All comics by christopher7murphy

Profile

 

Whenever a Super-Hero is in dire circumstances...he usually uses a standard comic book cliche to get out of trouble.
Okay, I'm ready to go save BATador!
Ben! I know what to do...we can save him WITHOUT a comic book cliche!
I feel good about this!
You can scrap Hitler's brian!
Check!

 

Okay...here's where the sewer pipe leads out to sea...hmmmm.
What next?
Let's just wade out a bit, and do what we do best.
Is it getting warm down here, or is it just me?

 

-cough- splutter- I'm saved! -ptuey- blah!
Yay!
Ewwww. There's a bad taste in my mouth. It's "diabolical." -blah- hacky- bleck!
Hmmm?
-hic-
Ooops...sorry. Residual effects of Hitler's brain. Let me fix that.

 

-ehem- KNOCK KNOCK!
I said, "KNOCK KNOCK!"
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Hold on! Almost done!

 

KNOCK! KNOCK!
Who's there?
Interupting cow!
I said, "Interup....
Who's there?

 

Listen, you! When I say who it is...you're suppose to ask "Interupting Cow, who?"
The "Knock Knock" is kinda my way of beating you and saving they day.
That's stupid.
Interupting Co....
Now, was THAT so difficult?

 

I.P. McFreely, I hoped you learned a lesson! You should never let a schoolhood vendeta lead you to a life of crime.
-snif-
So what if the Mayor made fun of your name! You were kids!
He didn't make fun of my name.
He use to make fun of me because I was chunky.

 

BATador! You're okay! And thanks to you, I.P. McFreely's plans were foiled!
Yay!
Now, all we have to do, is stop the toilets from overflowing and flooding the city.
Done! I had my new friends in the Urinal Circle divert the overflow out to sea.
Hmmmm? Is it getting warmer down here, or is it just me?

 

Mayor? No worries! I.P. McFreely's plans have been throtted.
Thanks to you and BATador, Captain B.S.!
But I have to say...if you hadn't ever teased him in school, this never would have happened.
Well... Screw him if he can't take a joke!
I didn't become Mayor of Audass City by being all touchy feely! Bah!
Your Honor? There's a "Gassy McPatty" on line two.

 

Dear TP Comics, The latest adventure of BATador truely scared me into abandoning my life of crime.
I am currently looking for work and was hoping you had an opening. My former position was "minion."
My "special ability" included long periods of urination. I feel this makes me qualified to be part of your editorial staff. Signed, Lenny.
I would also be good at "lawyering."

 

I'm sooo lonely. Boo-hoo!
-snif-
Awwww. Poor baby.
Hold the bacon?

 

Show biz was in his blood. He worked 365 days a year....for the past thirty years.
tk-tk-tk!
He put off meeting that someone special, settling down, starting a family.
tk-tk-tk!
As he got older, he had regrets. It was definite, his paternal cock was ticking.
tk-tk-tk!

 

Day one: Seperated from my unit, I marched across the desert. Survival on my mind.
-bzzzzzzz-
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz-And the sky with no clouds...
Dear Diary: OMFG! Two days! I can't believe how hot it is! I'm gonna have a bitchin' tan, though!
-bzzzzzzz- fart!
The heat was hot and the ground was dry- But the air was full of sounds...
Dear Penthouse: I promised I would never tell a living soul...but there was the cutest little dude ranch on the ninth day...
I've been through the desert on a horse with no name.
Honey? It's Sharron! Don't you remember me?

 

SHut up...I just came in for my copy of Harry Potter! Don't say anything!
Yes, I have it. It's....
LA LA LA--Don't say ANYTHING. I don't want you to give away the ending!
Okay! Okay! That will be $24!
Damn you! I told you I DIDN'T want to hear the ending!

