mom, but it's Christmas, and I wanted to show you how much I loved you!
I don't know what to say!
You're sure he's dead!
Positive!

 

by Boritom
6-16-05
We would appreciate it if you all would stop making us do "Sucky-Sucky-Fi-Dollahs" jokes!
We both find it very insulting.
That's right!
MUNG!
Hehe...

 

by Boritom
6-16-05
In response to the previous strip, which was in EXTREMELY poor taste, the Asian Girls have been fired!
Unfortunately, all of the other characters, in a show of solidarity, went on strike in response.
This is going to suck!

 

by Boritom
6-16-05
Honey?
What?
Does this dress make me look fat?
I just can't do this. I mean, technically, we props are in a different Union, but I still feel like we've metaphorically crossed a picket line here!

 

by Boritom
6-16-05
Hey, dude! That chick over there is like totally checking me out!
Bullshit, man! She'd never give you the time of day!
Oh Really? Well, I'll show you! I'll have her eating out of my hand!
That I'd like to see!
(Psst... Bed... could you push me off the nightstand so I can finish this gag?)
(Sorry, Lamp... No arms!)

 

by Boritom
6-16-05
Gentlemen; BEHOLD! A perfect cybernetic replica of Entertainment Tonight's John Tesh!
Dude, you do realize that John Tesh left Entertainment Tonight over ten years ago, don't you?
Oh... Uhhh... Yeah... Sure I do!
I gotta get outta this fucking laboratory more often!
beep- Would you like to hear a New-Age Ballad -beep?

 

by Boritom
6-17-05
I should really go to the store and buy some more beer...
Or...
I could just post in my LJ that I'm having a BYOB party tonight, and there will be hot naked chicks all over the place from Suicide Girls.com!

 

by Boritom
6-17-05
Fuck it all! I knew I was going too fast...
Any ideas?
I could start moaning real loud, and you could try to convince the guard I'm sick, then when they open the cell door, I could knock them out so we can make a break for it!
That's a stupid idea!
Or, we could call Dad and admit what we did and beg him for bail money.
What should I tell the guard is wrong with you?

 

by Boritom
6-17-05
I know you're back there, disembodied arm!
So don't go tapping me on the shoulder and then hiding to freak me out, because it won't work.
Well... Fuck!

 

by Boritom
6-17-05
God...!
What?
Just... *tsk* GOD!
What is it?
You really piss me off sometimes!
Bitch!

 

by Boritom
6-17-05
Excuse me, sir, did you happen to see an octopus on a giant tricycle ride past here squirting ink all over the street and screaming, "Fuck the Proletariate?"
Ummm... No, I don't think so.
Okay... Thanks, bye!
I gotta move out of this fucking neighborhood!

 

by Boritom
6-17-05
Little girl?
What?
Do you realize you're levitating three feet off the ground?
Yes
Okay.... Just checking...
Asshat!

 

by Boritom
6-17-05
Wow...
Yeah... Wow!
How do you think she does that?
Couldn't tell ya.
She's gotta be, like, 37 feet up there!
Who cares, long as I can still see up her skirt!

 

by Boritom
6-17-05
You're not levitating today?
Nope
Why not?
Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops! Cops...
Bitch stole my punchline!

 

by Boritom
6-17-05
You're not levitating!
Uh, No shit!
Why not?
I'm using my powers to keep your half of the bench from falling over, you ignorant sack of fleas!
Oh
Fucktard!

 

by Boritom
6-17-05
° ° ° ° ° °
What are you doing?
Shut up, you'll break my...
AAAAAHHHH!
...concentration.

 

by Boritom
6-17-05
I'm not speaking to you!
Well, I'm not speaking to you either, then!
Fine!
FINE!
I'm so sorry!
I love you, Snookums!

 

by Boritom
6-17-05
I'm not coming in, and I mean it!
Fine... Don't!
See if I c-care...! *sob*
Okay, I'll come back.
You don't have to if you really don't want to!

 

by Boritom
6-20-05
WAKANAKA-POO! WAKANAKA-POO!
?
WAKANAKA-POO!WAKANAKA-POO!
WAKANAKA-POO!WAKANAKA-POO!
It takes a lot to scare the shit out of me, but this guy scares the shit out of me!

