All comics by LuckyGuess

Profile

 

by LuckyGuess
10-15-06
What brings you to the secret underground ninja training facility of the deadly Kyoo Oni, O turban'd one?
So there's these Americans.

 

by LuckyGuess
10-15-06
Oh yeah, Condi? Well I think you should step into my office and discuss that with me in person.
Sure thing, Mr. President. But only if the Dalai Lama can come, too.
It's not nice of you to invite a friend without someone to keep him company. Can somebody page my wife?
She's coming up, sir. Your daughters are with her.
Also, there's a huge group of 5th graders that's touring the building. I'll send them in as well.
These hentai dating games are so realistic.

 

by LuckyGuess
10-21-06
Hey, I'm here for the D&D club.
Good, young warrior. Your story begins now.
You get 2000 gold to spend on supplies.
Why are you dressed as a wizard?
You get 1000 gold to spend on supplies.

 

by LuckyGuess
10-25-06
I've decided to rip jeans and sell them. What do you think?
Shitty, but giving that not shitty vibe.
If I rip them multiple times where people get really cold then they'll buy many of them at incredibly high prices.
Do you rip a hole in the ass?
We stain the ass white.
You should rip a hole in the ass.

 

by LuckyGuess
10-31-06
That last game was terrible. You made it terrible. It's your fault.
It's not my fault. It's your fault.
It's your fault.
It's your fault.
It's your fault.
It's your fault.

 

by LuckyGuess
10-31-06
It's your fault.
It's your fault.
It's your fault.
It's your fault.
It's your fault.
It's your fault.

 

by LuckyGuess
10-31-06
It was your fucking fault.
No it fucking wasn't.
I think it was everyone's fault.
That can't be right. It must be Jared's fault.
I agree. Nice going, Jared.

 

by LuckyGuess
10-31-06
We're a team, here.
Gotcha.
That means we act like a team.
Gotcha.
So stop being a pair of idiots.
It's like I was born anew.

 

by LuckyGuess
10-31-06
Nate, aka MrSenator11. A strong defensive player who specializes in army building and map monopolization. Uses a knight to quickly take out any pesky enemy heroes.
This guy is being a shithead with his shithead strategy.
In public chat, he likes to pretend to care if other players stay in game or not.
PLEASE STAY. PLEASE. WE NEED YOU TO STAY.
okay sure lolo
In private chat he likes to point out everyone's in-game fuck ups with startling poignancy. But for the most part he just fights with Jeremy.
Jared, I noticed your towers weren't spaced far enough apart to stop the enemy from getting into my base. Oh, and Jeremy is a douchebag.
Are these topics somehow related?

 

by LuckyGuess
10-31-06
Jeremy, aka Gandolfnager. A strictly support player who uses the safety net of other players to build massive troll armies and 'suprise' opponents with them. Also uses a mercenary to steal units.
All your catapults are belong to didymoot.
In public chat he always makes the games because nobody else ever decides on anything specific.
So we want a team game?
*chirp chirp*
In private chat he ends up defending why the games were bad and why in God's green earth he summoned a Balrog in the middle of the collective allied army.
Your Drake killed my base.
Stop being so negative.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-06-06
I shall crush your puny human body, and scratch myself with whatever recognizable body parts are left!
Like a femur or a pelvis. Maybe a liver if I'm feeling frisky.
Are you single?
I'm going to say no and you're going to pretend I'm telling the truth.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-07-06
Fuck all y'all !
HEY! I said fuck all y'all !
This is degrading.
I think it's sweet.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-14-06
Welcome back, gamers. From the looks of things you made it into college. Congratulations.
I found a photo of the dean and a taiwanese hooker on Myspace and they let me right in.
However, college is tough. And for you gamers out there, you're going to have to ask yourself a very difficult question before you start attending regular classes.
You should have seen it. There was cheese whiz and goat hair everywhere.
Would you rather study hard and get good grades or pull a a series of all nighters getting your Tarutaru Black Mage to level 20?
lol kick the whm shes a noob
haha kk imma pull a pugil now