 

-ehem- Mike Vick? We at NIKE have rethought your endorsment of our new line of shoes.
But....but...
No, Mr. Vick. We can not condone your practice of dog fighting.
I truely believe in your product. I have already ran thousands of miles in your shoes.
...and boy, are my dogs bitin'!
Hey, now! None of that!

 

I was at the Book Store, and I heard Harry Potter Seven was a record setter.
They made over two thouand dollars in the first fortyfive minutes...and with only two registers!
FORTYFIVE minutes! That's a "good romp in the sack!"
...and almost as expensive.

 

You should be ASHAMED of yourself!
Huh?
That Harry Potter promotes "black magic!"
?
You'll burn in Hell...selling that crap!
...and now the gigglefest begins...sigh.

 

In my day...we had wholesome books...Like "Mary Poppins,"The Wizard of Oz," "The Chronicles of Narnia"...
Mam? ALL of those examples have a measure of magic and witches
mmm? Well..then..."Doctor Doolittle?"
...Talking goats...sign of the devil.
"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!" Where's the devil in that?
Corporate president using oppressed minorities as underpaid labor...same thing!

 

Welcome to Copperfield's. Would you like to try our Table of Two Sit-Teas?
It's our Bleak House blend with an Oliver Twist of lemon.
Delicious! I had Great Expectations for this brew.
Some tipper he was! We only got a Nickle, Bea!
Well...these are Hard Times, Carol.

 

I had a HUNCH you would be BACK.
I wanted to try one of your French Literat-Teas.
Well...here Hu'go!
My...such a dark tea, too.
How did it taste?
Misérable!

 

Now?
No. Not now.
Now?
No. Still not yet. Next one.
Space. The FINAL Front-Deer!
Ahhhhh! Sweet pun of life. -sigh-

 

Computer?
Yesh, Captain? (oh, Captain) -hic-
What's the estimated time of arrival?
We've been shhhtreamin' through shpace for..hic...shometime, now.
You've been hittin' that Space Bar again, haven't ya?
Why have it...hic...if you don't use it? -snort- hic!

 

Hi. Was there a title I could help you find?
Oh, no. I wish he would let me shop in peace.
Go away! Stop bothering me! I don't need any help, and I'm sick of you!
Great! Did you want that in paperback or hardcover?
ARRRRRG!

 

I.....
Listen! Everytime I come here...I am greeted and offered assistance!
If I WANTED help...I would ask for it! Sheesh!
That'll show 'em!
Welcome to the Book Store. Can I help you?

 

I am sick and tired of coming into this store and being greeted!
Was that one of Grisham's earliest works?
Hi! Could I help you find anything?
That's it! I'm going to write a letter to your corporate office!
Hee hee. That was fun!
No one ever gets fired for doing thier job.

 

Ohhhh, Henry! You never leave a tip whenever you sample one of our Literat-Teas.
I'm so sorry, but if I leave a tip, I can't afford your tea.
Well, this little brew is compliments of the man at the end of the bar.
Let's call it a Gift.

 

Why yes, that IS a banana in my pocket...and I am glad to see you!
by christopher7murphy, 7-29-07

 

Hi! Is there a certain title I can help you find?
No. I'm just lookin' for something that tickles my fancy.
Oh...the music store is down at the other end of the mall.

 
Excuse me.

 
It's fun to stay at the...

 

Although he will always be considered the world's most brilliant mind...
Huff...and pufff...and BLOOOOOWWWW!
He spent decades trying to perfect his greatest failer:
Hair Gel!
E=TRESemmé® C Squared!

 

Can I get potato wedges here?
Are the stars out tonight?
Who knows if it's cloudy or bright...
Cuz I only have fries...for yooooou...deer.

 

Things heard in a Book Store:
I have to finish those returns, so I'll be in back stripping.
That means she's ripping the covers off paperbacks to send back to the publishers for credit.
I need to take that dump.
A "dump" is a cardboard merchandising display.
Look how shiney the floor is!
That means she's making a break for it, and if we need her...she'll be getting drunk at lunch.