 

by Boritom
6-20-05
I'm gonna slit you open from cunt to gullett and feast on your entrails, you disgusting bitch!!!
Ooo... kaayyy...
Is this because of that orgasm I faked two years ago?

 

by Boritom
6-20-05
Damn!
What's wrong, Emiko?
I forgot my lunch again.
Sorry, can't help you this week.
Why not?
I'm not menstruating!

 

by Boritom
6-20-05
That's cool, Grampa, but i gotta get going before...
so then this feller told me I had to give him all my money! So I makes like I'm goin' fer mah wallet, and I pull a butterfly knife out. A'fore that feller knew what was happinin', I was slicing his...
Please shut up.
...fat ass up so bad, he looked like a delicatessen blew up in the middle of the street. Boy, I tell ya, I never saw so much blood, even that time back in 'Nam...
Maybe if I wish real hard, all the blood vessels in his brain will rupture simultaneously!
...when I had to flush out a tunnel full of VC out with one o' dem shrapnel grenades, and one of them got a bit in his eye and he cam out sqirtin' blood all over the place...

 

by Boritom
6-20-05
Are you me?
The real question is, are you ME?
Are we speaking transcendentally, or karmicly?
hmm... Good question...
COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK!
COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK! COCK!

 

by Boritom
6-20-05
...are you sure this is safe...? I mean, the stories about this house...
Are a bunch of unsubstantiated bullshit! You need to quit being such a goddamn PUSSY!
I know... I'm sorry...
You bet your ass, you're sorry! Now come on, we gotta get this done by the time Jerry gets back.
You're right! There's nothing to be afraid of! It's just a piece of real estate. There's no such thing as a haunted...
HOLYFUCKING-MOTHEROFGOD-SONOFAFUCKING-BITCHOUCHI'MDEAD!

 

by Boritom
6-20-05
bzzzzzzz....
bzzzzzzzzzzz....
Shoe, fly!
Bzzfuckyouzzz...

 

by Boritom
6-20-05
Knock-Knock
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Banana fuck you up the ass with a termite-covered dildo, till you bunghole drips shit down your mother's face!
You're a very rude little girl... It's a good thing you make my thighs quiver!

 

by Boritom
6-20-05
Knock-Knock!
Who's there?
Doctor!
Doctor Who?
Geek!

 

by Boritom
6-20-05
Knock-Knock!
Who's there?
You candy-assed, grandma-fondling, jock strap-licking, toe jam-munching, pimple-nibbling, cock-headed cockweasel!
You candy-assed, grandma-fondling, jock strap-licking, toe jam-munching, pimple-nibbling, cock-headed cockweasel who?
Just die, already!

 

by Boritom
6-20-05
Knock-knock!
Knock-Knock, Dammit!
KNOCK-FUCKING-KNOCK!
Ha-Ha! We're out of panels, you bitch!

 

by Boritom
6-20-05
Okay, my turn... Knock-Knock!
Oh fuck... Okay... Who's there?
Imalittle.
Imalittle who?
I'm a little teapot, short and stout! Here is my handle, here is my... other... handle... Holy shit! I'm a Sugar Bowl!

 

by Boritom
6-21-05
RAAAWWRRR!!!! TOBOR CORNHOLE YOU... Errr...
Wait... You look Familiar!
I should... I'm The EVIL Tobor from the Mirror Universe they talk about on Star Trek!
You mean....?
That's RIGHT!!! RAAAWWWR!!!! TOBOR HAVE CONSENSUAL COITUS IN THE MISSIONARY POSITION WITH YOU NOW!!!!

 

by Boritom
6-21-05
Go away!
I'm sorry?
I don't believe in you any more, so just go away!
Is this about you asking me for a new bike and getting a little sister instead?
You bet your ass... She was a little bitch!
Yeah, but your mom was one hot peice of ass... I couldn't help myself!

 

by Boritom
6-21-05
Uhh... Hi. Can I help you with something?
I want some FISH!
I don't have any fish.
Oh... Okay... then I want some WEED!
Now that I can do!

 

by Boritom
6-21-05
So... you gonna help me bust out?
Nope!
But it's your fault I got caught in the first place.
Sorry!
You're not my friend any more!
Whoopdie Shit!

 

by Boritom
6-21-05
I need you to go for help... I got bit by a rattle snake.
Nope!
But if I don't get medical help soon, I'll die!
Cool... Then I can fuck your corpse!