 

by LuckyGuess
11-14-06
Well, college has started. And from the looks of things, you'll need money for books, food, and electricity.
I just take kids from the preschool and make them run on a wheel for power.
You could get a job, but that's probably not your thing. Luckily the campus itself affords many opportunities for making some cash.
I'm growing pot in my Sega Genesis.
If work isn't an option, you can always take online surveys, be a secret shopper, or even call all the numbers in the phone book asking for money. The choice is yours.
I sell it to the writing department. They seem to like it.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-14-06
Uh oh. Looks like you have a midterm coming up. As a gamer, you probably haven't studied as much as you should have.
My eyes can only comprehend text if it's in an onscreen box.
Don't worry, you still have time! You can study with your roomate, your friends, or use the resources in the library. And the professors and TAs are sure to be able to help.
But none of those people can summon a level 10 fire drake, now can they?
It's a fire drake! RUN!
If worse comes to worse, just make sure you get a good nights sleep so that you can focus on and correctly answer a few of the questions.
Haha. Burning villagers. They always make me laugh.
Not the orphans! NOT THE ORPHANS!

 

by LuckyGuess
11-14-06
I'm so unhappy.
I just shat blood.
An angel had sex with me.
It's Antarctica!
I'm the prophet, you know.
I need a cock in my ass, stat!

 

by LuckyGuess
11-14-06
You drowned your sister!
Mom, you're drunk.
Are you my father?
No, but I'm going to have sex with you.
I'm your long lost brother!
Here's a plate.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-14-06
I talk with God.
Viva la Revolution!
Everyone is dead!
Did you bring my Micheal Jackson button?
You need to go to Germany.
I hope they have Micheal Jackson buttons.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-14-06
Don't eat noodles in the television room!
I need a smoke.
I want to have sex.
I'm actually gay.
I hear Jimmy fell off a roof.
Let's get wasted!

 

by LuckyGuess
11-16-06
Checkin R-M-D-C lalalalalala
Huh. That's new.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-20-06
He went to college, day by day, to bask in knowledge now revered. Alas, the knowledge that he won was not, as he had feared.
So on he went to the internet, to try and find some space. "I'll make a bunch of comics now!" You should have seen his face.
He made new friends, they joked around- with owls, 'trons, and anal. The stress was slowly dying down. A classic fairy tale.
But then one user, boozed and pissed, brought up a broken point. Though his intent the rest did miss, his view they must destroy.
And on and on for days and days the BS came to boil. The users went their seperate ways and left behind their toil.
Soon this kid who tried to find a haven from the stress, was sitting on an empty site. lewlomg, buttsecks.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-21-06
Have you signed up for classes yet?
We can sign up for classes?
Sure we can. They told us that one time three months ago, remember?
No.
It that thing in your forehead a vein? You should get that checked.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-21-06
Better sign up for classes, then.
SERVICE ERROR: CLASS ENROLLMENT PASSWORD NOT ACCEPTED
Two weeks ago you accepted it.
Well now I'm not.
Have fun in feminist studies, bitch.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-21-06
Hi, the password you gave me to enter my UCSC account isn't working.
Really? Because I'm in your account with the same password right now.
WAHAHAHAHAHA! WAHAHAHA! I hope you get the shittiest professors there are! HAHAHAHA!
Sir? Sir? You're breathing really hard, sir.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-21-06
Password, Screen name.
Denied.
Password, screen name.
Denied.
What do you want from me? I just want to sign up for classes.
Your will to live.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-24-06
At some point a girl may ask you to talk, help her with homework, or do some other kind of task that will probably not end with sex.
Girl? Like my sweet chibi Shion Uzuki?
Hurry, Ziggy! We have to save KOS-MOS!
Notice the "not end with sex" part of that last statement.
I have the biggest boner right now.
Gnosis materialization complete. Switching to combat mode.
Think of women in general as a Borg hive mind. Acting like a retard in front of one means you've acted like a retard in front of them all.
Hi! Can you help me with my bio paper?
You have boobies. Let me touch them.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-24-06
You will have work. A lot of work. Every quarter tends to lean towards more written work or readings, but either way you'll have a whole lot.
My Pikmin will do my homework for me.
Captains Log: The Pikmin appear to have different colors. I have no idea what this means.
It is imperative that you do as much of this work as possible. Make all the time you can for it, even if it means sacrificing your gaming.
Ha, ha. No.
A new challenger has arrived!
Neglecting your work will in all likelyhood destroy your grades and end up causing you to fail classes. Unless you happen to be some kind of super genius who can pass all the tests. But are you?
You think you can take this, Skullomania? Bring it, fucker.
Shiinpai-HADOKEN!