 

Stoned-Boy! Whoooa! Is anybody else feeling peckish?
Polar-Boy! I can smell carrots!
Knight-Girl! It's dark in here!
Pork-u-Pine Pete! -snif- MMmmm... Love that evergreen scent!
ARRRRRRRRG! It burns! It Burns!
Shut up Fire-Lad!

 

Hey, did you ever just pop a fart at the most inapropriate time?
I mean like in front of a lot of very important people?
Are you kidding? How do you think I met my wife?

 

Thank you for calling Hell.
Your call is very important to us. Please continue to hold.
- theme from Chariots of Fire -

 

Gomer PILE : USMC
I CAN"T HEAR YOUUUU!
Well, Golly!
by christopher7murphy, 7-31-07

 

The Partridge Family
Tracy! For goodness sake! Quit shittin' on the windshield!
by christopher7murphy, 7-31-07

 

The Partridge Family: A 'Special No Smoking Episode.' (rerun)
Danny! For goodness sake! Stop that or you'll stunt your growth and grow up to punch prostitutes!
by christopher7murphy, 7-31-07

 

M*A*S*H: A 'Special Episode' where Sherman decides to kick some Voldemort and Korean ass after he comes home from the war. (rerun)
Col. Potter? You have a letter from your wife. She says she's late, Sir.
Dag gummit! I guess we could name him Harry, if it's a boy.
by christopher7murphy, 7-31-07

 

Seinfeld: A 'Very Special Episode' (and aint they all) where Kramer is asked to leave the golf club. (lost episode)
Tiger! You're a swell...um...What's the word I'm looking for?
by christopher7murphy, 8-01-07

 

I am Dracula! And you will do everything I say!
Raise your arms!
Hah! I didn't say "Dracula says!"
Oh, no! Now it's Tobor's turn to be it.

 

And this arrangement was painted by Vincent Viagra. It is valued at one million dollars.
Hmmm. I see. And how much for the one behind you?
That? Oh, no. That's just an I-Phone somebody left on the table.
Oh...that is funny! Ha-ha! You thought that I-Phone was a piece of art for sale! Funny!
Oh, no! Ha-ha-ha! I thought it was just another piece of crap, too.

 

Sir? I will write in permanant magic marker the letters "L" and "R" over parts of your body.
That way, you will always be able to look and determine your "Left" from your "Right."
Sir. Please don't giggle, you're moving.
Sorry, they are Test-Ticklish.

 

The Bradey Bunch: (preempted by President's State of the Union Address)
Mrs. Bradey! Your daughter Marcia is having sex with your step-son up in the attic!
Damn her! It was my turn to ride the boy!
by christopher7murphy, 8-01-07

 

The Honeymooners: From the Gleason Family estate, a long forgotten episode! (colorized)
One on these days, Norton! I'm gonna sodomize you to the moon! Zoooom!
"Hello, balls!"
by christopher7murphy, 8-01-07

 

Wow. God sure does great work. Every mark painstakenly placed so carefully. -sigh- So magnificent! So breath-taking!
PUT SOME BOOBIES ON IT!

 

KNIGHT Rider: The intervention episode. (part 2 of 2)
Michael. You can catch up to the blackmailers by taking the shortcut through the porn and automotive district (and stop for a Big Mac).
K.I.T.T. You have a problem.
by christopher7murphy, 8-02-07

 

Welcome to the Ancient Elephant Burial Grounds (Established c. 1972)
Hey..this isn't Stripcreator.
Not to be confused with The Happy Hunting Burial Grounds, a subsidiary of the Ancient Elephant Burial Grounds.
How do I get out of here?
Please press ENTER to continue.
ARRRRRG! I wasn't ready!

 

You seem a bit depressed.
I have reasons.
Can I get you a cup of coffee? A bit of cake? A peppermint?
No thank you. I've had some already.
How about a little tea?
Actually, it's a cross.

Showing page 16.

« Previous Next »