 

by Boritom
6-21-05
You happen to know where I put my Alzheimer's medication?
Yup... but I'm not telling you!
But if I don't get my meds soon, I'll... Booger... fart... Snot monkey doodle bear!
Shove my penis in an ostriches ass... I want to eat broken glass and fuck an angry polar bear... where's my mommy? Can you read the soup to me? I love hairy men! Whoops, I pooped myself...
Now, That's Entertainment!

 

by Boritom
6-22-05
...so then she said, "If you don't get out of the house right now, I'll call the police on your ass!"
Mmm-hmm.
So I said, "Dammit, I pay the bills for this house! Why the Hell don't you leave?"
Mmm... yeah, okay, uh... Look, I really need to know if there's been a crime committed here. So far, all i hear is that you yelled at each other
Well... she was waving a dead fetus over her head and carving a swastika into my groin at the time.
Shit, you think YOU got problems... Lemme tell you about MY wife!

 

by Boritom
6-22-05
Look, Dude, I'm sorry she didn't show up. I did warn you she was a bit of a flake, not to get your hopes up.
I know... It's just that I've been single for so long... I really needed this date!
I just wish I hadn't gone and ordered for her before I knew whether she was coming or not.
Well, there's no sense in all this expensive food going to waste! Let's eat!
You get a lot of free meals setting your friends up on blind dates, don't you!

 

by Boritom
6-22-05
Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock...
Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock... Wait... is there a point to this?
Ummmm.... No... Not really.
Okay... Just checking!
Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock...
Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock...

 

by Boritom
6-22-05
Hehehehehhhh
Wh... Where the Hell am I?
Yup!
Huh?
The Hell is where you are!
Fuckin' Yoda impersonator!

 

by Boritom
6-22-05
Hey, Man.... Where's all the chicks?
I don't know... They just kinda left!
What the fuck, Man? What kinda beach party is it without a bunch of chicks?
Not really sure what happened...
I thought they really liked my "Disappearing Gerbil" trick!

 

by Boritom
6-22-05
Great Mystical Dog on a Ball, can you tell me my future?
Sure, Kid, I'll tell you your future!
Cool... What is it?
You are going to live the rest of your life thinking stupid shit is great and mystical, and get ripped off a lot as a result! That'll be five bucks!
Amazing!

 

by Boritom
6-22-05
Most of Adam's strips lately have been kinda lame. All he does is use the random comic layout button, and try to think of a clever joke based on what comes up.
Jeez... What an asshole!
Yeah...
Mmm hmmm!
This shit ain't much better, come to think of it.
Tedious, Man... Absofuckinlutely Tedious!

 

by Boritom
6-24-05
You're that annoying Cock Monster that always ends your strips by chanting "Cock Cock Cock" all the time!
Hehe! Yup, That's me!
And then the poor fuck who shares the strip with you is powerless to stop you for some stupid reason!
Yessiree! So, Here we goooo.... Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock...
Fucker! Ruined the only 600th strip Adam will ever have on this stupid site!
Co... AUUUUUGGGHHHH!

 

by Boritom
6-24-05
I am doing this 601st strip just to relieve some bottled up stress!
Right... Okay, what do you need me to do then?
Just stand right there and look cute for a minute...
Oooo... kayyyy!
Okay, guys... DROP THE PIANO!
Oh Fuck!

 

by Boritom
6-24-05
Oh my God... You killed Emiko! You Bastard!!!!
>\/<
Bwahahahaha
Hehehehe... I don't know why that's so funny... Hehehe heheheheheheh!

 

by Boritom
6-24-05
So, Suki, are you really upset with me for killing Emiko?
Well....
......
No, not really... she was kinda a cunt!

 

by Boritom
6-24-05
Y'nkow, there are days when it genuinely hurts to exist!
You gonna tickle my chode, or what?
This is one of those days!

 

by Boritom
6-27-05
Look, I'm kinda busy... what do you want?
Well, I was kind of wondering if... I feel silly asking, but...
Hurry it up, Fat Boy, I don't have all friggin day!
I was hoping you'd be willing to change your name to something that isn't spelled similarly to "Santa."
You have five seconds to beat it, before I morph you into that idiotic "Soy Bomb" guy at the Grammy's.
What........... Again?!?

Showing page 12.

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