 

by LuckyGuess
11-24-06
Try and make friends with your roomate. They can and will make your life a living hell as retaliation for being an asshole.
It's 1 AM. Turn off the games.
Can't. Boss fight.
And chances are they'll have at least some time alone with your system and games, which could be bad if they also own, say, a screwdriver.
I have a final tomorrow. Turn off the games.
Hello? Boss fight? This is a little more important than whatever the hell you're talking about.
Please, be considerate.
I'm about to kick your ass.
Like you could even hope to get past my fire resistant chainmail.

 

I reiterate, don't piss off your roomates.
Zzzz.
Krigus the Fly, hast thou forsaken me?
by LuckyGuess, 11-24-06

 

by LuckyGuess
11-26-06
You may have theoretical discussions in class with other people.
Marx obviously was not considering the factors of human greed and power when he envisioned the ideal communist state.
Leetspeak is something you'll want to avoid in this type of situation.
Marx was a n00b.
Especially since other people from your generation probably know what you're saying, and that it's wrong.
No, Marx was a 1337 hax0r, and the core foundation of his theory pwned teh b1tch3s. You're a n00b.
omg wtf

 

by LuckyGuess
11-26-06
Essays will be big and due a relatively short time from being assigned. You should definitely try to get the jump on either your research or a draft.
Hang on, I'm adding DDR steps to the theme from Star Wars.
Just make sure you aren't hamfisting the thing two hours before it's due just so that you have something, because you in all likelihood will fail miserably.
I'm trying to make the first duh-duh-duh-duh match the second duh-duh-duh-duh.
Or you could just fail miserably.
I want the big duhs to be continuous steps and the little duhs to be single steps.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-26-06
If your parents are supporting you, a minimal level of courtesy should be kept.
I always kill my parents in Fable. Who's buying candy from the traveling merchant now, Mom? That's what I thought.
Otherwise the minimal level of funding might not be.
Power's out!
And you probably don't want that.
My data... my data... NOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

by LuckyGuess
11-28-06
I will have a drink! A SUPER DRINK!
Hey, do you know what time it is?
WHAT? A NEGRO MALE?! Sorry, evildoer, but you will not rape me as is typical for all negro males! FOR I AM COMMANDER BLOP!
Lady, I just want the time.
COMMANDER BLOP AWAAAAAY!
Barkeep? I think I was just disenfranchised.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-28-06
I'll take this Juicy Couture jogging outfit OF JUSTICE!
That'll be 37 dollars.
What? Do you know who I am? I AM COMMANDER BLOP! Fighter of injustice everywhere, scorn of evil!
Well you need to command me that 37 dollars before I bar the security doors.
COMMANDER BLOP DOES NOT FEAR YOU OR YOUR POORLY DYED HIGHLIGHTS AND FAT THIGHS!

 

by LuckyGuess
11-28-06
HELLO, LONER! What are you playing... FOR JUSTICE!
A japanese import of Poke'mon pearl version. I just caught a Feebas and am trying to evolve him into Milotic.
Did you name it COMMANDER BLOP?!
I named it Happy.
FEAR MY LASER EYE BEAMS, VILLAIN!
Stop hitting me with that pinwheel.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-29-06
Guess who got a new MySpace profile?
Did you guess yet? I'll keep asking until you guess.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-29-06
Funny, huh?
I thought she already had four other profiles.
I guess she needed another one.
Well the other three I have blocked...
Maybe you should finish that paper before you check your inbox.
...oh no.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-29-06
It says here she's married.
To the same guy she left you for, screwed, left her, screwed her friends, screwed her and her friends at the same time, then gave permission to cheat on her as long as they could stay together.
They're both still in high school, too. Hey, all her pictures are blurred and she's working as an assistant to a barkeep.
This ranks among my favorite days.

 

by LuckyGuess
11-29-06
Anything you wanna do? Block her, send her hate mail, bust out the disguised link to goatse card?
You know what? Leave her alone. She's suffereing enough trying to get a hold of any joy that remains in her abysmal existence.
You think she still reads your comics?
Hm...
Your ex sure is a bitch! Now that you aren't around to slap the cocks out of her mouth, how will she get along?
With a whole bunch of cocks in her mouth! HAW!

 

by LuckyGuess
11-30-06
Happy B-day grandma. Did you make a wish?
I wish I was dead.
Well I bought you a cake.
I hope there's death in it.
You're silly, grandma.

 

by LuckyGuess
12-02-06
Hey Aryeh, I'm glad you talked me into getting Halo, I'm havin a blast!
No problem, we seem to work good as a team.
We should do something that will probably get us fragged multiple times and is totally time consuming and pointless.
Correction- 'Seemed' to work good as a team.
Let's put all the vehicles in the hallway.
We can't play together any more.

 

by LuckyGuess
12-09-06
So I went to the play at my old high school last night. It was terrible, but the context was that my ex girlfriend was a cheating whore. I had fun.
Before it started her boyfriend handed Humpenstein, who was sitting next to me, the flowers he was going to give her after the show.
Then he left to go smoke pot in the park for two hours and fifteen minutes of a two hour and thirty minute play.
We called him and he didn't remember who we were.
After the show he pretended he had seen the entire play.
I could make a huge series of comics about this, but I don't need to.

 

Is it hot out here or did I just eat my testicles?
by LuckyGuess, 12-12-06

 

by LuckyGuess
12-12-06
Something seems off.
I told you to wash down there or the smell would come back.

 

by LuckyGuess
12-18-06
I need you to fill out these forms. They've been in my inbox for a while, but I think you can handle the job.
I'm not even in your department. Where's that student assistant you just got?
I'll give you ten bucks to eat whatever's in the closed stall.
Make it twenty.
I've learned not to rely on him too much.

 

by LuckyGuess
12-18-06
Shouldn't you be typing up an expense report right now?
Worm in the system. Every program file in the network was turned into minesweeper.
Did you go to tech support?
Ha, ha. I sent Joe.
The trick is to look at the numbers.
Shit, I clicked the mine again.

 

by LuckyGuess
12-18-06
Listen, I need you to take the night shift. I have to find a way to kill my wife before the next child support payment.
I have finals in the morning.
Study with Ted. He'll be around.
Wait... Ted from accounting?
Can you tell me how to calculate the deep water velocity of an ocean wave?
RARR! TED FROM ACCOUNTING WILL CORNHOLE YOU!

 

by LuckyGuess
12-18-06
Heya, Pete. Close the door.
Is this about the student aide leaving?
You allowed him to be alone with Ted.
In my defense, I was having sex with the copy room girl when he was told to stay for the night.
That's my daughter. And she's fifteen.
She told me she was twelve.

 

by LuckyGuess
12-19-06
Joe? Joe, are you okay?
Somebody is playing techno music just loud enough so that I can barely hear it. They must be punished.
Why don't you just play some of your own music to drown out the techno?
And why don't I also grow a vagina and buy a cat?
Agent Dan, did you accomplish your mission?
The target was successfully lured away long enough to dismantle his swivel chair, sir.

 

by LuckyGuess
12-20-06
*sigh* I hate this part of my job.
I been to mushroom mountain, once or twice but who's countin', but nothin' compares to these blue and yellow puuuurple pills.
Thank you.

Showing page 14.

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